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Anybody here ever use dating sites before?

Remarkableriots

By Remarkableriots
in The Shower

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Nokra

Nokra

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I've used Tinder, Spotted, and OKCupid. I had decent success with all three of them as far as meeting women goes. None of the relationships lasted terribly long (the longest being 1 year but it should have ended much sooner) but I think that has more to do with general compatibility than the quality of person one might meet on those sites. 

 

I see them as basically just another way to meet people, no better or worse than in a bar. :shrug:

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Bloodporne

Bloodporne

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I've used Tinder for the first time in the last 10 months or so but I'm really lucky in terms of being in the NYC area. It's absolutely jam-packed with people so it's easy to hook up or go on dates. I can imagine it being difficult in less populated area since the "hit ratio" of actually talking to someone cool is very low even here. 

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SaysWho?

SaysWho?

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OKCupid used to be good, but they changed the messaging system and made it shitty. You can no longer directly message someone as there's no inbox, and if someone does send you a "message," you'll only see it if you come across them while swiping, which removed its uniqueness.

 

I actually had success with Bumble if you're interested in using apps.

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Keyser_Soze

Keyser_Soze

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1 minute ago, SaysWho? said:

OKCupid used to be good, but they changed the messaging system and made it shitty. You can no longer directly message someone as there's no inbox, and if someone does send you a "message," you'll only see it if you come across them while swiping, which removed its uniqueness.

 

I liked the change. You just have to like someone to send them a message now instead of sending a message blind.

 

Did you get mine yet? :batting:

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SaysWho?

SaysWho?

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Just now, Keyser_Soze said:

 

I liked the change. You just have to like someone to send them a message now instead of sending a message blind.

 

Did you get mine yet? :batting:

 

Oh, you bet. :] 

 

The thing with sending messages whenever is that someone may have otherwise skipped past you, or never encountered you on their search, but could like your message and consider it better than some of the other weird shit they see. When I used it before meeting my current g/f, it didn't last long since I was no longer having conversations with anyone. For many people now, they'll get a notification that someone messaged them but they'll have to scroll through a list of people in hopes that they see the message, which is really just an added paragraph on their bio. 

 

Plus, the way it works now, the other person has to actively use the app. You could send a message to someone who wasn't swiping a ton and get noticed. It just removed what made it unique.

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SaysWho?

SaysWho?

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2 hours ago, Keyser_Soze said:

If you got messaged it generally floats around the top of your list or in the double take. Also, you get an indicator on their name that they messaged you.

 

Yeah, I wish I had that experience. :p 

 

From what I understand, OKCupid was bought by Match, so maybe they just want to drive people to the stuff you have to pay for. Which would be SHOCKING!

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Jason

Jason

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1 hour ago, SaysWho? said:

OKCupid used to be good, but they changed the messaging system and made it shitty. You can no longer directly message someone as there's no inbox, and if someone does send you a "message," you'll only see it if you come across them while swiping, which removed its uniqueness.

 

OkCupid got bought by the same company that owns Match and Tinder a while back. I'm convinced they're intentionally ruining OkCupid to try to force people into paying for Match.

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Jason

Jason

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1 hour ago, SaysWho? said:

 

Oh, you bet. :] 

 

The thing with sending messages whenever is that someone may have otherwise skipped past you, or never encountered you on their search, but could like your message and consider it better than some of the other weird shit they see. When I used it before meeting my current g/f, it didn't last long since I was no longer having conversations with anyone. For many people now, they'll get a notification that someone messaged them but they'll have to scroll through a list of people in hopes that they see the message, which is really just an added paragraph on their bio. 

 

Plus, the way it works now, the other person has to actively use the app. You could send a message to someone who wasn't swiping a ton and get noticed. It just removed what made it unique.

 

The fact that they also completely removed the ability to get an idea of when someone was last online makes me think they must be trying to hide having a lot of dead accounts. I can understand taking away telling you EXACTLY when someone was last online but they should have at least put it down to the same granularity they let you filter on (online now, online within the last day, online within the last week). Between that and taking away open messaging it actually increases the proportion of shitty messages people are gonna send. If I don't know if I'm messaging a dead account, and if I don't know if the person will ever know I sent the message even if they're an active account, why am I going to waste my time writing anything thoughtful?

 

Plus you still see girls' profiles with stuff like "I can't see likes, so send me a message." They've clearly broken the site so that it no longer works the way their users expect it to.

 

And the blog post justifying all these changes was so insulting. A small percentage of their user base said they were having problems so they ruined it for everyone, and the justifications they gave...ugh.

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Keyser_Soze

Keyser_Soze

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21 minutes ago, Jason said:

 

The fact that they also completely removed the ability to get an idea of when someone was last online makes me think they must be trying to hide having a lot of dead accounts. I can understand taking away telling you EXACTLY when someone was last online but they should have at least put it down to the same granularity they let you filter on (online now, online within the last day, online within the last week)

 

Well I'd imagine if you filtered your search to "Last online: In the past week" or "online now" that would give you a good idea of when they were last online.

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Jason

Jason

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3 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

 

Well I'd imagine if you filtered your search to "Last online: In the past week" or "online now" that would give you a good idea of when they were last online.

 

Except that's not the only way to find people. They're pushing people toward using the Tinder-like experience and with that you have absolutely no idea if they were online a day ago or a month ago.

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