SaysWho?

"it started on a golden escalator. it ended at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, an affordable local provider of home landscaping and lawn services in the greater Philadelphia area.
this is the story of President Donald Trump"

Rob DenBleyker - it started on a golden escalator. it... | Facebook

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM

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it started on a golden escalator. it ended at Four Seasons Total Landscaping, an affordable local provider of home landscaping and lawn services in the greater Philadelphia area. this is the story...

Came in my own mouth and liked it

1 minute ago, Jason said:

 

I bet a lot of people like Joe because of the Onion.

Biden Tossed Out Of Car Passing By White House

POLITICS.THEONION.COM

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WASHINGTON—At approximately 2 a.m. Thursday morning, White House sources confirmed that Vice President Joe Biden was forcibly pushed out the rear door of a moving 1980 Lincoln Town Car onto the curb outside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. “Whoa, those hombres were not fucking around,” said Biden, assuring a small group of onlookers that he was fine as he climbed to his feet and dusted himself off. “Being in the hole 50-large ain’t no joke, but no...

And it's easier to pick Jones because he lost.

Not that it's good that he lost, but I feel Sanders/Liz wouldn't be in the Cabinet because a Republican governor could replace them. If they win the Senate, there'd be no point in losing control of the Senate right after that.

26 minutes ago, Firewithin said:

how happy must The Onion be right now.  they will finally stop getting their headlines stolen

They're also probably thrilled to bring back Diamond Joe.

They're celebrating in red areas, too:

5 minutes ago, Jason said:

 

More world leaders:

oh shit

2 hours ago, marioandsonic said:

Rush Limbaugh? Go the fuck away.  How you are still alive is beyond me.

This is the only part I disagree with.

I'm glad he lived to watch this. This is his last presidential election, with a man running as a Republican embodying everything Rush is, and a metric shitton of Americans came out and kicked him out.

Whoops, @DPCyric

Let me @skillzdadirecta your attention to how I see this election:

Trump saw the call earlier for @Joe Biden as @Mr.Vic20 President-Elect and said @BloodyHell. Sure, he wanted to be a @CastlevaniaNut18 but unfortunately for him this is a democracy, not a monarchy. As American @CitizenVectrons, it was our duty to put new leadership into the White House even if it was as laborious as pushing a skyscraper up a @SlipperySlope. We couldn't just let bad things happening drive us to @Spawn_of_Apathy. We had to wait as the results @Slugged along, yet our patience paid off. Biden won @ThreePi of those Rust Belt states we lost last time, and Trump lost @mrbiggsly.

The margins are big enough where we can say this is a mandate and we didn't @Dodger a bullet. Signs were @Ominous Election Night, and when Florida, home of the @Commissar SFLUFAN in Gainesville, tipped toward Trump, it felt like a @Comet had hit us, or worse a @Spork3245 in the eye or @Brick to the face, our morale @Chollowa. 

We stayed calm with no @Remarkableriots. Rudy tried to be a @Massdriver of misinformation, but it came from Rudy, which @Signifyin(g)Monkey that it was bullshit. Libertarians and liberals and Democratic socialists joined together, rivals who came together like @marioandsonic. In a way, Trump did unite us, but against him.

The @silentbob majority in this not so @SilentWorld was the Biden voter: no ostentatious red hat, no rallies, just a vote that ended up being louder than all of boat parades you can think of. We were not @PaladinSolo; we were together in this. No difference made being @MarSolo, but as one unit, we could fight back. We saw that he could win once (and doesn't pre-2016 feel like @SimpleG times in comparison?) so we wouldn't be @LazyPiranha and stay home. Sure, we weren't @Kal-El814, but not all heroes wear capes.

While his tantrums may @Ricofoley in people's minds, remember that he won't stay as president soon; January 20 will be his @finaljedi day where he can say that. If he says he is on January 21, just be like @SaysWho?. And @Jason Miller will be gone, too! @osxmatt Gaetz can whine, but it makes no difference. And no more hearing someone pretend he's done more for the black community since @cusideabelincoln.  Will Putin and Trump @69los after January 20 and put it on @Bloodpornehub? I don't care! 

And whether you like/dislike or are neutral toward her, Kamala being the first woman in the White House will leave a @GeneticBlueprint for future generations as to what's possible, a giant @stepee toward a more perfect union, and a reminder of the @Firewithin our American spirits to vote, where my one vote is worth as much in my state as Trump's. 

Yes, it's fun to picture Trump as a @Chairslinger and crap on his @Reputator, but this is more than that. I don't need to check out @sexy_shapiro's Twitter account to read his silly comments. I can just bask in this triumph and then get back to work tomorrow. We'll need Biden, Harris, but more importantly, the American people to @Captain Pickle this ship to calmer waters. We'll start with getting those Georgia Senate seats. Then maybe a safe COVID @vaxick?

And God, this year has felt like it's taken forever. Wasn't it yesterday that @Chris- Matthews was let go? Feels like it. Hell, it feels like not long ago that Biden announced he would @run32.dll for president. Or Bernie/Liz, who we thought were @Greatoneshere but couldn't get the votes. 

As an aside, @Keyser_Soze is one of the characters in The Usual Suspects which is a @sblfilms, Americans like @Bacon, @b_m_b_m_b_m are on the bottom of your keyboard, and @mclumber1 is what we'll eventually have after we chop down a tree. Sorry but I don't think I can figure out bullshit ways to sneak more of you into this story. 

God, I hope I didn't miss something so obvious but, Joe Biden:

This version of America the Beautiful is so so so so so so so beautiful.

Using the AP/Fox calls for this one. Gonna add it to the OP.

Looks so much better than last time.

8 minutes ago, ManUtdRedDevils said:

THIS IS ACTUALLY REAL

Don't care for any of Van Jones' analysis, but respect for the man for letting it out.

While technically correct that network calls are projections and not official.... lol at "Networks don't get to decide the election. Courts do." Because you can't win the people. Maybe he'll melt down even more.

Mayor of Paris:

This is when Trump found out (EDIT: either that, or this is just what he was doing at the time, but when he says they "got the shot" it sounds like he knows):