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Any of you guys on a dating app?

best3444

By best3444
in The Shower

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best3444

best3444

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I recently signed up for eharmony and plenty of fish. It's costly but in my current position it's worth the money for the time being. 

 

What I noticed is that POF is much more active with women who are much more aggressive and outgoing. 

 

I've already made solid connections and have a date lined up next week for a causal lunch. 

 

She's 37 and beautiful but does have a 5 yr old daughter. That's not a deal breaker but it's not exactly ideal for me either. 

 

We have been chatting a lot and she also enjoys gaming. I'm pretty nervous but excited too because it's time for me to find a companion and get my life rolling.

 

Any tips for me for my first date?

 

BTW, the girl I was into at work is hitting on me again and we went for a walk at lunch yesterday. I don't want to ruin her relationship and I will have to distance myself from her slowly but surely. I have a few more prospects from coworkers that can set me up too. 

 

Any advice?

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TUFKAK

TUFKAK

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Not anymore, but I used several in my before life.

 

As far as advice, what legit worked the best for me was just being upfront and manifesting the devil may care attitude. It helps when you not only learn, but believe, there will always be another girl so you don’t put pressure on yourself. 
 

like oh this isn’t working, oh well on to the next.

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Fizzzzle

Fizzzzle

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Don't try to be clever when you match with someone. Just get to the point. I stopped trying to drop lines a long time ago, I just say "hey you wanna get coffee/a drink at [x]?" Trying to get too clever when you match with someone just makes you seem like a try-hard or a douchebag.

 

I find it weird that online dating apps were kind of invented to get people to do the feather-dance bullshit, yet after a short amount of time, that's what it became. In my mind, we already matched with each other, let's just meet up and THEN we can see if we like each other. All of this pissing about with trying to think of funny one-liners was supposed to be a problem that dating apps solved.

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stepee

stepee

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Just now, Fizzzzle said:

Don't try to be clever when you match with someone. Just get to the point. I stopped trying to drop lines a long time ago, I just say "hey you wanna get coffee/a drink at [x]?" Trying to get too clever when you match with someone just makes you seem like a try-hard or a douchebag.

 

I find it weird that online dating apps were kind of invented to get people to do the feather-dance bullshit, yet after a short amount of time, that's what it became. In my mind, we already matched with each other, let's just meet up and THEN we can see if we like each other. All of this pissing about with trying to think of funny one-liners was supposed to be a problem that dating apps solved.

 

Sounds like someone just doesn’t have any good one-liners

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Fizzzzle

Fizzzzle

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1 minute ago, stepee said:

 

Sounds like someone just doesn’t have any good one-liners

Your sister thought I was very funny.

 

I dunno, I just don't care enough anymore to try to impress someone I haven't met yet, and I found that my success (in terms of # of dates from tinder matches) went up considerably when I just said something to the effect of "are you free tomorrow night?" rather than going through some courtship process to makes her think I'm funny before we've even met. And I think they get tired of it, too.

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stepee

stepee

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5 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

Your sister thought I was very funny.

 

I dunno, I just don't care enough anymore to try to impress someone I haven't met yet, and I found that my success (in terms of # of dates from tinder matches) went up considerably when I just said something to the effect of "are you free tomorrow night?" rather than going through some courtship process to makes her think I'm funny before we've even met. And I think they get tired of it, too.

 

Yeah, what you are saying is legit I was just ribbin ya lol

 

edit: Proof:  This advice is also written for you in a lot of women’s profiles lol

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TUFKAK

TUFKAK

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35 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

Don't try to be clever when you match with someone. Just get to the point. I stopped trying to drop lines a long time ago, I just say "hey you wanna get coffee/a drink at [x]?" Trying to get too clever when you match with someone just makes you seem like a try-hard or a douchebag.

 

I find it weird that online dating apps were kind of invented to get people to do the feather-dance bullshit, yet after a short amount of time, that's what it became. In my mind, we already matched with each other, let's just meet up and THEN we can see if we like each other. All of this pissing about with trying to think of funny one-liners was supposed to be a problem that dating apps solved.

I got to the point I was so bored with tinder I just straight up saying wanna fuck within a few messages. You’d be surprised how often that worked.

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best3444

best3444

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How random is it to get a message from an ex  gf on plenty of fish? I ended that relationship 3 years ago and last night she said hi how are you doing?

 

I'm kinda new to this but I didn't think you could litteraly reach out to a specific person that you know?

