What are your dating red flags?

[Fizzzzle]

I've been recently getting into dating again after almost 2 years of retreating into my cave.

 

For me, it's any time someone mentions anything to do with astrology on the first date. I will actually take someone who is actually religious before I get into a relationship with someone who believes astrology is real. Astrology is religion for beginners. If you're going to commit to made up bullshit, fucking commit to it, don't use the cloak of "I'm not religious, I'm spiritual."

 

Also maybe it's because I'm well into my 30s, but I actually am attracted to women with children. Not because I want to become a surrogate father, but because I feel like most women with children are kind of over the bullshit. They are very direct about what they want and expect from you. That being said, my ex (who I was with for almost 5 years) really undersold the amount of drama I was going to endure.

 

Also I can't date anyone who listens to post-punk. That's a hard rule.

[Bacon]

If they are interested in me I know something is wrong with them and I shouldn't date them.

[Keyser_Soze]

Well I "connected" with a person a week or two ago. Not sure if this was a troll or what.

 

They said how they were such a good cook because they can make a good meal from practically anything, kind of like Iron Chef style. So I asked if you're such a good cook are you someone who would prefer a home cooked meal to eating out.

 

Then they blew up and said eating out is superior and only "fucking losers" stay home and eat. I was baffled but at least they saved me the trouble.

[Fizzzzle]

16 minutes ago, Bacon said:

If they are interested in me I know something is wrong with them and I shouldn't date them.

If you aren't confident in yourself, then you can't expect anyone to be confident in you either.

 

I know that sounds like "just get over it," which is the last thing people want to hear, but there is truth to it. Be confident in who you are and no one will care if you have a waifu body pillow.

 

 

.... Maybe don't reveal the waifu body pillow for a while...

 

And honestly there's nothing wrong with just wanting to be alone, either. As long as it comes from a place of "I like who I am and I don't need validation" vs. "no one will like me, so I'd rather not try." The former is self affirming, the latter is self defeating.

 

"I am Bacon. I like futanari. I don't like vegetables. I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam "

[Fizzzzle]

14 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

Well I "connected" with a person a week or two ago. Not sure if this was a troll or what.

 

They said how they were such a good cook because they can make a good meal from practically anything, kind of like Iron Chef style. So I asked if you're such a good cook are you someone who would prefer a home cooked meal to eating out.

 

Then they blew up sand said eating out is superior and only "fucking losers" stay home and eat. I was baffled but at least they saved me the trouble.

Yeah, probably dodged a bullet there

[Bacon]

I have never owned a waifu body pillow nor do I want one.

 

Onaholes on the other hand, I have owned many.

[TUFKAK]

Christian’s, conservatives, cross-fitters. Of course I was dating for other reasons last time I was on the apps so for hookups I’d overlook most of these in lower degrees but the full blown nutsos I’d still ignore/ghost.

 

Left swipes were anyone mentioning their political ideology/relationship with their god.

[ThreePi]

Having been going through the dating app grind the past few months here are three superficial things that bother me:

 

1. Photo filters. I get people can be self-conscious about their skin, but unless you looked at the Ark of the Covenant and your face melted off, photo filters will look worse.

2. Taking a photo of yourself in front of a mural of angel wings. This is cringe and comes up surprisingly often.

3. Calling yourself "sassy" in your profile. What that says to me is you're obnoxiously opinionated and you are trying to put a positive spin on it.

[Fizzzzle]

2 hours ago, TUFKAK said:

cross-fitters.

They're a cult, don't let anyone tell you differently.

[Ominous]

People saying they are blessed. 

People that go to church. 

Anything MAGA. 

People with sub 700 credit scores 

 

If I wasn't married I'd just choose to be single, but that's just me. 

 

[Guest]

When my wife says “what sounds good to you?”

