GeneticBlueprint Posted July 25, 2023 Share Posted July 25, 2023 Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Chicago Bears | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Chicago Bears. Your 2022 record: 3-14. This was the worst team in football a […] Quote For something like the 60th season in a row, the Bears are trying to force a WR1 out of someone who is not a WR1. Add in Claypool and perpetual “This guy is so dangerous” tweet Darnell Mooney, and Chicago's whole receiving corps is guys you pick up in Week 11 because you didn't plan for your byes appropriately. It me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Eberflus won’t be a good coach cause his name is too weird. It’s got all the wrong vibes; it sounds like a prescription medication for congestion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneticBlueprint Posted July 27, 2023 Author Share Posted July 27, 2023 Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Houston Texans | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2023 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Houston Texans. Your 2022 record: 3-13-1. Another year of successfully not existing. Would you […] The absolute worst professional sports team name that ever existed. By default that should put these guys very first on this list every year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneticBlueprint Posted July 28, 2023 Author Share Posted July 28, 2023 First comment on the article: I made the mistake of not following that advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted July 28, 2023 Share Posted July 28, 2023 "This is the most goatee-and-sunburn intensive fanbase in the sport. It averages 2.3 divorces per every season ticket holder. If you’re wondering how the Cardinals can exist for this long and suck the entire time, you only need to look at the Bidwill family, and then back at these fans, and then out at the desiccated wasteland surrounding them. Nothing fucking grows here. Everything for miles is just sand and dead animals. The temperature will never fall below 115 again. That’s why these fans are both stupid and easily ignored. It’s why guns are used as currency here. It’s why the only people who retire to Arizona are people too poor to retire to Florida. " This had me cackling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b_m_b_m_b_m Posted July 31, 2023 Share Posted July 31, 2023 Quote The fans were even less likable. There are no worse hillbillies out there than Ohio hillbillies: walking around the tailgate lot in overalls and no shirt, dried chili stains in their chest hair, drinking an open beer they found sitting out behind a nearby high school. When these mutants drooled WHO DEY at the top of their lungs, 24/7, during the Esiason years, I wished I was as deaf as I now currently am. So last season represents the exact right amount of good fortune I’d like the Bengals to have. Anything past that and you open Kentuckydora’s Box. No thank you. Go back to your caves, people. This is so accurate it hurts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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