darkness35

So yeah what happened during the pandemic.

Filtered* heh.

At the 2020-2021 guidelines, I thought the rapid tests were only effective if you experienced symptoms within that time period. Only the PCR tests (which good luck finding now) were able to indicate a positive test within 2-5 days of exposure. I could be wrong, but idk. It gets weirder for those who get asymptomatic.

Yeah, wherever I am at now also pointed it out directly, and I still found out the hard way. Still answering and fixing some of those mistakes :\

Mind if I be blunt? What stood made me stand out in giving me so many chances back then? Especially when I declined the invite in returning to the discord, and when I later did nuke my socials temporarily by removing everyone off of my friends list(I'm leaving that separate for reasons; big reasons why I've requested to delete all instances of my online IDs)

It still doesn't change much with the current meta of Zimmermans/Stun Needles. Kinetic weapons need more buffs. Balteaus, Sea Spider, and Ibis were unfortunately nerfed to some degree. Shame, I did like the organic learning difficulty curve for this game. Trying to S-rank the missions now. Stuck with Ibis right now, but did find out resupplies do not affect rank. I'm not looking forward to Ayre, Walter, and Allmind fights.

Trumpers stay Trump. Good riddance, and sorry for the kid, their family, and support systems.

When did her symptoms begin? If it was the Alpha/Delta variant at the time, it would have been able to detect symptoms within 2-5 days onset. At the present moment the new variant for 2023 has been harder to detect, or rather it mimics other viruses/infections that people dismiss Covid as the first indicator. Specifically, I've been reading accounts that it can take up to 14 days of symptom onset to finally test positive for Covid. I'm not sure if I have had Covid again since November, but I've tried to stay masked for a while at my workplace, while staying at home or WFH. Still mask to this day; KN95s when I'm doing 1-2 hour errands, N95 when I'm out in the city, or outside in dense locations for more than 3+ hours.

