~~ CEB Community Thread ~~

[Keyser_Soze]

Meh, that's an idea I've had for decades in the Sims. Except the bathroom was in the yard.

[Fizzzzle]

55 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

Meh, that's an idea I've had for decades in the Sims. Except the bathroom was in the yard.

Can't do it in The Sims 4 because other Sims will blatantly try to walk up and talk to them while they're dropping a deuce, then you can't do anything with that Sim for fucking ever because they're too embarrassed to do anything other than watch TV (or drink water. They always want to fucking drink water and leave their glasses everywhere and then complain that their house is messy)

 

Anyway, I stayed at a place in Mexico last year that had an open bathroom. I think I've also stayed at places in southeast Asia with open bathrooms, I can't particularly remember where.

 

It honestly wasn't a big deal, but I tried not to think about all the shit particles that got launched all over my bed every time I took a shit. Also, I hope you're very comfortable with who else is in your place.

[CitizenVectron]

Is it transphobic to say you would not date a trans woman if she still had male genitalia (and you are straight/cishet male)?

 

There was a discussion on resetera about the "super straight" movement that right-wing people are talking about (guys that will only date women who were born as women), and it got into the discussion of if it's transphobic to say you'd not date a trans woman/man because they are trans. I agree that it's transphobic to say "I would never date a trans women/man," but I don't think it's transphobic (and maybe I am wrong) to say you don't prefer specific genitalia. I would date someone who completely transitioned, and who I was attracted to. Anyway, I have been banned for 30 days as a result of my view.

 

A bunch of people were banned for "excusing transphobia" for similar comments. IMO, it is fine to have a preference for body parts. Otherwise, it would be homophobic to say that I, as a cishet man, would never date a guy. To me, sexual preference can rely on a lot of things. Overall body shape is one (preferring a feminine form w/ hips, breasts, etc), and then genitalia is another. So someone might be attracted to someone with a (traditional) male or female body, but with non-matching (traditional) genitalia, while others might not be. 

 

I was also attacked for being "boring/unimaginative" for saying that genitalia matters for sexual pleasure (for me). The implication was that penetrative sex isn't necessary (which I agree with, for many!), but for me, I want p in v sex. 

 

Normally I am 100% in favour of resetera's hard-line stance of stamping out transphobia or any other phobia/ism...but in this case, I was having a good-faith discussion about my own preferences, but was then banned for it. I don't think I am wrong/out of line...but maybe I am!

[Chris-]

It is not and your thoughts on the matter are entirely reasonable. 

[Jason]

5 minutes ago, CitizenVectron said:

Is it transphobic to say you would not date a trans woman if she still had male genitalia (and you are straight/cishet male)?

 

There was a discussion on resetera about the "super straight" movement that right-wing people are talking about (guys that will only date women who were born as women), and it got into the discussion of if it's transphobic to say you'd not date a trans woman/man because they are trans. I agree that it's transphobic to say "I would never date a trans women/man," but I don't think it's transphobic (and maybe I am wrong) to say you don't prefer specific genitalia. I would date someone who completely transitioned, and who I was attracted to. Anyway, I have been banned for 30 days as a result of my view.

 

A bunch of people were banned for "excusing transphobia" for similar comments. IMO, it is fine to have a preference for body parts. Otherwise, it would be homophobic to say that I, as a cishet man, would never date a guy. To me, sexual preference can rely on a lot of things. Overall body shape is one (preferring a feminine form w/ hips, breasts, etc), and then genitalia is another. So someone might be attracted to someone with a (traditional) male or female body, but with non-matching (traditional) genitalia, while others might not be. 

 

I was also attacked for being "boring/unimaginative" for saying that genitalia matters for sexual pleasure (for me). The implication was that penetrative sex isn't necessary (which I agree with, for many!), but for me, I want p in v sex. 

 

Normally I am 100% in favour of resetera's hard-line stance of stamping out transphobia or any other phobia/ism...but in this case, I was having a good-faith discussion about my own preferences, but was then banned for it. I don't think I am wrong/out of line...but maybe I am!

 

There comes a point where trans people's right to be treated as their desired gender bumps up against other people's sexual autonomy rights and I don't know exactly where that line is but sexy times is definitely on the wrong side of that line.

[Keyser_Soze]

20 minutes ago, CitizenVectron said:

 Anyway, I have been banned for 30 days as a result of my view.

