How are you doing, stepee?

[Fizzzzle]

I'm having a really bad pain day and sometimes it helps me to remind myself that I didn't have my leg run over by a fucking truck. And then I feel guilty that I'm using you as a pain benchmark.

 

How is the progress going? How is the lawsuit going? How are YOU doing, just in general?

[TheLeon]

I know you didn't ask me, but one of my toenails just like... fell off the other day. It's basically the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I'm really freaking out. 

[Bacon]

I know you didn't ask me, but last year I had two wet dreams and I had never had a wet dream until that first time.

[TheShader]

I know you didn't ask me, but I treated myself to an ice cream today and it slid off the cone and into the pavement as I walked towards my car. I don't think I'll recover. 

[Fizzzzle]

16 minutes ago, TheLeon said:

I know you didn't ask me, but one of my toenails just like... fell off the other day. It's basically the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I'm really freaking out. 

that sucks, bro. Does it hurt or did it just... end?

 

(also something similar happened to me a long time ago that was the result of me wearing boots that were too small. My nails on my pinky toes kind of got split in two, they're still like that. Doesn't hurt, I just have weird nails on my pinky toes.)

 

4 minutes ago, Bacon said:

I know you didn't ask me, but last year I had two wet dreams and I had never had a wet dream until that first time.

I've only had one actual wet dream my entire life. Every other dream where I get horny results in people within my dream cock blocking me. Like I'm ready to get down on some business and then someone comes into the room to ruin the moment. Kinda like how when you have to pee in a dream but something prevents you from doing so.

[Fizzzzle]

1 minute ago, TheShader said:

I know you didn't ask me, but I treated myself to an ice cream today and it slid off the cone and into the pavement as I walked towards my car. I don't think I'll recover. 

Yeah, that's rough. Did you go back and get a new one?

 

Also very brave eating ice cream in your car.

[stepee]

I know you didn’t ask me but wait a minute

 

It’s been going. Literally no changes on anything in the last year really. Pain seems exactly the same, walking still sucks now. Lawsuit stuff I can’t talk too much about but I can say nothing has really happened there yet either. So…in other words same ol same ol! One thing that I’ve been able to experience now is in addition to the usual ankle/foot pain the dull arthritis like aching pain around my whole lower left leg with the long cold winter we’ve been having in CA.

[TheLeon]

28 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

that sucks, bro. Does it hurt or did it just... end?

 

(also something similar happened to me a long time ago that was the result of me wearing boots that were too small. My nails on my pinky toes kind of got split in two, they're still like that. Doesn't hurt, I just have weird nails on my pinky toes.)

It hasn't hurt yet. It's the second toe (which sticks out slightly past my big toe) on my left foot. And it's not entirely gone, just like 90% 

[Fizzzzle]

4 minutes ago, stepee said:

I know you didn’t ask me but wait a minute

 

It’s been going. Literally no changes on anything in the last year really. Pain seems exactly the same, walking still sucks now. Lawsuit stuff I can’t talk too much about but I can say nothing has really happened there yet either. So…in other words same ol same ol! One thing that I’ve been able to experience now is in addition to the usual ankle/foot pain the dull arthritis like aching pain around my whole lower left leg with the long cold winter we’ve been having in CA.

So it's safe to say your lifelong dreams of moving to Pittsburgh are probably out of the question?

[Fizzzzle]

7 minutes ago, TheLeon said:

It hasn't hurt yet. It's the second toe (which sticks out slightly past my big toe) on my left foot. And it's not entirely gone, just like 90% 

Well, you can always just go to your primary care physicic-hahahahahahaha, no you can't.

 

#murica.

 

In all honesty, though, it's probably fine as long as it doesn't hurt and there isn't a bunch of weird colors. Nails are basically just dead skin. You're, like, probably fine. I'm like 75% sure that you're 90% probably fine. I went to a doctor once.

[Zaku3]

On 3/21/2023 at 10:22 PM, Fizzzzle said:

Well, you can always just go to your primary care physicic-hahahahahahaha, no you can't.

 

#murica.

 

In all honesty, though, it's probably fine as long as it doesn't hurt and there isn't a bunch of weird colors. Nails are basically just dead skin. You're, like, probably fine. I'm like 75% sure that you're 90% probably fine. I went to a doctor once.

 

I like this post. It's a convincing argument. My reservations are are the numbers right but I can and will check that.

 

Ooo ya sounds like just lost a toe nail. Had a tile from my bathroom hit my big toe and my toe nail came off on it's own after a few days. Hella weird cuz the light part of the nail at the base just disappeared. I guess the impact broke it at some points. Never happened again but it be cool to observe it again. 

