LazyPiranha

There's a pretty big difference between random chuckleheads making dumb shit on the internet for the lulz and it being played at a business owned by the President of the United States.

Those are totally fair standpoints for a review. If someone made a movie that took a remarkably pro Al Qaida standpoint and genuinely pushed suicide bombers as heroes, would you roll your eyes at a review criticizing the premise and claiming it shouldn't exist? I'm not saying these are in the same league, but talking about a film in context with its cultural moment is kind of the point of a film critic.

For the last time people, Star Wars makes no fucking sense. It never has. It didn't make sense within the first five minutes of the first movie when two empire chucklefucks don't bother to deal with an escape pod that has no life forms aboard in a world where sentient robots are literally everywhere. You're carrying a torch for a storyline the original creators couldn't pull off right out of the gate.

I enjoyed both movies just fine. I'm not letting any of this ruin things for me. The only thing I'm saying is people who hate TLJ for plot issues but love Rogue One are forgiving a ton of nonsense. You can hate TLJ and love Rogue One, that's fine, but to say TLJ makes no sense and abandons everything established in the lore then to gush over Rogue One makes no sense at all.

What interesting characters? You don't know any of them for long enough for them to develop much of a character at all and throughout the entire movie they're making decisions that are absurd. They're boilerplate archetypes, a scenery chewing Forest Whitaker, and Madds Mikkelsen hardly waiting for the word "cut" before running to the bank with his paycheck. If someone cares about plot consistency at all than Rogue One takes a hatchet to the storyline.

Anyone who doesn't like TLJ for plot reasons but likes Rogue One must have been sleepwalking through that movie. Remember when the blind samurai and his buddy go along on a suicide mission with total strangers they know nothing about and everyone is just kind of cool with that? Air tight plotting right there. Let's not forget that they end the movie in a way where the start of A New Hope makes zero sense at all. "Yeah, this is a diplomatic mission bruh" "Bitch I just watched you take off five minutes ago. I was behind you the whole time."

Motherfucker, George Lucas had the concept in his head that an adult Indiana Jones fucked Marion when she was 11.

The press tour to this movie has been a parade of people stepping up to the plate of a tee ball game and whiffing at the air. Not since the Sex and the City movies has there been a group of people so incapable of reading the cultural moment, and it's weird to see the people who made this thing so confused by completely predictable questions. If the movie ends up being good, it will be like a hurricane blowing through a junkyard and accidentally assembling a cherry '67 Nova.

My proposal:

So you've never been to a mainstream porn website, but you do daily browse kotaku and then intentionally click on the link that explicitly says "video game porn" in the title?

Sue them for what? As stupid as the decision to publish this article is, suing Kotaku for reporting/critiquing something created by someone else hosted by someone else, that sets a really weird precedent for future cases where people publish indecent material for more newsworthy purposes. Besides, if people were actually bothered offended by this then they'd be spending a lot of time reporting the actual porn sites actually hosting these videos to the proper authorities. I'm sure @AbsolutSurgen reported Pornhub to the FBI for hosting simulated child porn as soon as he was done reporting this Kotaku person. Surely. He's that outraged after all, so why limit his rage to the small fry at the bottom?

Against who? It’s not like Kotaku made the porn in the first place and good fucking luck figuring out who created the original.

I'm genuinely in favor of passing a law that mandates anyone who uses the word "triggered" in a leering way be marched straight into the ocean at gunpoint. The same motherfuckers that high five each other over how triggered snowflakes are spending millions of dollars on shirts and stickers because a black dude kneeled.

Still find it hard to believe the hype over a movie where the premise is "what if the true backstory of the joker was he was a clown that went crazy?"