What's the easiest painless free way in dying?

[best3444]

I don't want to write up a huge page. I'm struggling extremely bad crying every morning. I am single, alone, and lost my love of my life. I have no friends or any sort of life. I'm mentally screwed up from childhood and being an identical twin. 

 

I wouldn't wish the pain I feel all day everyday to my worst enemy.

 

I've tried therapy, meds, marijuana, and alcohol my entire adult life trying to escape from pain.

 

I absolutely see NO future for myself and don't want to suffer any longer on this Earth.

 

What are easy ways to die without pain and it's a guarantee that I die when I do this.

 

Please take this thread seriously. I'm not well at all!

[Biggie]

Bruh you need to talk? I’ll give you my number. I’ll be home this evening. 

[Keyser_Soze]

You should probably call the suicide prevention hotline  1-800-273-8255

[Commissar SFLUFAN]

@Rachel - you're the best-equipped of all of us to address this.

 

I really don't know what to do other than getting in touch with social services in his area.

[Commissar SFLUFAN]

Just now, Keyser_Soze said:

You should probably call the suicide prevention hotline  1-800-273-8255

 

 

This as well.

 

For the love of God @best3444 - call that number.

[Brian]

If you need to talk, hit me up. 

[best3444]

I'm not calling any number. I was interested in ways to die easily. Thanks for the concern guys. Google is my friend.

[brucoe]

Quite often, we're the worst assessors of our own situations and because we're all solitary individuals, we often are incapable of seeing outside of our own circumstances. Therefore, things are always going to feel like they're as bad as they can be if left to our own devices.

 

As some people have already suggested, reaching out to people is an actual lifeline, and if you don't connect successfully on the first try, keep trying, because there are people who do care. In today's world, quite often people just want someone to talk to, someone they can confide in, someone they can share jokes with, or even someone they can find some type of inspiration from. Other times, we just need someone we care about to listen to us, and quite often that person is just a short hop, skip or jump away (and we don't even realize it).

 

One thing I would suggest is to start focusing inwards. You mention losing the love of your life; this is a natural part of existence and quite often the solution is to realize that you will rarely ever find happiness by focusing on someone else to provide it. Instead, enrich yourself in ways that are cumulative and capable of being achieved. Take up a new hobby, something you've never done before. If it ends up working for you, continue to pursue it, or try another. Quite often, one's self-exploration is enhanced by finding something creative that you do for yourself, even if you're not very good at it. We don't all need to be experts at everything. Years ago, I did the same thing with writing, only discovering after years of doing it that it was something I realized I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But to be honest, it wasn't something I was doing for the sake of doing it; it was just something I had been doing as a filler for having nothing else.

 

We all have those things that eventually start to bring us pleasure. And that's what's important. Relying on others for inner comfort will always act as a defeatist mechanism because you don't control the emotions of others. But you can control how you feel, and sometimes it just takes a sense of realizing that not everything has to be perfect, that not everyone is going to be what you expect them to be, and then to just take things on surface level and see what you can get out of that mix to make things better.

 

Go to a new restaurant and start to try things on the menu you wouldn't normally eat. Go to bars, libraries or coffee shops and then nod and smile at the other people, realizing that their responses aren't that important, but what is important is that you're there and in the moment. Live every moment in the moment, where you start to appreciate the things around you. Years ago, I was in the Army, and it was in the middle of the night, and I was walking around the perimeter, noticing the various sights and sounds in the desert. I was in the desert, and I heard birds. That thought alone opened my mind to all sorts of other thoughts that weren't reliant on someone else filing in the details for me. It was an event that I had experienced myself, alone. And at the time, it made me happy. It still does. I might have been going through a bad relationship with a girlfriend at the time, but strangely enough, I don't even remember that. I just remember being happy while walking through the desert in the middle of the night, checking on my fellow soldiers.

