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Boston College student who texted ‘go die’ to boyfriend charged in suicide (she sent him more than 780 texts a day)

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A former Boston College student who police say sent her boyfriend more than 780 text messages a day — many telling him to “go die” and “go kill” himself — has been charged with manslaughter after 22-year-old Alexander Urtula committed suicide just two hours before he was set to graduate from BC.



Police determined You was “physically, verbally and psychologically abusive” toward Urtula after an investigation of his phone following his death, Rollins said. The couple exchanged more than 75,000 text messages — 47,000 from You — in the two months leading up to the suicide where You allegedly told her boyfriend to “go die” and to “kill himself” thousands of times, Rollins said.





“Many of the messages clearly display the power dynamic in the relationship wherein Ms. You made demands and threatens with the understanding that she had complete and total control over Mr. Urtula both mentally and emotionally,” Rollins said.


You used threats of self-harm to control Urtula and the investigation revealed her manipulation escalated prior to Urtula’s suicide, Rollins said.


“It also found that she was aware of his spiraling depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse yet she persisted, continuing to encourage him to take his own life,” Rollins said.






You is currently in Korea, but officials said they are “cautiously optimistic” that she will voluntarily return to Boston to face the involuntary manslaughter charge. If she does not, authorities will pursue other avenues to have her extradited back.


If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting 'Home' to 741741.


If you or someone you know has been affected by domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.


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