 

Welcome to ResetEra/GAF!

 

Also, I don't think it's unreasonable to say such a thing because when it comes to attraction it's a very personal thing. Like if you said you only wanted to date a black woman or didn't want to date a black woman, it wouldn't make you racist.

[Kal-El814]

20 minutes ago, Jason said:

There comes a point where trans people's right to be treated as their desired gender bumps up against other people's sexual autonomy rights and I don't know exactly where that line is but sexy times is definitely on the wrong side of that line.

 

My impression from reading a lot of stuff written by trans people is that the “trans panic” scenario where someone gets surprised by genitals that they’re not expecting during a hookup essentially never happens. Don’t mean to suggest that’s what you’re implying, but there seems to be an awful lot of “fear” from some people about something that’s not really an actual concern.

 

26 minutes ago, CitizenVectron said:

Normally I am 100% in favour of resetera's hard-line stance of stamping out transphobia or any other phobia/ism...but in this case, I was having a good-faith discussion about my own preferences, but was then banned for it. I don't think I am wrong/out of line...but maybe I am!

 

I wouldn’t blame any place for taking a hard line stand on this stuff, especially when the foot in the door is the Super Straight stuff which is obviously done in bad faith.

[Jason]

1 minute ago, Kal-El814 said:

My impression from reading a lot of stuff written by trans people is that the “trans panic” scenario where someone gets surprised by genitals that they’re not expecting during a hookup essentially never happens. Don’t mean to suggest that’s what you’re implying, but there seems to be an awful lot of “fear” from some people about something that’s not really an actual concern.

 

I wasn't even thinking about the trans panic scenario. Was just going with Riley's premise that it's not transphobic to not want to hook up with a trans woman who still has a penis (I also don't think it's transphobic even if they now have a vagina).

[Chris-]

That post-op business is probably tight as fuck so I’d be down. 

[Fizzzzle]

Something like this came up at my work recently when one of my coworkers said she's only into dating white guys, and another coworker said she's racist for it. Who someone is attracted to is a matter of subjectivity that is none of anyone else's business.

 

I am not attracted to people with penises. That does not make me transphobic. Just as when people say they're attracted to Asians or whatever doesn't make them racist (at least not necessarily). You like what you like, you can't tell someone they're wrong for not being attracted to someone.

 

Unless it's Jason Momoa. You are wrong for not being attracted to Jason Momoa.

[marioandsonic]

Yeah, I'll be honest:  I'm for Trans rights and everything, but I probably would not date someone who is trans.

[Guest]

Nobody has any control over who or what they are sexually attracted to. There certainly could be reasons to write off a group of people that would be racist, but that would be separate from what your brain chemistry pushes towards

[Anathema-]

Not to get too far off topic but every time I sautee fresh garlic and onion in butter I'm amazed at how good it smells. I never ever get tired of it. 

[Anathema-]

And yes I'm on the side of "be attracted to who you're attracted to" and I'd follow that up with not worrying about setting boundaries too hard or you'll find yourself with some long sessions of the can't-sleeps when you find a girl you think is hot and then find out she's got a dick. 

[Jason]

9 minutes ago, Anathema- said:

Not to get too far off topic but every time I sautee fresh garlic and onion in butter I'm amazed at how good it smells. I never ever get tired of it. 

 

@GeneticBlueprint

[CitizenVectron]

20 minutes ago, Anathema- said:

Not to get too far off topic but every time I sautee fresh garlic and onion in butter I'm amazed at how good it smells. I never ever get tired of it. 

 

I think it's probably the most appetizing smell in the kitchen. 👍

[Anathema-]

I wish it was easier to snap a picture and share it because this roast is going to be amazing. I understand the flashy dazzle of the TV dinner craze in my youth but I think just chopping up some veggies and browning the meat is so easy and tastes a million times better and it's cheaper too. 

[Anathema-]

Of course the Dutch oven does most of the work.

[CitizenVectron]

I make a good red beans and rice (I know, I know, a Canadian making that?), and the best part is when I throw the garlic, onion, celery, and peppers into some oil in the dutch over. The kitchen smells awesome for the next few hours as it cooks and simmers.

 

Biggest issue with red beans and rice here is that we don't have a lot of smoked pork (need a good smoked hock). So I usually make it just with some hot sausage sliced in, but no extra pork.