 

Today, I value every encounter I have with friends and colleagues. I don't have a lot of friends these days because of where I am in my career, but that's not because I'm not looking for them. I just understand that there are ebbs and flows in one's life, and I'm okay with that.

 

Being okay with the way things happen in life is a difficult process to achieve, but it's so necessary to finding self-happiness. I remember certain moments in my life where I was depressed and thinking all sorts of dark thoughts. Today, I smile at those times because I grew past those moments to become something different.

 

A simple solution to your complex problem may just be to find something simple that you can enjoy. Think back on the things that you DID enjoy in life What were they? If they were things that involved specific people, think deeper and imagine circumstances where you can visualize yourself in better circumstances. I don't mean to imagine yourself winning the lottery or some nonsense like that, but to imagine a nice sunny day where you're hanging out with your dog, your cat, your goat or your pet penguin (or whatever).

 

The problem so many of us run into is that we complicate our lives with expectations that we will never achieve and then we condemn ourselves for not reaching them. 

 

Even if you do nothing else, there are people here who will converse with you, that will gladly bounce ideas back and forth at you without talking down to you. It's why I've been here for so long. You've already reached out. Just continue doing so.

[Biggie]

27 minutes ago, best3444 said:

I'm not calling any number. I was interested in ways to die easily. Thanks for the concern guys. Google is my friend.

Think about your parents. How this will make them feel. Please. 

[best3444]

1 hour ago, Biggie said:

Think about your parents. How this will make them feel. Please. 

 

I haven't talked to my parents in over 2 weeks. I skipped out on our big camping trip because I was so down. My dad cried for a while that I didn't go. My mom left a voicemail explaining that to me. She said I need help and hung up. I have no support system.

[best3444]

1 hour ago, brucoe said:

Quite often, we're the worst assessors of our own situations and because we're all solitary individuals, we often are incapable of seeing outside of our own circumstances. Therefore, things are always going to feel like they're as bad as they can be if left to our own devices.

 

As some people have already suggested, reaching out to people is an actual lifeline, and if you don't connect successfully on the first try, keep trying, because there are people who do care. In today's world, quite often people just want someone to talk to, someone they can confide in, someone they can share jokes with, or even someone they can find some type of inspiration from. Other times, we just need someone we care about to listen to us, and quite often that person is just a short hop, skip or jump away (and we don't even realize it).

 

One thing I would suggest is to start focusing inwards. You mention losing the love of your life; this is a natural part of existence and quite often the solution is to realize that you will rarely ever find happiness by focusing on someone else to provide it. Instead, enrich yourself in ways that are cumulative and capable of being achieved. Take up a new hobby, something you've never done before. If it ends up working for you, continue to pursue it, or try another. Quite often, one's self-exploration is enhanced by finding something creative that you do for yourself, even if you're not very good at it. We don't all need to be experts at everything. Years ago, I did the same thing with writing, only discovering after years of doing it that it was something I realized I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But to be honest, it wasn't something I was doing for the sake of doing it; it was just something I had been doing as a filler for having nothing else.

 

We all have those things that eventually start to bring us pleasure. And that's what's important. Relying on others for inner comfort will always act as a defeatist mechanism because you don't control the emotions of others. But you can control how you feel, and sometimes it just takes a sense of realizing that not everything has to be perfect, that not everyone is going to be what you expect them to be, and then to just take things on surface level and see what you can get out of that mix to make things better.

 

Go to a new restaurant and start to try things on the menu you wouldn't normally eat. Go to bars, libraries or coffee shops and then nod and smile at the other people, realizing that their responses aren't that important, but what is important is that you're there and in the moment. Live every moment in the moment, where you start to appreciate the things around you. Years ago, I was in the Army, and it was in the middle of the night, and I was walking around the perimeter, noticing the various sights and sounds in the desert. I was in the desert, and I heard birds. That thought alone opened my mind to all sorts of other thoughts that weren't reliant on someone else filing in the details for me. It was an event that I had experienced myself, alone. And at the time, it made me happy. It still does. I might have been going through a bad relationship with a girlfriend at the time, but strangely enough, I don't even remember that. I just remember being happy while walking through the desert in the middle of the night, checking on my fellow soldiers.