 

[Nokra]

Here's a short list of a few fairly common ones off of the top of my head that I've noticed from various online dating profiles, to which I might add at a later date:

 

1. Using the phrase "try and keep up". This suggests to me she's going to do whatever she wants and expects me to just deal with it, rather than having a true partnership (w/ communication, respect for boundaries, etc.).

2. ENM (ethically non-monogamous). Good for you if this actually works for you, but it wouldn't for me; I guess I'm the jealous type. 

3. Christian. I tend to swipe left on these people because most likely we wouldn't see eye to eye on this one, but I'm actually open to someone claiming to be a Christian because it's how they identified growing up but they haven't really challenged it later. Though that does suggest they might be a little intellectually lazy.

4. Astrology. just.... lol. 

5. Every picture of them is with an alcoholic drink. I'm not a teetotaler by any means, but it's just not a big part of my identity or lifestyle.

6. They explicitly say they don't like dogs (and they're not allergic). Besides the fact that I have a dog so we'd be incompatible there, I'm not sure I'd want to date someone who freely admits to being a horrible person.  

[TUFKAK]

5 hours ago, Nokra said:

 

2. ENM (ethically non-monogamous). Good for you if this actually works for you, but it wouldn't for me; I guess I'm the jealous type. 

 

Don’t know what you’re missing 

[Nokra]

35 minutes ago, TUFKAK said:

Don’t know what you’re missing 

Unfortunately I've been cheated on a couple times and I'm not sure that I could separate those feelings out, so yeah... I'm unfortunately pretty sure I know exactly what I'm missing: those horrible feelings!  

 

Being a bit tongue in cheek, of course. I couldn't do it, but if you can, I'm truly glad for you... It seems like a simpler way to live; I'm too fearful, I guess.  

[TUFKAK]

10 hours ago, Nokra said:

Unfortunately I've been cheated on a couple times and I'm not sure that I could separate those feelings out, so yeah... I'm unfortunately pretty sure I know exactly what I'm missing: those horrible feelings!  

 

Being a bit tongue in cheek, of course. I couldn't do it, but if you can, I'm truly glad for you... It seems like a simpler way to live; I'm too fearful, I guess.  

Or, hooking up with some random then going back to your partner for a second session 😉

[Ominous]

9 hours ago, TUFKAK said:

Or, hooking up with some random then going back to your partner for a second session 😉

How's the crabs these days? 

[TUFKAK]

1 minute ago, Ominous said:

How's the crabs these days? 

How’s the worst sti treating you? Kids? 😉

[thedarkstark]

Smells like onions.

[Ominous]

29 minutes ago, TUFKAK said:

How’s the worst sti treating you? Kids? 😉

They'll wipe my ass when I'm old, so I'm good. 

[TUFKAK]

2 hours ago, Ominous said:

They'll wipe my ass when I'm old, so I'm good. 

All that for a minimum wage CNA? Poor trade bruh. 
 

Crabs>kids 

[Ominous]

9 minutes ago, TUFKAK said:

All that for a minimum wage CNA? Poor trade bruh. 
 

Crabs>kids 

I'd find all that social interaction with people exhausting. You do you, and everyone else I guess. I'll just continue avoiding people unless required to collect a paycheck. 

[TUFKAK]

1 minute ago, Ominous said:

I'd find all that social interaction with people exhausting. You do you, and everyone else I guess. I'll just continue avoiding people unless required to collect a paycheck. 

No longer enm, just two partners. I do miss all the randoms I used to have, but I still I enjoy my life.
 

Id legit rather have hiv than kids. And I make enough that, assuming I need it, I can pay someone to wipe my ass; that few hundred thousand looks much better in a mutual fund than on a finger painting on a fridge. But you do you, I’ll keep the crabs, or hiv.

[SuperSpreader]

I dunno I'm married I don't even know what dating on apps is like 

[best3444]

Red flags are they are liberal and atheist. 

 

[thedarkstark]

3 hours ago, best3444 said:

Red flags are they are liberal and atheist. 