So I'll cut to the chase. I didn't belong here. I had a lot of shit that was going on my end, from losing my relationship (100% my fault), grad school, the political climate, and the field placement/internship I was doing related to grad school. I did end up getting my MSW, became a temporary contact tracer before getting fired for some bullshit (payment/benefits/management was outsourced and outsourced to a company that had far too many complaints and vague handling), and eventually got my LSW some time in 2021. Discord and twitch communities were places I ended up being more familiar with and I ended up sticking with that over here. Plus, with my edgy personality at the time, I pretty much was a volatile and hostile person to get along with, and got pissed off with the usual shenanigans that was happening here and discord, including me getting booted because certain individuals kept on spamming with low-content. Before I go into a more personal issues happening, I do want to call out a few things. @ALIEN-gunner, I don't know what happened to you before 2016-2017, but my god you turned into a Trump incel and it got obnoxious really fucking quickly. Even an 8 year old kid has more potential for intuition and emotional capacity. I wouldn't be surprised you were celebrating 1/6/2021. Seeing how you haven't been as active as of late, good riddance to you. @Anathema-, my issue with you was that you had a big bias against my own actions, and often chose to hold me accountable for 100% of the consequences. In retrospect I was pretty stupid, but it was good that you weren't a moderator in this community anymore, and I still remember how you acted an untouchable double-chinned asshole. Although reading around seems like you had some milestones, so if that humbled you, great. @lucian04 or whatever his username is nowadays. Honestly, I thought you were a respectable guy. I wasn't even going to bother calling you out, but when I confided to you about my suicide attempt back then, you made a shit remark about how I should have used a gun instead of 100 tylenols. And honestly, I'm glad you were wrong, and that I chose to dismiss that toxic mindset of yours. Shit's still rough, but at least I'm still alive to be better in every moment now. Rest of the D1P folks, yeah. I'll be honest. I wasn't great back then. Still not great. I only came by to see how this old community I once called home among many other places was. Some of it remains unchanged, some people have moved on for better or worse, and some people remain stagnant for the past 10 years (good/bad/neutral). So right anyway. Past few months after dealing with a lot of post-employment stuff had me thinking about a lot about my past. Work supervisor and LCSW supervisor both brought a lot of "why does certain things causing a specific reaction," and what's causing my drive to be the way I am. I disclosed to a few people here that I had a real shit situation growing up with family due my mental health history, and fighting to get attention/validation/love from my family who at this point were emotionally unavailable. My 1 year 4 month stint at the non-profit gave me enough insight that they were awful, and I had my former team support that. So when you have emotionally distant, dismissive, and unavailable parents who then end up similar traits to my families and clients, I realized that a lot of my own reactions were because I never had the skills to communicate and feel safe with my own feelings/emotions. The whole "fight for your worth, fight for your place, fight for your own survival," was basically the reason why I was this obnoxious idiot back then. I sounded arrogant, but it was a mask to show that I didn't know anything or wasn't good enough. I wanted to impress to show that I had potential; I probably did but the emotional/mental stuff was not fully there. Compounded that I haven't been home with family and dealing with this for more than half of my lifetime, I needed a place to belong. That's why I stuck with IGN boards, other online forums, Day One Patch, Twitch, Discord, and so forth. And recently, in addition to my past, my main flaw has been my own anxiety. Maybe I was bipolar, ADHD, or under the ASD spectrum, but I was in no way Oppositional Defiant as a main diagnosis. In hindsight, it's probably why I committed suicide because the cocktail of medications I was given never addressed how to deal with anxiety. Tracing back to parents, I was told to suppress, ignore, and get over shit that bothered me. Or if I said and did the wrong thing, punishment followed. I sought validation in the wrong fucking places, and while I had a relationship between 2013-2019, I ended up destroying it with my own actions. I hurt people out of my own co-dependency needs because I didn't have the family/friend support that I wanted. It's another reason why I had poor boundaries with people. Hell, that was pretty evident in why I took things personal with the people above, or when Cmack and @CastlevaniaNut18got fed up with me (or I did at the end). I'm probably rambling at this point, but let's just say I remember a lot of shit that most people have either moved on, or forgot about. I've yet to find my own closure so far in a lot of things. There's more to it on my end, as I rather not get into the specifics, since I still remember how closed-minded folks here are. But yeah, I guess this former kid moved out of their nest and found their own path to life. Anyway, @SaysWho?hopefully that answers your "hey what happened to @darkness35" Again it's only been 4 years since I've left, but at the same time too much has happened in 4 years. This whole community is what... 13 years old now? We're all old and been through things.

Still not going to be good enough; supposedly the rapid tests have not been accurate with the latest variants. Anecdotal observances of course, but it's left me a bit skeptical.

Ever since I caught Covid on the week of Thanksgiving I haven't been feeling 100%. Felt like my energy is a lot more sapped than usual, and mood-wise it's been incredibly stressful, although there's a lot that contributed to that. Some bullshit insurance billing is making people pay for $200 when they claimed it was of free of charge. For now, Federal Government is rebooting the free covid tests per household. Idk when.

You're trying to preach to a choir that's filled with only your ego, and assuming that your own experiences can mold onto others. No offense, but I stopped reading when you said "you're me when I turned 18."

Honestly with all the shit I've been dealing I'm surprised I'm rather alive, although in a chronic survival state that shouldn't even be regarded as healthy. With work being that one big stress and having the burden of helping them as much as possible (being that breakthrough success for families involved within the CPS for many years), having to deal with so much friendship drama/stress, and identity issues, I'm not even sure where or at what spectrum I am currently in right now. I'm alive, yet dead, yet apathetic, yet empathetic.

More Holocure shenanigans. I'm Die Thank You Forever is such a good collab weapon

Depends on how organized the communities are. If you're doing specific projects for different departments/issues/topic it works for what it's worth.

Disagree, I think it was a return to the console/handheld era for Fire Emblem. With the switch being a highly successful device, it definitely contributed to the success for 3H.

What about the community threads section that got implemented a few months ago? Did that just end up dying out?

Well that escalated. Guess I didn't miss much, for better or worse to my sanity at the time.

An odd moment where I come back to see how things have been. Sounds like you're all more active on the discord server than here.

Well, you got the old part right. Unsure if I'm really a friend.

Wrong. It's Kiwi.

Another one -DJ Khaled