[Fizzzzle]

I'm in a lot of pain. I keep trying to remind myself that it's not stepee levels of pain, but I can't sleep (hence the meandering essay on Buenaventura Baez I posted last night). Over the counter pain killers aren't cutting it. I don't even notice them.

 

Every time in the past I reinjured my shoulder, it was like 2-3 days of pain before it gets back to manageable levels, this time it's been a week and the pain has never receded below like a 4. It's enough pain that I have to try very hard to focus on anything else. My thoughts keep getting interrupted by "ow!" and there's no position I can put my shoulder that makes a difference.

 

I've been dealing with pain in that shoulder since I tore my rotator cuff like 10 years ago. This is the worst it's been since then. The only way I've been able to sleep longer than 2-3 hours is to get drunk, which probably makes it worse since I'm probably rolling over on my shoulder.

 

I don't have insurance, and even if I did I can't afford surgery. And also even if I did I stay very far away from opiates for very good reason.

 

I keep hoping it will get better on its own like it always has, but it just keeps getting worse.

 

...#murica

[stepee]

 all I can recommend is a lot of pot, not that it makes the pain better per se but it helps you forget about it as long as you keep your mind focused on something else ie games/tv 

[Nokra]

3 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

I'm in a lot of pain. I keep trying to remind myself that it's not stepee levels of pain, but I can't sleep (hence the meandering essay on Buenaventura Baez I posted last night). Over the counter pain killers aren't cutting it. I don't even notice them.

 

Every time in the past I reinjured my shoulder, it was like 2-3 days of pain before it gets back to manageable levels, this time it's been a week and the pain has never receded below like a 4. It's enough pain that I have to try very hard to focus on anything else. My thoughts keep getting interrupted by "ow!" and there's no position I can put my shoulder that makes a difference.

 

I've been dealing with pain in that shoulder since I tore my rotator cuff like 10 years ago. This is the worst it's been since then. The only way I've been able to sleep longer than 2-3 hours is to get drunk, which probably makes it worse since I'm probably rolling over on my shoulder.

 

I don't have insurance, and even if I did I can't afford surgery. And also even if I did I stay very far away from opiates for very good reason.

 

I keep hoping it will get better on its own like it always has, but it just keeps getting worse.

 

...#murica

 

Dang man, really sorry to hear that you're in so much pain and are even struggling to sleep.  Have you tried getting on the Oregon Health Authority policy? I was on it for a few months when I first moved back to the US, was a student, wasn't employed, and was otherwise without insurance. 

[Fizzzzle]

14 minutes ago, Nokra said:

 

Dang man, really sorry to hear that you're in so much pain and are even struggling to sleep.  Have you tried getting on the Oregon Health Authority policy? I was on it for a few months when I first moved back to the US, was a student, wasn't employed, and was otherwise without insurance. 

I might be able to get on it. I was on it for a brief while back in like 2006. Surgery is still not an option, though

 

[SoberChef]

Legit one of my all time fears is having a finger/toenail fall off, I don't know why, but it just terrifies me!

[Keyser_Soze]

2 hours ago, SoberChef said:

Legit one of my all time fears is having a finger/toenail fall off, I don't know why, but it just terrifies me!

 

Yeah finger stuff bothers me too. Heck even things that are painless give me the creeps. Like I knew a person and he whipped out some scissors at the bus stop and cut his finger nails with scissors. I dunno, the thought of cutting finger nails with scissors just makes me feel uneasy.

 

I've had a couple of toenails fall off unfortunately. Watch where you're walking folks!

[stepee]

11 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

 

Yeah finger stuff bothers me too. Heck even things that are painless give me the creeps. Like I knew a person and he whipped out some scissors at the bus stop and cut his finger nails with scissors. I dunno, the thought of cutting finger nails with scissors just makes me feel uneasy.

 

I've had a couple of toenails fall off unfortunately. Watch where you're walking folks!

 

You watch Banshees Of Inisherin?

[Keyser_Soze]

9 minutes ago, stepee said:

You watch Banshees Of Inisherin?

 

Not yet!

[Brian]

When I am having a rough day physically, I do think “well at least a truck didn’t run over me twice”.  
 

When I am having a tough day at work, I do think “well at least I don’t have to start a dry wall business”.

[stepee]

Woke up a couple times from the pain last night and thought of this thread. Hang in there, hope you find some way to better help manage it, chronic pain can be so draining.

[best3444]

Jesus I feel so bad for stepee and fizzzle. Marijuana is good advice but not having insurance and surgery is awful. 

