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Football Deadspin's "Why Your Team Sucks 2019" has started - today: Seattle Seahawks

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Hey, I'm not even a fan of the Titans!


I will say this, this comment is spot on:


The Titans have been the living, breathing personification of bland mediocrity for the better part of 20 years now. I grew up south of Nashville and was a sophomore in college when the Tennessee Oilers rolled into Memphis (good Lord what a fucking disaster that was). Somehow the Tennessee Oilers in their, what...two seasons managed to have more personality, if for no other reason than the incongruous nickname and logo and playing in a 3/4s empty Liberty Bowl because people from Memphis would be damned by an angry God before they supported a team using them as a bus stop before travelling on to Nashville. 

Their record both seasons? 8-8. Born to underwhelm.


I was at the Steelers game in Memphis one of those years. Me, my dad, and my uncle all went down to watch the Steelers get stomped 16-6 by the tEnNeSsEe OiLeRs in shitty, wet, snow flurry weather in the middle of a grey winter. 



Also, this letter is incredibly correct. Dude has to live in Nashville to get this 100% correct:



But enough about the Titans. Let’s talk NASHVILLE BABY. We had the draft!! Everybody enjoy that? I did not. I spent that whole week dodging guys named Kyle in Eagles jerseys riding around on Bird scooters.


The draft is a symptom of a larger disease. Nashville rode the “It” city status just long enough to sell its soul to corporate interests. I guess it was only a matter of time. Amazon, AllianceBernstein, EY, and Apple are all opening satellite shops. 5,000 people here, 2,000 people there. Basically playing just-the-tip with our city to get absurd sweetheart deals.


Tennessee put Marsha Blackburn in the senate. The leading opioid extortionist and climate denier. The governor, who inherited his wealth from a fucking air conditioning company, named a day Nathaniel Bedford Forrest Day.


Nashville is landlocked, hot as shit, newly expensive, culturally dead, and ascetically unappealing. It’s full of racists feigning as libertarians and horny mayors.


The new Nashville is people from other places cosplaying Southerners cosplaying people from LA: a manufactured feedback loop for the asinine.


Did I mention our coach said he’d cut his own dick off to win a Super Bowl? Titan Up.



As one commenter on the Nashville Reddit said, come for the bashing the team. Stay for the bashing of Nashville itself. 

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They got fleeced on the Antonio trade by Jon freaking Gruden. That’s like the US losing a ground war against the KISS Army.



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