Fizzzzle

Idea. I can't remember if you're vegan or just vegetarian, but hear me out, I think I have a good idea for a vegetarian holiday casserole (lasagna is a casserole, fight me) Quick vegetarian holiday lasagna: - wonton wraps (if you can find them in your area, I find they work just as well if not better than dried lasagna noodles, plus they're always vegan and they don't need to be soaked) - Instead of marinara sauce, make a mushroom/cranberry duxelles (I'd estimate 3 parts mushroom to 1 part cranberry, you'll need to slightly up the salt content) - 1 layer of portobello for texture, unless you don't like portobello, in which case.... don't do that. I would probably actually use zucchini, personally - Ricotta (whether or not ricotta belongs in traditional lasagna is a highly contentious debate, I say go for it, especially in this context, bechamel will be too goopy) Start at the bottom with a layer of your mushroom/cranberry duxelles Put down a layer of wonton wraps - they can overlap for full coverage if necessary Put down a layer of either sliced portobello or zucchini - if you're going zucchini, you'll have to par cook it first. I would suggest broiling, otherwise it'll get soggy Alternate between duxelles/"noodles"/ricotta/mushroom and/or zucchini in whichever order you like Top with a layer of fresh grated mozzarella and a sprinkle of parmesan and/or pecorino For the duxelles, make sure to put some sage and rosemary in it for extra holiday flavor. I don't have a duxelles recipe memorized, but it's not hard, It's just mushrooms, onions, garlic, butter, spices, and in this case cranberry. Don't go nuts on the cranberry otherwise you'll end up with really shitty cranberry jam. I suppose you could omit the butter if you're going vegan, but I haven't tried it and I wouldn't use just anything as a fat substitute (and you'll need a fat substitute)

Oooh, sweet pickles is a good pick. They're gross. I feel like I should love sauerkraut. Everything about it is something that I should like. And I love kimchi, which is just spicy sauerkraut. The problem is I was forced to eat sauerkraut as a kid by my grandma, who made it from scratch. My grandma was a brilliant woman, but a horrendous cook. Just the smell of sauerkraut is enough to make me gag to this day. But I recognize that it's a 'me' problem, not a problem with sauerkraut in general.

(seriously though, the fact that we cheer on the brutalization of prison inmates when we feel like they deserve it is an actual problem that contributes heavily to our incarceration problem, we need to generally not do it)

No, not takoyaki, if that's what you're thinking. This was raw. It had a super grainy/gloopy texture edit: Now that I think about it, it kind of had the same texture as raw sea urchin, but I know that isn't what it was. It was just like a gross version of that.

I can't think of any time I've had eggplant where it has been appreciated. Also there was this one time I ate a sushi place in Japan that served me something that was described as "octopus testicles." Octopus (octopi?) don't have testicles, so I have no idea what it actually was. It was honestly revolting. And I've eaten some weird shit in my days.

I think ranch and mayo have their place, but an overabundance of creaminess is not generally a texture I want with my food. It's the same reason I don't like avocado in anything other than chip dips

You are, in all likelihood, better than most people at writing songs if it's something you actually practice at. I can say that with 100% certainty.

That's exactly when you bring up the fact that you identify as "they/them" now. TEST THE LIMITS OF YOUR FAMILY'S LOVE

Y'know, what you said about your job and the fact that you ARE good at it but you don't want to be... that kind of hits home. I can make a better margarita than 99.9999% of the population of the world. Maybe even more than that. That's not a bragging thing, it's just like... that's been my job for the last 15 years. You do anything for 15 years, you'll get really fucking good at it. But surely there's something that you're good at that people wouldn't expect.

Yeah I should probably cut back, huh.

You should run for Congress

Implying that being taller is better. #CANCELED

Could do works, I suppose. Just know it makes you sound like Uncle Rico.

Anything counts.

Look at this fucking guy over here with his big shot dental insurance. Otherwise known as Big D insurance to those in the know.

I spent so much of my life being insecure about my teeth, then I realized nearly 100% of celebrities have fake teeth. If you're measuring your stained ass wooden cleavers against the Kardashians' pearly whites... it's because their pearly whites are fake. Not to say there's anything wrong with having fake teeth. Just saying don't feel bad about your teeth being yellow or crooked - so would theirs if they didn't get fresh veneers every few years.

My top wisdom teeth could get pulled no problem, but my bottom wisdom teeth require a surgical extraction... That's expensive.

ALEX will HAMMER your... Climate change proposals or whatever, and look FABULOUS while doing it! Have both of his feet ever touched the ground at the same time?! NO! He was born that fabulous. Get fuuuuucked 2024

It probably wouldn't cost that much to pass out leaflets in his district ...

Yeah, well... It is what it is. I'm tired of my teeth. I've wanted to get veneers for a long time and I haven't quite been able to make it happen.

.... Write in candidate?

Also I count my blessings every day that at least I wasn't run over by a truck.

It could always be worse. The minute you think "this can't get worse" is the minute it does. My tooth is still there, which I think is the only reason it doesn't hurt like the dickins. Hopefully it will last the weekend.

It could be worse. At least it doesn't hurt as long as I don't chew on anything.