[stepee]

2 minutes ago, best3444 said:

Jesus I feel so bad for stepee and fizzzle. Marijuana is good advice but not having insurance and surgery is awful. 

 

Like, my bill was over 600k, idk what happens if say my accident was a hit run and they didn’t catch the guy and I didn’t have insurance. Could have easily gone that way. I’d be so fucked.

[Fizzzzle]

@stepeeany advice on continuing with normal life when everything just hurts all the time? How do you act normal when your body is screaming? I could really use some advice.

 

I'm fucking irritable as shit. I've been snapping at people. And the worst part is I don't want people to think I want a pity party, so I don't tell them that the reason I'm being short is because it feels like my arm is going to fall off.

 

I'm so tired of being in pain and it's only been like a month. Granted I've dealt with chronic pain in my shoulder for ten years, but it's only in the last month that it's shot to Spinal Tap levels of "this one goes to 11."

 

I don't want to compare my situation to yours, but I also don't know anyone who has had to deal with so much pain that they literally can't focus. It's like imagine the worst tooth ache you've ever imagined, but it's in your shoulder. There is no relief, there is no "comfortable" position, it's just constant, ever-present pain. I've had to re-learn how to sleep to mixed results.

[stepee]

42 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

@stepeeany advice on continuing with normal life when everything just hurts all the time? How do you act normal when your body is screaming? I could really use some advice.

 

I'm fucking irritable as shit. I've been snapping at people. And the worst part is I don't want people to think I want a pity party, so I don't tell them that the reason I'm being short is because it feels like my arm is going to fall off.

 

I'm so tired of being in pain and it's only been like a month. Granted I've dealt with chronic pain in my shoulder for ten years, but it's only in the last month that it's shot to Spinal Tap levels of "this one goes to 11."

 

I don't want to compare my situation to yours, but I also don't know anyone who has had to deal with so much pain that they literally can't focus. It's like imagine the worst tooth ache you've ever imagined, but it's in your shoulder. There is no relief, there is no "comfortable" position, it's just constant, ever-present pain. I've had to re-learn how to sleep to mixed results.

 

Im not kidding that I smoke a lot of cannabis to deal with it. During work I don’t smoke but  I drink a lot of caffeine to get my mind racing and try to stay busy and keep a variety to my tasks so Im just but not focusing too much on one thing that bores me and lets my mind wander. My work lets me occupy my mind enough so I don’t have to focus on the pain as much but if it is too much I just throw myself a pity party and lay down and try to read about something that makes me happy or play a bit of a game. Sometimes 800mg ibuprofen helps but I try not to do that too much and it doesn’t help with the nerve pain whatsoever. Trying to counter the pain by thinking happy thought is corny but it’s really the only thing I can try to do.

 

Off work it’s the same idea of just trying to counter with happy but pot lets me focus all my mind on something else and let the pain slip into the background. That’s the best medicine for me. A bunch of pot and a good game.

 

Edit: And here is last nights pain journal as for as how I’m doing:

 

4/10 11:40am The whole foot is terrible this afternoon and has been hard to walk since last night the ankle is really really bad tried walking a bit more to see if that would actually help and it’s just worse now and throbbing

 

Could be worse I guess but yeah chronic pain suxxxxxx

 

[Fizzzzle]

Today I can't really feel any pain, which is nice. So I decided to try and move my arm around.

 

I'm pretty sure I dislocated my shoulder. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow anyway so we'll see, but being able to move my arm around without pain (not under my arms own power, I'm using my left hand to move my arm and like a puppet) made me realize that I think there's a bone that's a lot more pronounced than it's supposed to be. At least I think so. I suppose you never think about the protuberance of your shoulder joints from day to day.

 

How could you dislocate your shoulder and not notice, you may ask? I dunno, I guess I'm so used to pain in that shoulder that having pain that's just worse than normal doesn't register all that much.

 

Still, big if true. If all it is is a dislocated shoulder, that makes my life a lot easier. You don't need surgery to fix that. Pop that bitch back in, give it a few weeks so it doesn't just pop out again, then fuckin Charlie Mike.