 

Atheists are prudes, everyone knows agnostics are the freaks. They get off on the idea that there MIGHT be somebody watching 👀

[Ominous]

4 hours ago, best3444 said:

Red flags are they are liberal and atheist. 

 

Man we'll never be dtf. 😭

[Nokra]

I thought of another one:

 

When someone says they're apolitical.

[Fizzzzle]

1 hour ago, Nokra said:

I thought of another one:

 

When someone says they're apolitical.

I voted for Trump but I don't want to talk about it

[SuperSpreader]

6 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

I voted for Trump but I don't want to talk about it

 

Or they're just intellectually lazy because they benefit from the status quo. 

[gamer.tv]

I’ve witnessed the two sides of parenting today. My wife is away so I’ve been solo (which is fine and something I enjoy a lot). Having a great day, loads of playing, watching a movie, did our toddler rugby session…then it was 1pm and she hadn’t had a sleep yet. We crossed the point of no return as we were out to go and watch a circus so it was all fine until maybe…5pm when she became an angry mutant off and on until now (7.20pm) where she has fallen asleep after finally getting into bed - taking about 5 seconds to go from awake to fast asleep). Wife and her mum are back tomorrow so I’ll relinquish all responsibilities and hide in my office working. 

[Fizzzzle]

50 minutes ago, gamer.tv said:

I’ve witnessed the two sides of parenting today. My wife is away so I’ve been solo (which is fine and something I enjoy a lot). Having a great day, loads of playing, watching a movie, did our toddler rugby session…then it was 1pm and she hadn’t had a sleep yet. We crossed the point of no return as we were out to go and watch a circus so it was all fine until maybe…5pm when she became an angry mutant off and on until now (7.20pm) where she has fallen asleep after finally getting into bed - taking about 5 seconds to go from awake to fast asleep). Wife and her mum are back tomorrow so I’ll relinquish all responsibilities and hide in my office working. 

This is about DATING you MONOGOMOUS COMMITTED BITCH

 

no one wants to hear about your precious cherub

[Jason]

I'm pretty sure I don't want kids so saying she wants kids, doubly so if she's older than me (wanting kids at 24 is very different than wanting kids at 38) and/or has lots of pictures of herself with kids.

[Fizzzzle]

Just now, Jason said:

I'm pretty sure I don't want kids so saying she wants kids, doubly so if she's older than me (wanting kids at 24 is very different than wanting kids at 38) and/or has lots of pictures of herself with kids.

That's why I almost exclusively date women who already have kids. 1) no pressure on me, and 2) leaves me lots of time to fuck off and do whatever I want

 

My cousin has been with the same woman for almost 20 years. They finally moved in together like 2-3 years ago after her youngest son moved out. They live a tiny apartment in Hermosa Beach and just do fun shit all the time.

[Jason]

18 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

That's why I almost exclusively date women who already have kids. 1) no pressure on me, and 2) leaves me lots of time to fuck off and do whatever I want

 

My cousin has been with the same woman for almost 20 years. They finally moved in together like 2-3 years ago after her youngest son moved out. They live a tiny apartment in Hermosa Beach and just do fun shit all the time.

 

I'm even less interested in becoming a dad for someone else's kids. I'm never going to be an actual uncle unless I marry someone who has siblings with kids, but I think my child aspirations cap out at being an "uncle" for the kids of friends and cousins.

[Fizzzzle]

6 minutes ago, Jason said:

 

I'm even less interested in becoming a dad for someone else's kids. I'm never going to be an actual uncle unless I marry someone who has siblings with kids, but I think my child aspirations cap out at being an "uncle" for the kids of friends and cousins.

Try it out, it's great. They don't want you to be their dad - they already have one (hopefully). Baby daddy *certainly* doesn't want you stepping in on his territory.

 

Dating someone who already has a kid or two is kind of freeing. It's like "you do your thing, I'm gonna do my thing while you're doing your thing, and we'll just meet when it's convenient and baby daddy has the kids for the weekend."