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I might get laid tonight and have the jitters

Fizzzzle

By Fizzzzle
in The Shower

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Fizzzzle

Fizzzzle

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I've been seeing this girl recently, and it didn't start romantic. We've known each other for a while, it's just over the last month-6 weeks or so it's gradually gone from just hanging out to, like, "hanging out."

 

Tonight (well for me tomorrow night, it's 2:45am where I'm at) kind of feels like the night that it's going to happen. I think we're both kind of at that point. We're going to meet up, take her dog to the park, then probably go to a bar right by her apartment to play some pool. and then...?

 

I'm not used to this. In a way I kind of prefer just hooking up on the first date, just because you get that awkwardness of hooking up with someone for the first time out of the way when there's not really any pressure. This time I feel my brain going "what if you suck? What if you can't get it up? What if she's disappointed? etc" and I'm like the anxiety surely isn't going to help things.

 

I guess it's my only comfort to know that she's probably feeling similar things.

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Fizzzzle

Fizzzzle

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14 minutes ago, Mr.Vic20 said:

You will be fine, just don't make your avatars "O" face and you'll do great! :sun:

"make my avatar's O face..." got it, thanks for the tip.

 

5 minutes ago, Bacon said:

Think about it like this, if you don't get laid you won't be having sex and you presumably don't want that. 

Sometimes it feels better to not try at all than to try and fail.

 

 

It's just weird. Sex is usually (at least for me) something that happens like right at the beginning, before I've really had an opportunity to develop legitimate feelings for someone. The feelings come later. My ex and I were hooking up for like a solid 4-5 months before we had the "feelings" talk, and we ended up together for 3 years.

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Guest

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I don’t know anything about dating. My wife is literally the only person I ever dated and we had been friends for several years before we started going out.

 

Good luck, friend

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Fizzzzle

Fizzzzle

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26 minutes ago, Rachel said:


Yeah my comment was gonna be “it’s just sex, it’s not that big of a deal.”

That's what I'm saying, it's normally not. Normally when I start seeing someone, we just get the boinking out of the way immediately, no pressure. It's just that this time feels like there's been so much build up.

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Kamusha

Kamusha

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I find that having sex with the first time is easier with someone I know well than someone I don't. There is less to prove. She already likes you. Its nice to have great sex but it also doesn't have to be the main thing in any relationship. Just focus heavily on the foreplay and cuddling afterwards. That's the stuff that women typically care more about anyways, so even if the actual penetration isn't the best she'll still remember the other stuff more. And it's always good to have a sense of humor in the bedroom. If something goes wrong don't treat it as a big deal - just laugh it off. Sex is weird and awkward and the less serious you make it the easier it'll be for the both of you.

 

Best of luck!

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Rev

Rev

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10 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

"I saw you naked and my penis went completely flaccid, but only because I'm nervous."

The more popular tactic is to get a bit drunk. Not only does it reduce the anxiety, but if you still have performance issues, you can blame the alcohol! But otherwise, you could just focus more on foreplay like Komusha said and tell her afterward that you were nervous because you like her a lot and got caught up in your head worrying about it.

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Brian

Brian

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2 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

"I saw you naked and my penis went completely flaccid, but only because I'm nervous."

Wow. Flaccid dick from nerves is something you only battle when you are a teen.  You are overthinking this big time.  Anticipation should be heightening this experience not dampening it. 
 

At this rate, I would put down $100 that you blurt out “I love you” in the middle of sex. 

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Fizzzzle

Fizzzzle

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1 minute ago, ManUtdRedDevils said:

Wow. Flaccid dick from nerves is something you only battle when you are a teen.  You are overthinking this big time.  Anticipation should be heightening this experience not dampening it. 
 

At this rate, I would put down $100 that you blurt out “I love you” in the middle of sex. 

I'm not used to overthinking it, I just am this time. Probably because it's the first time in a long time that I'm going to sleep with someone for the first time where it isn't a spur of the moment thing in a way, so I have time to think about it. Normally the first time I have sex with someone, I don't really know it's going to happen beforehand, it just kind of happens. This time it's like there's been a build up that I haven't experienced since I was in high school.

 

I'll let you kniow what I blurt out.

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Brick

Brick

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12 hours ago, sblfilms said:

I don’t know anything about dating. My wife is literally the only person I ever dated and we had been friends for several years before we started going out.

 

Good luck, friend

 

Really, you never dated anyone else, not even for a couple dates or anything? That's actually kind of sweet. How long have you two been together? 

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16 minutes ago, Brick said:

 

Really, you never dated anyone else, not even for a couple dates or anything? That's actually kind of sweet. How long have you two been together? 


Yup, literally the only girl I ever dated. Never even asked a girl out before my wife. I was pretty busy in high school trying to save my parent’s business (they got way behind on taxes, IRS was coming hard for them) and the idea of dating just wasn’t appealing.

 

At my graduation party, my now wife was invited by my mom and we hung out a bit during that. Over the next few months we ran into each other at a few events and chatted more. Around December we started going on actual dates, and by March we were engaged and we got married in November.

 

So coming up on our 17th anniversary. I’ve been married only slightly less time than I’ve been not married at this point. Getting married, especially young, isn’t for everybody. But it was definitely a “when you know, you know” situation for me. My wife is legit the kindest person I’ve ever known, incredibly caring and compassionate, and she gets me to a degree that nobody else does.

 

She is my best friend and the person I would always rather be with.

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