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AlwaysDyingX

AlwaysDyingX

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Best advice I can give is be super cautious on any free dating sites. Plenty of catfish on them. You'll find a better quality person on pay sites. 

 

Also most likely the person will have kids. You might as well accept that fact. 

 

Lastly, keep convos in person upbeat and positive. You've had a lot of shit happen the past few years, best not to unload all that at first. 

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stepee

stepee

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Just now, SaysWho? said:

Met my girlfriend of nearly 4 years on one. Be honest, don’t try to be all things to all people, and take things slow. Try to enjoy any date with no expectation that this one is the one.

 

YOU HAVE A WHAT NOW

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best3444

best3444

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47 minutes ago, BasemntDweller2 said:

Best advice I can give is be super cautious on any free dating sites. Plenty of catfish on them. You'll find a better quality person on pay sites. 

 

Also most likely the person will have kids. You might as well accept that fact. 

 

Lastly, keep convos in person upbeat and positive. You've had a lot of shit happen the past few years, best not to unload all that at first. 

 

I did pay money for both sites which I agree, makes things more serious and legit. Yes, at 41, I'm at the realization that most I match with will have kids so I will have to accept that unless I get lucky. 

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Biggie

Biggie

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16 minutes ago, best3444 said:

 

I did pay money for both sites which I agree, makes things more serious and legit. Yes, at 41, I'm at the realization that most I match with will have kids so I will have to accept that unless I get lucky. 

Wish you luck. You are a good guy and I know finding a significant other will help you heal from the loss of your twin brother. 
 

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Biggie

Biggie

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46 minutes ago, SaysWho? said:

Met my girlfriend of nearly 4 years on one. Be honest, don’t try to be all things to all people, and take things slow. Try to enjoy any date with no expectation that this one is the one.

When you gonna put a ring on it and complete the transaction of money for sex?

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Nokra

Nokra

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I'm on a few apps (Bumble, Match, and eHarmony) but I haven't put in the time necessary to really make the most of them. Filling out a profile completely so that the person gets an accurate picture of who you are takes a fair amount of effort, it seems, and I've been pretty lazy in this regard. :p

 

I think generally the advice you've been given here has been good, especially regarding taking it slow and not putting a lot of pressure or expectations on it. Dating should be fun, IMO, and sure you're trying to find your person but there's also a huge element of luck involved, IMO, so just enjoy the ride. 

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best3444

best3444

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57 minutes ago, Nokra said:

I'm on a few apps (Bumble, Match, and eHarmony) but I haven't put in the time necessary to really make the most of them. Filling out a profile completely so that the person gets an accurate picture of who you are takes a fair amount of effort, it seems, and I've been pretty lazy in this regard. :p

 

I think generally the advice you've been given here has been good, especially regarding taking it slow and not putting a lot of pressure or expectations on it. Dating should be fun, IMO, and sure you're trying to find your person but there's also a huge element of luck involved, IMO, so just enjoy the ride. 

 

Yep, I understand this all and thanks for the post. 

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eventide11

eventide11

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On 7/26/2023 at 5:50 PM, best3444 said:

I recently signed up for eharmony and plenty of fish. It's costly but in my current position it's worth the money for the time being. 

 

What I noticed is that POF is much more active with women who are much more aggressive and outgoing. 

 

I've already made solid connections and have a date lined up next week for a causal lunch. 

 

She's 37 and beautiful but does have a 5 yr old daughter. That's not a deal breaker but it's not exactly ideal for me either. 

 

We have been chatting a lot and she also enjoys gaming. I'm pretty nervous but excited too because it's time for me to find a companion and get my life rolling.

 

Any tips for me for my first date?

 

BTW, the girl I was into at work is hitting on me again and we went for a walk at lunch yesterday. I don't want to ruin her relationship and I will have to distance myself from her slowly but surely. I have a few more prospects from coworkers that can set me up too. 

 

Any advice?

Be open, be yourself, ask questions (but not too many) be a gentleman but don't over do it to where she feels helpless, be complimentary (but not too much) and don't talk about the weird stuff until date 3 or 4. Unless yall REALLY start to click then just ease it out there and see what happens 

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best3444

best3444

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7 minutes ago, eventide11 said:

Be open, be yourself, ask questions (but not too many) be a gentleman but don't over do it to where she feels helpless, be complimentary (but not too much) and don't talk about the weird stuff until date 3 or 4. Unless yall REALLY start to click then just ease it out there and see what happens 

 

Perfectly said. I will take your adice!

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