 

Today, I value every encounter I have with friends and colleagues. I don't have a lot of friends these days because of where I am in my career, but that's not because I'm not looking for them. I just understand that there are ebbs and flows in one's life, and I'm okay with that.

 

Being okay with the way things happen in life is a difficult process to achieve, but it's so necessary to finding self-happiness. I remember certain moments in my life where I was depressed and thinking all sorts of dark thoughts. Today, I smile at those times because I grew past those moments to become something different.

 

A simple solution to your complex problem may just be to find something simple that you can enjoy. Think back on the things that you DID enjoy in life What were they? If they were things that involved specific people, think deeper and imagine circumstances where you can visualize yourself in better circumstances. I don't mean to imagine yourself winning the lottery or some nonsense like that, but to imagine a nice sunny day where you're hanging out with your dog, your cat, your goat or your pet penguin (or whatever).

 

The problem so many of us run into is that we complicate our lives with expectations that we will never achieve and then we condemn ourselves for not reaching them. 

 

Even if you do nothing else, there are people here who will converse with you, that will gladly bounce ideas back and forth at you without talking down to you. It's why I've been here for so long. You've already reached out. Just continue doing so.

 

Really thoughtful and helpful post. I really appreciate it. I'll keep everything you said in mind. 

[TheLeon]

Nobody here is going to help you kill yourself. We all make jokes and can be mean, but genuinely, nobody wants you dead. 

[Biggie]

17 minutes ago, best3444 said:

 

I haven't talked to my parents in over 2 weeks. I skipped out on our big camping trip because I was so down. My dad cried for a while that I didn't go. My mom left a voicemail explaining that to me. She said I need help and hung up. I have no support system.

I can’t feel what you are feeling. I’m made totally different than you. Things really don’t bother me and my mental health has always been good. All I can say is please seek help. If you won’t call the number than at the very least call your therapist. Quit lying to her. Tell her the truth. She can’t help you if she doesn’t know what’s really going on with you. Reach out to her today. No excuses. Do it. 

[Commissar SFLUFAN]

5 minutes ago, Biggie said:

I can’t feel what you are feeling. I’m made totally different than you. Things really don’t bother me and my mental health has always been good. All I can say is please seek help. If you won’t call the number than at the very least call your therapist. Quit lying to her. Tell her the truth. She can’t help you if she doesn’t know what’s really going on with you. Reach out to her today. No excuses. Do it. 

 

@best3444 - LISTEN TO THIS MAN!

[stepee]

We joke around but we do care about you here. I really hope things get better for you. Everyone already said to please get some support no matter what that is, I hope you do.

 

You do matter, your life matters, and it’s worth fighting for.

[best3444]

7 minutes ago, stepee said:

We joke around but we do care about you here. I really hope things get better for you. Everyone already said to please get some support no matter what that is, I hope you do.

 

You do matter, your life matters, and it’s worth fighting for.

 

I appreciate it. I'm feeling a bit better just by creating this thread. I just have to keep fighting and maybe something substantial will come into my life. 

[stepee]

5 minutes ago, best3444 said:

 

I appreciate it. I'm feeling a bit better just by creating this thread. I just have to keep fighting and maybe something substantial will come into my life. 

 

This is great to hear, you got this.

[AlwaysDyingX]

9 hours ago, Biggie said:

Bruh you need to talk? I’ll give you my number. I’ll be home this evening. 

 

 

same with me 

[best3444]

I just wanted to say thank you for the support today. I'm going to try better each day to do my very best. It's just so damn difficult. Luv you guys.

[heydude93]

 

 

what he said ^_^

[Joe]

I’ve felt that feeling of desperation before. You’ve said before that you feel like you’re too old to have a family but it’s just not true! That’s going to happen for you I promise.

