Did your parents spank you as a child?

[stepee]

My mom had this huge spoon they would hang on the wall called Mean Mr Spoon and she would threaten us with mean mr spoon or fake chase us with him but not a lot of actual spanking. I think maybe I did have a light pointless spanking once or twice at most, I think for the most part my parents were both just too lazy to go through the motions of the spanking process.

[TheLeon]

no because I was a good little boy

[Fizzzzle]

My mom would hit. My dad rarely did (at least to me - I remember one time he dragged my brother upstairs by the neck and then beat the shit out of him

 

It was basically (from my mom) "I'll hit you gently, behave or I'll get dad to hit you, and he won't be gentle."

 

The threat of violence from my dad was enough even though he rarely used it. I can only remember one time where he hit me, I think I was like 4. I didn't forget it, clearly.

 

It sounds stupid. My dad thinks it was stupid now. That was just how they grew up. Beat your kids into submission.

[Mr.Vic20]

Oh god yes and so much more. 

[Bacon]

Yup

[Fizzzzle]

(also I resisted the urge to say "no, but your mom spanks me every night.")

[CastlevaniaNut18]

Yes. My mom was abusive. I've talked about it on here before. She had this fiberglass board she'd take to my legs or just backhand me across the face if I smart mouthed her.

 

My dad just used a belt. Put your hands on the table, 2-3 licks, that was that.

 

I'll never forget what I went through with my mom. We're in a better place overall these days, but it still hangs over me.

[Nokra]

On a couple of occasions, yes, including with a wooden spoon. They've since said they didn't think it was the right move. In my case, I don't hold it against them: I recognize that they were behaving how their parents taught them (though obviously this doesn't excuse it), and they've recognized that it wasn't the best way and they only used it very rarely. 

[Keyser_Soze]

My mom once because I ran away at a grocery store or did something stupid. I know it was one time because I always jokingly say she spanked me and she always says, "that was one time!"

[stepee]

2 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

My mom would hit. My dad rarely did (at least to me - I remember one time he dragged my brother upstairs by the neck and then beat the shit out of him

 

It was basically (from my mom) "I'll hit you gently, behave or I'll get dad to hit you, and he won't be gentle."

 

The threat of violence from my dad was enough even though he rarely used it. I can only remember one time where he hit me, I think I was like 4. I didn't forget it, clearly.

 

It sounds stupid. My dad thinks it was stupid now. That was just how they grew up. Beat your kids into submission.

 

I was just looking and I’m surprised how common spanking still is, about 35% from this study a few years ago: 

Spanking has declined in America, study finds, but pediatricians worry about impact of pandemic - CNN

AMP.CNN.COM

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Spanking declined in the United States between 1993 and 2017, but pediatricians worry the stress of the pandemic may increase violence against children in some households.

 

 

And more surprised that there are still schools out there openly hitting children to the point they need medical care:

 

'Matilda' Spotlights an Unsettling Truth: Spanking in Schools Is Still Pervasive in the U.S. - Ms. Magazine

MSMAGAZINE.COM

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Don’t be so quick to dismiss Matilda as fiction. Corporal punishment is still practiced in schools nationwide and is legal in 19 U.S. states.

[CastlevaniaNut18]

I remember corporal punishment was in my school, but only for the guys. Girls just got detention or suspended, I guess.

[Remarkableriots]

My parents spanked me a couple times growing up when I was very young. I remember my principal using a wooden paddle when I got into trouble in grade school.

[gamer.tv]

Yes, but never premeditated or anything like that. Just a tired parent that had enough of a twatty child. 

[Fizzzzle]

There's a toxic idea that showing affection instills weakness. Don't spoil your kids because they won't work hard, etc. While that can be true, it's far more common that kids who grew up with parents who "spoiled" them grow up to be successful. Encourage your kids when they show interest in something. Doesn't matter what it is. When kids are encouraged to do productive things rather than punished for doing unproductive things, there are better results.

 

Ruling through fear of punishment ensures that people do the bare minimum. Encouragement through love makes people want to do the maximum. That doesn't just apply to children.

[unogueen]

My parents never touched my butt to the best of my knowledge.

[b_m_b_m_b_m]

9 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

There's a toxic idea that showing affection instills weakness. Don't spoil your kids because they won't work hard, etc. While that can be true, it's far more common that kids who grew up with parents who "spoiled" them grow up to be successful. Encourage your kids when they show interest in something. Doesn't matter what it is. When kids are encouraged to do productive things rather than punished for doing unproductive things, there are better results.

