nvm

[Fizzzzle]

deleted

[CastlevaniaNut18]

I read it!

[Fizzzzle]

13 minutes ago, CastlevaniaNut18 said:

I read it!

Totally fine. It's not one of those "oh fuck why did I post that" kind of thing, just like... "it felt like narcissistic poopoo" kind of thing.

 

I didn't say anything bad.

[CastlevaniaNut18]

Just now, Fizzzzle said:

Totally fine. It's not one of those "oh fuck why did I post that" things, just like... "it felt like narcissistic poopoo" kind of thing.

 

I didn't say anything bad.

I didn't think it was. Being bipolar is a bitch. Starting to get used to that since switching to psych nursing.

[Mr.Vic20]

I love reading Fizzzzle in the moment thoughts, keep em' coming! 

[Fizzzzle]

12 minutes ago, CastlevaniaNut18 said:

I didn't think it was. Being bipolar is a bitch. Starting to get used to that since switching to psych nursing.

The thing that sucks is that there's an inverse relationship between how good I outwardly present and how fucked I am on the inside. For some people, it's the depressive episodes that's the hard part. Not for me. I can manage my depressive episodes. It's during my manic episodes that I feel like a 6 year old juggling firecrackers. Like, yeah, I'm more positive, upbeat, gregarious, and outgoing, but I feel like I'm completely out of control. And I don't realize it's happening until it's far too late and I've probably already done something really fucking stupid.

 

I have a natural penchant for self destructive behavior as it is, plus I'm something of a nihilist. when I go into a manic episode it's like the pace car gets removed and it's all-systems-go on the self destruction choo-choo. That's why the manic episodes scare me. It's like I become the living embodiment of YOLO. That may have been funny and edgy (and even attractive to some people) at 23, but not at 33.

[gamer.tv]

Like most people, I had little overall awareness of mental health (and how common it is) until the openness that permeated the 2010s - of which I’m very thankful.

 

I think my first real understanding of Bipolar Disorder came from a Stephen Fry documentary- where he came forward as a sufferer and it was massively eye opening. 

[Fizzzzle]

9 hours ago, gamer.tv said:

Like most people, I had little overall awareness of mental health (and how common it is) until the openness that permeated the 2010s - of which I’m very thankful.

 

I think my first real understanding of Bipolar Disorder came from a Stephen Fry documentary- where he came forward as a sufferer and it was massively eye opening. 

For sure. When I was a kid, the very idea of sending me to therapy would have been anathema to my mom. My brother went to therapy for a while, but it was court ordered after an incident that happened while my parents were getting divorced (long story). My mom was definitely in the "suck it up" mindset. The thing is I can't "suck it up." It requires constant vigilance to figure out when I'm having an episode of some kind and I don't always make it before I do something stupid.

 

If I knew what I know now and could travel back in time I would be like "GET YOUR KIDS TO A THERAPIST PRONTO!"

 

I wish it was possible for everyone to go to therapy. Just having someone who listens to what you're going through, who doesn't care about your parents or your partner or your kids or whoever who is singly, objectively focused on you.