Brick Posted January 27, 2021 Share Posted January 27, 2021 OK maybe a little late with this since Christmas was a month ago (and American Thanksgiving a month before that), but I was reminded of it since I always see Black people making fun of White people for not knowing how to season their food, especially their holiday turkeys which turn out dry and bland. Both my brother and sister don't like turkey, and it got me thinking that maybe it's how my mom seasons it at Christmas. So now I'm wondering if you guys know any good ways to season your turkeys so I can try it out next year. Feel free to also leave other good seasoning suggestions for us tasteless White people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 I season my turkey by getting a ham or lasagna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleG Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Tablespoon of the following Garlic Powder Salt Paprika Black Pepper Thyme Mix into a bowl with 2 cups of butter, not margarine but unsalted butter. Save about 1/4 of this for later. Use your hands to push the butter under the skin, get in everywhere. Once that is done take the left over butter mix and coat the outside, rub that bird down. I like to do a once over with more pepper and paprika. I do not stuff and I do not spatchcock . Juices at the bottom become gravy. I cook it in covered oven roaster pan, mine is about 40 years old. Not only does it cook faster but the skin get super crispy dark brown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 5 minutes ago, SimpleG said: Tablespoon of the following Garlic Powder Salt Paprika Black Pepper Thyme Mix into a bowl with 2 cups of butter, not margarine but unsalted butter. Save about 1/4 of this for later. Use your hands to push the butter under the skin, get in everywhere. Once that is done take the left over butter mix and coat the outside, rub that bird down. I like to do a once over with more pepper and paprika. I do not stuff and I do not spatchcock . Juices at the bottom become gravy. I cook it in covered oven roaster pan, mine is about 40 years old. Not only does it cook faster but the skin get super crispy dark brown. This sounds perfect. @Brick Make sure you spatchcock and dry brine the turkey for 24 hours first, then follow the above instructions. Just omit the salt of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleG Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Just now, Joe said: This sounds perfect. @Brick Make sure you spatchcock and dry brine the turkey for 24 hours first, then follow the above instructions. Just omit the salt of course. NEVER!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 2 minutes ago, SimpleG said: NEVER!! Admittedly it's a bit of a pain in the ass because a spatchcocked turkey is hard to fit on a roasting pan afterwards. Dry brining is a must, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleG Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Just now, Joe said: Admittedly it's a bit of a pain in the ass because a spatchcocked turkey is hard to fit on a roasting pan afterwards. Dry brining is a must, though. I prefer not to spatchcock but each his/her own Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Just now, SimpleG said: I prefer not to spatchcock but each his/her own Just because of the presentation or something else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleG Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 10 minutes ago, Joe said: Just because of the presentation or something else? Mostly just because Ive always had really good luck cooking them whole. It aint broke dont fix it type deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Posted January 28, 2021 Author Share Posted January 28, 2021 I had to look up what spatchcock is lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Just now, Brick said: I had to look up what spatchcock is lol Dry brining is salting the turkey generously and letting it rest uncovered in the fridge for a set amount of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skillzdadirecta Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 Stuff the cavity with a bunch of garlic and baste every 20 minutes to keep from it drying out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Posted January 28, 2021 Author Share Posted January 28, 2021 5 minutes ago, Joe said: Dry brining is salting the turkey generously and letting it rest uncovered in the fridge for a set amount of time. I remember seeing a video in cooking class back in high school where the guy covered the entire turkey with salt, like completely covered in a coat of salt. We were all like, "OMG eww that will be too salty", then I guess cooked it, and then cracked open the salt shell and took it off. Us students, "oooohhhh". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 imgur.com IMGUR.COM Imgur: The magic of the Internet The badboy from this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Vic20 Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 I pack my turkey in salt, after it has thawed, for about 24 hours before I cook it. Then I use gloves and work to break the connective tissue of the skin so I can get my hands directly on the turkey breast beneath the skin and I rub a mixture of garlic and butter with orange zest into it, then bake. It comes out juicy and tasty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ominous Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 By tossing it in the trash. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 4 hours ago, Brick said: I always see Black people making fun of White people for not knowing how to season their food, Good way to start the thread! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brick Posted January 28, 2021 Author Share Posted January 28, 2021 59 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said: Good way to start the thread! Have you never seen that online before? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 I knew @Joewas a racist pos but had no idea @Brickwas to. You guys should start your own group. You could call it the KKK. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 44 minutes ago, Biggie said: I knew @Joewas a racist pos but had no idea @Brickwas to. You guys should start your own group. You could call it the KKK. You r mom told you to clean the basement. Get to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 37 minutes ago, Joe said: You r mom told you to clean the basement. Get to it. Leave the insults for the trolls please 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 That’s how biggies mom burps him. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Joe said: You r mom told you to clean the basement. Get to it. 42 minutes ago, Joe said: That’s how biggies mom burps him. My mom is deceased. What else ya got? Try something more racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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