[Anathema-]

1 minute ago, CitizenVectron said:

Biggest issue with red beans and rice here is that we don't have a lot of smoked pork (need a good smoked hock). So I usually make it just with some hot sausage sliced in, but no extra pork.

 

move to virginia 

[Joe]

7 minutes ago, Anathema- said:

I wish it was easier to snap a picture and share it because this roast is going to be amazing. I understand the flashy dazzle of the TV dinner craze in my youth but I think just chopping up some veggies and browning the meat is so easy and tastes a million times better and it's cheaper too. 

 

I don't know what this means, but I wish to learn.

[CitizenVectron]

1 minute ago, Anathema- said:

 

move to virginia 

 

I don't know that I need smoked hock that much. 

 

My wife and I got married during the pandemic (just us and officiant), and we had to cancel our planned honeymoon to Croatia/Italy. Instead, we're going to tour the Maritime provinces of Canada next year, and probably Vancouver/Victoria on the other coast, as well. After that, we are thinking of maybe doing a food tour of the southern states. We love southern BBQ (fortunately we do have a good BBQ food truck scene here in the summer), and it would be fun to just gain 20lbs over a few weeks eating brisket and pulled pork.

[b_m_b_m_b_m]

2 minutes ago, CitizenVectron said:

 

I don't know that I need smoked hock that much. 

 

My wife and I got married during the pandemic (just us and officiant), and we had to cancel our planned honeymoon to Croatia/Italy. Instead, we're going to tour the Maritime provinces of Canada next year, and probably Vancouver/Victoria on the other coast, as well. After that, we are thinking of maybe doing a food tour of the southern states. We love southern BBQ (fortunately we do have a good BBQ food truck scene here in the summer), and it would be fun to just gain 20lbs over a few weeks eating brisket and pulled pork.

If you're going to do a culinary tour of the south, if you don't hit Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA, and New Orleans you did it wrong, btw. Top three southern food cities, but it's more than just bbq

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, b_m_b_m_b_m said:

If you're going to do a culinary tour of the south, if you don't hit Charleston, SC, Savannah, GA, and New Orleans you did it wrong, btw. Top three southern food cities, but it's more than just bbq

I gained 20 pounds just thinking about my week in Charleston a few years back

[Anathema-]

13 minutes ago, Joe said:

 

I don't know what this means, but I wish to learn.

 

Oh did you not do much with the ultra-convenience/low taste quality microwave meal thing of the late 80's/early 90's? I'd say you're lucky but I see some ads of some company trying to hock neuevo tv dinners with the ad line "we don't have to cook anymore!"  Do not fall for it. 

[Anathema-]

An extra 45 minutes making food every night is a better use of that 45 minutes than just about anything in the world I tell you what. 

[b_m_b_m_b_m]

1 minute ago, sblfilms said:

I gained 20 pounds just thinking about my week in Charleston a few years back

It's the first place my wife and I are going after she gives birth. Dropping the kids off at my mom's and spending some time there.

[Joe]

9 minutes ago, Anathema- said:

 

Oh did you not do much with the ultra-convenience/low taste quality microwave meal thing of the late 80's/early 90's? I'd say you're lucky but I see some ads of some company trying to hock neuevo tv dinners with the ad line "we don't have to cook anymore!"  Do not fall for it. 

 

Ah, now I gotcha. My youth was a little different because my dad was an OG food snob before food snobbery was trendy. Hungry-Man dinners, Hot Pockets, and Chunky soups were seen as contraband delicacies for much of my adolescence lol. Then I hit my early 20's, learned how to cook, worked in NYC, and realized he was right all along. It was quite the epiphany!

[Anathema-]

34 minutes ago, Joe said:

 

Ah, now I gotcha. My youth was a little different because my dad was an OG food snob before food snobbery was trendy. Hungry-Man dinners, Hot Pockets, and Chunky soups were seen as contraband delicacies for much of my adolescence lol. Then I hit my early 20's, learned how to cook, worked in NYC, and realized he was right all along. It was quite the epiphany!

 

I'm just constantly surprised at how often "knowing how to cook" means nothing more than taking the time to chop some stuff up. 

 

Which isn't to say that it's a negligible amount of time for everybody. I wish a had more free time but I still get enough. Everyone should be at least as lucky as me. 