[best3444]

9 hours ago, Joe said:

I’ve felt that feeling of desperation before. You’ve said before that you feel like you’re too old to have a family but it’s just not true! That’s going to happen for you I promise.

 

Thank you, man. I pray everyday that I meet someone some how. I'm not very sociable so unfortunately I have to rely on dating apps. That's frustrating. 

 

8 hours ago, Rachel said:

I truly truly believe that things can get better for you 

 

After your dm, I feel very good about the support I have from you but also others on this forum. I must keep fighting and try to look at things in a positive manner.

[AlwaysDyingX]

@best3444 don't feel a particular way about using dating apps, it's the norm in 2021 especially with Covid now. Just take each day one day at a time. I know it's super cliche but it really helps.

 

Edit: the other thing I would tell you is that go out with people you normally wouldn't. It's fun just to go out and have conversations with all walks of life and who knows they might surprise you and have something to offer.  That's what I did during my single slump. Usually had some funny stories come out of  the experiences. 

[best3444]

17 minutes ago, BasemntDweller2 said:

@best3444 don't feel a particular way about using dating apps, it's the norm in 2021 especially with Covid now. Just take each day one day at a time. I know it's super cliche but it really helps.

 

Edit: the other thing I would tell you is that go out with people you normally wouldn't. It's fun just to go out and have conversations with all walks of life and who knows they might surprise you and have something to offer.  That's what I did during my single slump. Usually had some funny stories come out of  the experiences. 

 

I'm not embarrassed or ashamed in using dating apps. It's just so extremely difficult to find a match via pictures and a bio. I have match right now with a few notifications that some women are interested in me. I just feel like utter shit to even open up the app. 

 

I don't have anyone to go out with. I have co-workers I socialize with including management and daily meetings. Just no friendships. I might start reading something Andrea said she could help me find. It could help to cope with a severe loss and being in depression all together. 

[Joe]

1 hour ago, BasemntDweller2 said:

@best3444 don't feel a particular way about using dating apps, it's the norm in 2021 especially with Covid now. Just take each day one day at a time. I know it's super cliche but it really helps.

 

Edit: the other thing I would tell you is that go out with people you normally wouldn't. It's fun just to go out and have conversations with all walks of life and who knows they might surprise you and have something to offer.  That's what I did during my single slump. Usually had some funny stories come out of  the experiences. 

I second this! The night I met my wife, I almost did not go out because I was like “ugh another fucking night of wasting money and not meeting anybody.”

[best3444]

1 hour ago, Joe said:

I second this! The night I met my wife, I almost did not go out because I was like “ugh another fucking night of wasting money and not meeting anybody.”

 

Talk about fate. You're one of the lucky ones. 

[Bloodporne]

2 hours ago, best3444 said:

 

I'm not embarrassed or ashamed in using dating apps. It's just so extremely difficult to find a match via pictures and a bio. I have match right now with a few notifications that some women are interested in me. I just feel like utter shit to even open up the app. 

 

I don't have anyone to go out with. I have co-workers I socialize with including management and daily meetings. Just no friendships. I might start reading something Andrea said she could help me find. It could help to cope with a severe loss and being in depression all together. 

Okay so this is going to be really specific and might just not be for you but I can only speak from personal experience. What really, really helped me overcome the most brutal period of depression and full-on self-loathing I had in my 20s was to kick myself in the ass and literally force myself to get into martial arts. I absolutely knew I needed structure and discipline and to learn something new and engrossing. Also most important, something that wasn't structure and discipline as imposed by my fucking job. I'm not saying it cured me or anything, that comes and goes, but I will say that I met an entire new circle of friends and found a self-respect and the discipline to not cower when things got shitty. There's a huge mental benefit to it, bigger in my opinion than the physical aspect. 