 

 

[Guest]

I went out an practiced a bit with my kickball team, throwing a ball around for the first time in a few years. My shoulders hurt for sure, but it’s amazing to see how much range of motion improvement I have made

[Brian]

On 4/11/2023 at 6:05 PM, stepee said:

 

Im not kidding that I smoke a lot of cannabis to deal with it. During work I don’t smoke but  I drink a lot of caffeine to get my mind racing and try to stay busy and keep a variety to my tasks so Im just but not focusing too much on one thing that bores me and lets my mind wander. My work lets me occupy my mind enough so I don’t have to focus on the pain as much but if it is too much I just throw myself a pity party and lay down and try to read about something that makes me happy or play a bit of a game. Sometimes 800mg ibuprofen helps but I try not to do that too much and it doesn’t help with the nerve pain whatsoever. Trying to counter the pain by thinking happy thought is corny but it’s really the only thing I can try to do.

 

Off work it’s the same idea of just trying to counter with happy but pot lets me focus all my mind on something else and let the pain slip into the background. That’s the best medicine for me. A bunch of pot and a good game.

 

Edit: And here is last nights pain journal as for as how I’m doing:

 

4/10 11:40am The whole foot is terrible this afternoon and has been hard to walk since last night the ankle is really really bad tried walking a bit more to see if that would actually help and it’s just worse now and throbbing

 

Could be worse I guess but yeah chronic pain suxxxxxx

 

My mom uses Voltaren gel for her leg pain. She says it helps her. 

[stepee]

better now, looks like we have reached settlement, finally pretty much over.

[stepee]

Leg ironically hurting extra bad today though. But I got toys and I got pot.

[Rev]

On 4/11/2023 at 2:23 PM, Fizzzzle said:

@stepeeany advice on continuing with normal life when everything just hurts all the time? How do you act normal when your body is screaming? I could really use some advice.

 

I'm fucking irritable as shit. I've been snapping at people. And the worst part is I don't want people to think I want a pity party, so I don't tell them that the reason I'm being short is because it feels like my arm is going to fall off.

 

I'm so tired of being in pain and it's only been like a month. Granted I've dealt with chronic pain in my shoulder for ten years, but it's only in the last month that it's shot to Spinal Tap levels of "this one goes to 11."

 

I don't want to compare my situation to yours, but I also don't know anyone who has had to deal with so much pain that they literally can't focus. It's like imagine the worst tooth ache you've ever imagined, but it's in your shoulder. There is no relief, there is no "comfortable" position, it's just constant, ever-present pain. I've had to re-learn how to sleep to mixed results.

Really sorry to hear you're going through this. Kind of a random seeming suggestion but have you tried messing around with meditation at all? I've only dabbled myself but quite a few people attest to its effectiveness on reducing your experience of pain. Might be worth doing a guided course or something. There are a bunch of free apps for it. I'd recommend 10% Happier or Waking Up just because they don't have any weird chanting or religious crap. 

[Remarkableriots]

I feel like I'm falling apart breaking down. Yesterday after seeing a movie with my mom my knee felt like it was popping out of place making it hard to walk. It's hard to explain, but it makes it seem like it's going to give out and causes me to hobble like my leg is unsteady.

My left foot throbbing pain comes and goes and still dealing with numbness in my foot. I'm still using a cane to walk because it helps with the pain while walking. I don't think it's going to get much better.

[Nokra]

12 hours ago, Remarkableriots said:

I feel like I'm falling apart breaking down. Yesterday after seeing a movie with my mom my knee felt like it was popping out of place making it hard to walk. It's hard to explain, but it makes it seem like it's going to give out and causes me to hobble like my leg is unsteady.

My left foot throbbing pain comes and goes and still dealing with numbness in my foot. I'm still using a cane to walk because it helps with the pain while walking. I don't think it's going to get much better.

 

Dang man, that sucks; I'm sorry you're going through that. What did your doctor think about it? 

[best3444]

12 hours ago, Remarkableriots said:

I feel like I'm falling apart breaking down. Yesterday after seeing a movie with my mom my knee felt like it was popping out of place making it hard to walk. It's hard to explain, but it makes it seem like it's going to give out and causes me to hobble like my leg is unsteady.

My left foot throbbing pain comes and goes and still dealing with numbness in my foot. I'm still using a cane to walk because it helps with the pain while walking. I don't think it's going to get much better.

 

How's your exercising going and your weight management?

[stepee]

13 hours ago, Remarkableriots said:

I feel like I'm falling apart breaking down. Yesterday after seeing a movie with my mom my knee felt like it was popping out of place making it hard to walk. It's hard to explain, but it makes it seem like it's going to give out and causes me to hobble like my leg is unsteady.

My left foot throbbing pain comes and goes and still dealing with numbness in my foot. I'm still using a cane to walk because it helps with the pain while walking. I don't think it's going to get much better.

 

I’m really sorry to hear this  This sounds awful and I really really hope it gets better soon so you can have some relief at least