[GeneticBlueprint]

On 2/23/2021 at 6:53 PM, b_m_b_m_b_m said:

Leaning towards moving on to the new job. In addition to what @Jasonsaid above, the new company has more opportunities (and now) whereas my current one keeps saying basically "well in 6-12 months we might be able to start up this major project but it will be essentially maintaining the course until then" which sounds pretty awful given that the last couple months I haven't had to do a whole lot though there are open projects that I'm on. I've been getting phenomenal reviews so I must be doing something right but it's a recipe to get screwed if I do get axed in 6-12 months.

 

 

 

What did you end up doing/deciding?

 

I just got a job offer doing exactly what I'm doing now but for quite a bit more money. And benefits that are pretty much 1:1 in terms of quality, but the new company takes on a bigger share of the cost. So I feel like my quality of life would go up a little. Also it's a mile from my house. I could literally bike or walk there every day when it's time to go back to the office whereas I currently either have to drive 20 min or bike -> bus -> train -> bike to the office (40 min). But my dilemma is that my current company offers a lot of individual growth. I feel like I've been learning a lot and progressing towards becoming a software developer which is my end goal. I don't know if that will be the same at the new place. And you should never feel bad about leaving a job for more money... I do kind of feel bad because my current company:

 

• Hired me when I had no actual experience doing what I currently do; just lots of theoretical knowledge
• Hired me for more than I asked for
• Has given me two raises in less than two years, one of which was sizable
• Good bosses that teach me a ton and want me to progress
• Free lunch (when not in pandemic times)
   

I guess I just feel no animosity towards the institution or any of its individual contributors. Which is the complete opposite of every other job I've ever left where it was for feeling stagnated and hating the institution and its members. So that's giving me pause when all the numbers say I should just move on.

[Jason]

How long have you been with the current company @GeneticBlueprint?

 

Also you could always go to them and tell them about the other offer and ask if they can match it to keep you.

[GeneticBlueprint]

4 minutes ago, Jason said:

How long have you been with the current company @GeneticBlueprint?

 

Also you could always go to them and tell them about the other offer and ask if they can match it to keep you.

 

That's my plan. I don't think they will though. I've been with the current company since August of 2019.

[Jason]

4 minutes ago, GeneticBlueprint said:

That's my plan. I don't think they will though. I've been with the current company since August of 2019.

 

Eh, it's close enough to two years that I think it's fine if you wind up jumping ship.

[b_m_b_m_b_m]

20 minutes ago, GeneticBlueprint said:

 

What did you end up doing/deciding?

 

I just got a job offer doing exactly what I'm doing now but for quite a bit more money. And benefits that are pretty much 1:1 in terms of quality, but the new company takes on a bigger share of the cost. So I feel like my quality of life would go up a little. Also it's a mile from my house. I could literally bike or walk there every day when it's time to go back to the office where as I currently either have to drive 20 min or bike -> bus -> train -> bike to the office (40 min). But my dilemma is that my current company offers a lot of individual growth. I feel like I've been learning a lot and progressing towards becoming a software developer which is my end goal. I don't know if that will be the same at the new place. And you should never feel bad about leaving a job for more money... I do kind of feel bad because my current company:

 

• Hired me when I had no actual experience doing what I currently do, just lots of theoretical knowledge
• Hired me for more than I asked for
• Has given me two raises in less than two years, one of which was sizable
• Good bosses that teach me a ton and want me to progress
• Free lunch (when not in pandemic times)
   

I guess I just feel no animosity towards the institution or any of its individual contributors. Which is the complete opposite of every other job I've ever left where it was for feeling stagnated and hating the institution and its members. So that's giving me pause when all the numbers say I should just move on.

That's how I felt when I left (I did end up leaving) it's not like my first job out of college where I was just "lol see ya folks" because it was a shitty company and low pay. It is a bit of a slowly sinking ship and I wanted out to not get stuck long term

[GeneticBlueprint]

11 minutes ago, b_m_b_m_b_m said:

That's how I felt when I left (I did end up leaving) it's not like my first job out of college where I was just "lol see ya folks" because it was a shitty company and low pay. It is a bit of a slowly sinking ship and I wanted out to not get stuck long term

 

How are you liking the new job?

 

And are you me? My first job out of college was my previous job. I felt stuck and like I wasn't progressing. And the company has been around for almost 20 years but they still act like they're a startup. The CEO's job seems like it was only to get funding from VCs. Like, how long are we going to go like this? Slowly sinking ship indeed.