 

I really think this could apply to a lot of structured and social "club" type activities and something that could help. I think it pairs you needing to get out of this bubble that is essentially a cycle of negative shit and also socializing (to a certain degree, or at least seeing new faces) and activity. You can always shoot me a message if you're interested in something like that. 

 

And on another note, I understand the sentiment and the spot you're in, I really do, but I also have known several people (one a very important person in my life) who committed suicide and it's fucking devastating and that's a mild word. Just because people don't verbally reinforce it etc. doesn't mean some people don't truly appreciate you, a lot of people just don't communicate like that. 

[Bloodporne]

24 minutes ago, Rachel said:

yeah @best3444 I was gonna say you should check out meetup.com and see what social groups are in your area. Maybe there’s something you’d be interested in to try. 

To add to that, physical and mental health go hand in hand so something physical is usually best (no pun intended)

[best3444]

5 hours ago, Rachel said:

yeah @best3444 I was gonna say you should check out meetup.com and see what social groups are in your area. Maybe there’s something you’d be interested in to try. 

 

That would take a lot of will power and courage to do something like that. I'm not built to meet new people because I never learned how to growing up as an identical twin. That's definitely intimidating advice.

 

5 hours ago, Bloodporne said:

To add to that, physical and mental health go hand in hand so something physical is usually best (no pun intended)

 

I do a lot of physical work and mental work at my job. Thanks for the post above, too.

[DPCyric]

You know instead of trying to meet someone now why not focus on being yourself as an individual? I would highly suggest finding some volunteer work to do not only will it help you feel like you are making a difference but it will also open up social situations for you. Where do you live? Also have you ever looked for any support group of twins who have lost a twin?

[best3444]

15 hours ago, DPCyric said:

You know instead of trying to meet someone now why not focus on being yourself as an individual? I would highly suggest finding some volunteer work to do not only will it help you feel like you are making a difference but it will also open up social situations for you. Where do you live? Also have you ever looked for any support group of twins who have lost a twin?

 

Yes. Support groups for twin loss is not local at all. Volunteer work sounds like a good idea but I work too much as it is. I've been joking around with 3 good dudes from work all morning. So it's been a better day. I'm still extremely sad but I'm trying to stay positive.

 

Maybe I should open up match and see what all these notifications I got in email are all about. 

[best3444]

51 minutes ago, Rachel said:

There’s the online twinless twins group I showed you about. Online support is valid too, as you’ve learned by reaching out here. 
 

I’m glad you’re able to joke today and laugh and take the good with the bad. 

 

Wait, I don't recall you pointing me to online twin groups? I'm sorry I forget. Virtual sessions over the phone? How's it work?

[Rev]

If you're seeing a doctor already, you might try switching to a different one. Some are better than others at diagnosis and treatment for these kinds of issues. It obviously won't fix everything, but if you can improve your foundational mood with meds, that will help quite a bit with the rest. Some good evidence-based therapy might be very helpful as well. I've gone through similar moments, a few of them publicly on this forum.

[best3444]

13 hours ago, Rev said:

If you're seeing a doctor already, you might try switching to a different one. Some are better than others at diagnosis and treatment for these kinds of issues. It obviously won't fix everything, but if you can improve your foundational mood with meds, that will help quite a bit with the rest. Some good evidence-based therapy might be very helpful as well. I've gone through similar moments, a few of them publicly on this forum.

 

I appreciate your post. I only see a psychiatrist at the moment but I probably will seek out more therapy.

 

7 hours ago, Rachel said:

 

Twinless Twins Support Group International

TWINLESSTWINS.ORG

---

Supporting twins who have lost their twin.

I showed you a while ago. No worries if you forgot.
 

You can join as a member and get more info about the virtual support groups. I can’t get more info because I’m not a member. I think it said it was $50 per year to join. I’m sure you could call to get more info though before committing to pay. There is also a free Facebook group they have that is very active. 

 

Very good! I appreciate this. I'm definitely going to be looking into this and join, too.