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Dear everyone who uses work IM

stepee

By stepee
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stepee

stepee

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Posted

Don’t say Hi as a separate message and then start typing what you want to say. Either don’t say hi at all or include the Hi in the message you mean to send.

 

I hate getting a message and then having to sit there and wait for the thing people want to communicate watching the little bubble move as they type. Or at least type super fucking quick if the Hi has to be a separate message!

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TheShader

TheShader

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This goes for any kind of messaging, to be honest. I've had people that will text 'Hey' and then wait for my response before saying what they want. It's infuriating. And they always take forever between responses.

 

Friend: Hey

 

Me: Hey, what's up, need something?

 

*20 minutes later*

 

Friend: What are you up to?

 

Me: Not much at the moment, why?

 

*35 minutes later*

 

Friend: Was just wanting to ask you something

 

Me: Sure, what is it!?

 

*45 minutes later*

 

Friend: Was wondering if you wanted to catch lunch today?

 

Me: WELL IF YOU HAD ASKED THAT IN THE FIRST TEXT, BUT NOW IT'S 12:30 SO I ALREADY GRABBED FOOD FOR LUNCH 10 MINUTES AGO SO NO

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stepee

stepee

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1 hour ago, TheShader said:

This goes for any kind of messaging, to be honest. I've had people that will text 'Hey' and then wait for my response before saying what they want. It's infuriating. And they always take forever between responses.

 

Friend: Hey

 

Me: Hey, what's up, need something?

 

*20 minutes later*

 

Friend: What are you up to?

 

Me: Not much at the moment, why?

 

*35 minutes later*

 

Friend: Was just wanting to ask you something

 

Me: Sure, what is it!?

 

*45 minutes later*

 

Friend: Was wondering if you wanted to catch lunch today?

 

Me: WELL IF YOU HAD ASKED THAT IN THE FIRST TEXT, BUT NOW IT'S 12:30 SO I ALREADY GRABBED FOOD FOR LUNCH 10 MINUTES AGO SO NO

 

Yes that is true! It’s infuriating! 

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SuperSpreader

SuperSpreader

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4 hours ago, stepee said:

Don’t say Hi as a separate message and then start typing what you want to say. Either don’t say hi at all or include the Hi in the message you mean to send.

 

I hate getting a message and then having to sit there and wait for the thing people want to communicate watching the little bubble move as they type. Or at least type super fucking quick if the Hi has to be a separate message!

 

You know.. it's to make sure there isn't someone at your desk who you may not want to read the message.

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Derek

Derek

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5 hours ago, Ominous said:

It gives me time to look them up and realize that they are probably going to ask me a stupid question.

Exactly. That's why I always try to include the stupid question(s) right after the greeting. Like... 'Hi. Do you like cameras and video games?' 

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SmugPrick

SmugPrick

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Posted
On 3/28/2023 at 1:26 PM, stepee said:

Don’t say Hi as a separate message and then start typing what you want to say. Either don’t say hi at all or include the Hi in the message you mean to send.

 

I hate getting a message and then having to sit there and wait for the thing people want to communicate watching the little bubble move as they type. Or at least type super fucking quick if the Hi has to be a separate message!

How hard is it to just tell people how you prefer to be communicated to?

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stepee

stepee

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2 hours ago, SmugPrick said:

lol I tell them straight up. Some love to teams call me...NO - fucking type it out. I have a lot of irons in the fire and dont want to listen to your shit. 

 

I don’t see why I would do that when passive aggressiveness is right THERE

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legend

legend

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Fortunately no one at my work does that. But I have had people I don't really know on Discord DM me because they know of me from an AI server and want to ask me something but all they send his "Hi" and wait for me to respond before sending anything more. It feels like a trap so that once I respond they feel they'll have my attention to dive into some really long and ill-defined question that I won't really want to respond to. Like "how come my RL agent isn't learning?" I dunno, because you did it wrong? Debug it or do some data analysis for Christ sake. I don't know anything about you, nor what you're doing and I'm not going to download your code and debug it myself for you. Ask a specific fucking question or don't bother. Or, if one more person wants to tell me about this really "novel" idea they have to apply RL to market trading but they just need some one to do all the work for them even though they're being told it's a terrible idea for a million reasons, I'm going to gouge someone's eyes out.

 

I guess this thread stirred something in me.

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Ghost_MH

Ghost_MH

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10 hours ago, legend said:

It feels like a trap so that once I respond they feel they'll have my attention to dive into some really long and ill-defined question that I won't really want to respond to.

 

This happens to me all the time. The trick is to stop feeling bad about ignoring people. If you don't have time to engage, you just say you don't, and move on without an ounce of guilt.

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GeneticBlueprint

GeneticBlueprint

Posted
Posted
On 3/28/2023 at 12:26 PM, stepee said:

Don’t say Hi as a separate message and then start typing what you want to say. Either don’t say hi at all or include the Hi in the message you mean to send.

 

I hate getting a message and then having to sit there and wait for the thing people want to communicate watching the little bubble move as they type. Or at least type super fucking quick if the Hi has to be a separate message!

 

What's even worse is when they are like waiting for you to acknowledge their salutation. I ignore those messages.

 

PSA: Use this template for a work IM. Adjust for how familiar you are with the person.

 

"Hi [person I need something from]. I'm [your name] from the [X] Team. I am currently working on [short description of your current task/project]. I'm stuck on [detailed yet concise description of your issue/blocker]. I've been pointed in your direction for help with this. Is this something you can help me resolve? Or can you direct me to somebody you feel is the right person to ask? Thanks in advance."

 

Don't say hi in a separate message. Don't small talk. Be prepared to wait for hours for them to respond to you. If it's been a few days, you can kindly follow up with something like "Sorry to bother about this. Just following up on my previous message if you're able to help."

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Kal-El814

Kal-El814

Posted
Posted
On 3/28/2023 at 7:04 PM, SuperSpreader said:

You know.. it's to make sure there isn't someone at your desk who you may not want to read the message.

 

It's 100% this. Makes much less sense to do it with everyone being remote but people are smooth brained and don't lock their PCs when they walk away from their desk. I've seen too much appalling shit on idle, unlocked screens while walking past cubes to ever lead with anything other than just a salutation. 

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Kal-El814

Kal-El814

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Posted
1 hour ago, stepee said:

I mean if it’s something private okay, but if it’s just asking me a basic tech question or about their assignment what does it even matter if someone else is there?

 

If someone's casting their screen a zoom or whatever, an "intro" message also gives them cover to hide the app / preview before something's blasted to god knows who.

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