 

Ruling through fear of punishment ensures that people do the bare minimum. Encouragement through love makes people want to do the maximum. That doesn't just apply to children.

Not just that but as a kid your first instinct when hurt or scared or anything like that is to go to your parents. It’s a very hardwired reaction. So what happens when the person causing your fear and pain and hurt is your parent? Your developing brain doesn’t know what to do!

 

but the more and more I parent my kids the more I’ve come to realize that my issues become those of my children. Behavior problems (assuming sufficient executive function and “normal” mental, physical, and emotional development) are a reflection of self and the only way to truly correct these behaviors and help your child grow is to work on yourself first (and for yourself not others) while being deliberate about how you talk and act around and to your kids especially when they need you (which is often when they have these “undesirable” behaviors)
 

like I only got spanked once that I can recall but I grew up under the eye of the church as my dad was a minister for most of my childhood so there’s been a lot that I’ve had to work on that I didn’t realize until I had kids

[best3444]

My dad would hit us with his belt...buckle side too. My mom would use a spoon. 

 

I went to a catholic school so the nuns would hit us, too. I look back and all of it was abuse. 

[unogueen]

My dad drew blood tho. Good cue to get the fuck out.

[Keyser_Soze]

22 hours ago, unogueen said:

My parents never touched my butt to the best of my knowledge.

 

7 minutes ago, unogueen said:

My dad drew blood tho. Good cue to get the fuck out.

 

Just not out of your butt.

[unogueen]

6 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

 

 

Just not out of your butt.

Thankfully.

[AlwaysDyingX]

My dad would hit us with his belt.. My mom would use a hanger. 

 

I went to a catholic school so the nuns would hit us, too. I look back and I deserved all of it. 

 

 

More kids today should get hit imo 

[AlwaysDyingX]

As soon as someone says " oh, I would never hit my kid" I immediately think cool its your kid that will be breaking into my car for loose change. 

[best3444]

18 minutes ago, BasemntDweller2 said:

My dad would hit us with his belt.. My mom would use a hanger. 

 

I went to a catholic school so the nuns would hit us, too. I look back and I deserved all of it. 

 

 

More kids today should get hit imo 

 

I probably did deserve the abuse because my twin brother and I were out of fuckin control. Both at home and in school.

[AbsolutSurgen]

Yes.  But VERY rarely, and only when we were very young -- my mother had a wooden spoon on the knuckles, and my dad had the "magic finger", which was a flick to the side of the head.  Very minor stuff. 

[Brian]

I got hit a couple of times when I pushed my parents to the limits. 

 

I don’t plan on ever hitting my daughter, but I can’t say for certain it won’t happen. My wife and I have been together for 12 years and we have only fought 3 times. Each time, it was when we were both stressed, tired, and unable to recognize the fact.  If the perfect storm happens, I can see it as a possibility. I really hope it never happens. 

[AlwaysDyingX]

30 minutes ago, Brian said:

I got hit a couple of times when I pushed my parents to the limits. 

 

I don’t plan on ever hitting my daughter, but I can’t say for certain it won’t happen. My wife and I have been together for 12 years and we have only fought 3 times. Each time, it was when we were both stressed, tired, and unable to recognize the fact.  If the perfect storm happens, I can see it as a possibility. I really hope it never happens. 

 

 

I dont recall my daughter getting hit ever, maybe once when she was older? She was a good kid unlike my stepson. Boys are so much worse lol. 

[AlwaysDyingX]

On 7/23/2023 at 1:03 AM, Fizzzzle said:

 

 

Ruling through fear of punishment ensures that people do the bare minimum. Encouragement through love makes people want to do the maximum. That doesn't just apply to children.

 

 

Do you mean teaching there are consequences to your actions?  You can encourage AND teach. What a novel idea. 

[Biggie]

[CastlevaniaNut18]

The research is pretty abundant now that hitting your kids is detrimental. There’s really no excuse these days. You can discipline them without hitting them and they can turn out just fine. 

[b_m_b_m_b_m]

37 minutes ago, CastlevaniaNut18 said:

The research is pretty abundant now that hitting your kids is detrimental. There’s really no excuse these days. You can discipline them without hitting them and they can turn out just fine. 

The people who think it’s ok have no concept of “authoritative” parenting and often think there are only two types of parenting: permissive (no boundaries or natural consequences) and authoritarian (which often involves hitting)