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TwinIon

Movies The 'Cats' Movie Looks Nuts. Just Absolutely Bonkers, update - the movie is literally getting a "Day One Patch"

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I dunno I got kinda used to it by the end of the trailer. Wasn’t as bad as the comments in this thread made it out to be 🤷🏻‍♂️

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I'm telling you guys: this movie is the vehicle that finally allows furries to enter the mainstream consciousness.

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4 minutes ago, SFLUFAN said:

I'm telling you guys: this movie is the vehicle that finally allows furries to enter the mainstream consciousness.

 

Don't encourage his reposting Wade smfh. 

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2 hours ago, Mercury33 said:

I dunno I got kinda used to it by the end of the trailer. Wasn’t as bad as the comments in this thread made it out to be 🤷🏻‍♂️

 

I mean everything about the musical is just as ridiculous as the trailer, not less so.

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we literally have a thread on this that has stayed near the top of the forum. You'd have to try to miss it.

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11 minutes ago, Bacon said:

Great, something else to create more fucking furries. 

 

Furries definitely fuck. 

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7 hours ago, Jose said:

 

I mean everything about the musical is just as ridiculous as the trailer, not less so.

 

Oh I agree 100%. The musical itself is completely stupid and nonsensical. 

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39 minutes ago, silentbob said:

I think I’ll stick to the movie series that really started the whole furry craze thank you very much

 

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On 7/18/2019 at 7:53 AM, Mercury33 said:

I don’t get it at all. I saw the original on Broadway and just...why? I mean the music is fun(I guess that answers my question) but the story in nonsensical and it’s just so fucking weird but not in a cool or fun way. 

The music sucks.  I (my mom) paid good money for a full orchestra... oh wait, one weird nerd on a synthesizer that makes homemade replicas of Star Trek phasers in his spare time! :talkhand:

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Reading all these reactions reminds me of the School Principal from Jersey Girl where every single kid and parent picks Memories from Cats to perform for everyone. Then they get to Ben and his kid doing Sweeney Todd and the lady is just so happy and relieved to hear that it ain’t Cats.

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I mean, they look like cats and I won't see the movie but I'm not weirded out by it as many of you seem to be. 

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6 minutes ago, Anzo said:

I mean, they look like cats and I won't see the movie but I'm not weirded out by it as many of you seem to be. 

 

Yeah I think it looks pretty good. It's like they had an idea of what they wanted it to look like, a human but also a cat.

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The fact that I find Jennifer Hudson's singing voice like nails on a chalkboard did not help that trailer. That's going to be a mess.

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An odd trailer that seems to focus on the story instead of the music. It's been a while, but I don't remember a lick of what Cats is actually about. It always just seemed like a vehicle for the music

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43 minutes ago, TwinIon said:

An odd trailer that seems to focus on the story instead of the music. It's been a while, but I don't remember a lick of what Cats is actually about. It always just seemed like a vehicle for the music

I've never seen it, but my sister took her daughter to see it recently, and they said there's basically zero plot. I guess if you're going to spend this much (too much) money on a big Hollywood adaptation like this, you might as well try to jam some kind of story structure in there. 

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the reviews are in and it is a horrible as we thought it would be, the reviews are quite entertaining though

 

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cats_2019

 

https://www.metacritic.com/movie/cats

 

it is a 16% on RT which is of course terrible but the average review is about a 3/10 which is apocalypticly bad 

 

 

stolen from reddit

Boston Globe

My eyes are burning. Oh God, my eyes.

Collider

Can you make a movie so bad that the Academy takes back your Best Director Oscar? Asking for Tom Hooper.

The Beat

Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.

Hollywood Reporter

Cat-astrophic.

LA Times

"Cats” is both a horror and an endurance test.

Slashfilm

There is a thin line between idiocy and genius, and Cats pukes a hairball on it and rubs its ass all over it.

Variety

Nine may not be enough lives for some of the stars to live down their involvement in this poorly conceived and executed adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s hit musical.

Little White Lies

I felt the light inside me slowly fading.

The Playlist

Once Tom Hooper's 110 minutes of Cats are over, theater is dead. And we unchosen ones are left, tragically, to continue living.

New York Times

It's amazing to see what Adult Swim can accomplish with a $100 million budget. I never knew Tom Hooper was capable of making a surrealist nightmare that would rival Jodorowsky, that could baffle David Lynch, that would prompt even the dark god Cthulhu to emit an impressed eldritch shriek of “nehehehehehe”

Vulture

To assess Cats as good or bad feels like the entirely wrong axis on which to see it. It is, with all affection, a monstrosity.

The Daily Telegraph

Glad to report that Cats is everything you’d hoped for and more: a mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten by a parasite. A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a migraine.

Den of Geek

One of the weirdest and most garish monstrosities to be birthed out of the Hollywood studio system in this century.

Vanity Fair

It’s an ugly stray who smells bad and should not be invited into your home, certainly. And yet it is its own kind of living creature, worthy of at least some basic compassion.

The Guardian

A purr-fectly dreadful hairball of woe. 1/5.

Indiewire

Tom Hooper’s feline musical is an absurd and exuberant mess. This visually dense adaptation of the Andrew Lloyd Webber hit is at once too crazy for this world, and not quite crazy enough.

Newsday

Fans of the stage musical may swoon, but others will be severely allergic.

The Wrap

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s feline fantasy musical becomes a garish hairball. It’s hard to “ruin” Webber’s already strange musical, but Tom Hooper’s wrongheaded attempt certainly tries. Tom Hooper’s jarring fever dream of a spectacle is like something that escaped from Dr. Moreau’s creature laboratory instead of a poet’s and a composer’s feline (uni)verse, an un-catty valley hybrid of physical and digital that unsettles and crashes way more often than it enchants.

Bleeding Cool

Cats is a strange beast to begin with, but the combination of strange CGI makes the translation from stage to screen even worse.

Slant

This adaptation gets straight to the heart of the material, which is basically two hours of stray cats introducing themselves.

Rendy Reviews

On a scale of one to Zemeckis, Hooper's Cats boldly goes beyond the uncanny valley and creates a tier of its own.

Screen Junkies

A spectacular disaster...This movie feels like a prank but I don't know on whom.

The Jam Report

The most inexplicably bizarre film of the year, it's jawdropping for all the wrong reasons.

RTE Ireland

First off, full disclosure - I am not a cat person. Second off - after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, I'm not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either.

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4 hours ago, elbobo said:

 

 

So what you're saying is MST3K should cover this movie? 

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4 hours ago, elbobo said:

Slashfilm

There is a thin line between idiocy and genius, and Cats pukes a hairball on it and rubs its ass all over it.

 

:lol:

 

This is worth it just for the reviews.

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I've been enjoying the hell out of these reviews.

 

I want to point out that The Guardian review is a riff on a T. S. Eliot poem called The Naming of Cats that is one of the musical numbers in the play.

 

 

Yes, 2019 was the year that the Skywalker and Infinity sagas came to a close. It was the year of Joker, The Irishman, and Parasite. But perhaps most of all, this year in film may well be defined by Cats. A Jellicle year if there ever was one.

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30 minutes ago, Brick said:

It'll probably still make bank. Hell, people might go see it out of morbid curiosity. 

 

Going up against star wars?

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Someone at Metacritic is having fun today.

 

CATS
It's not as bad as it looks. Correction: We just read the reviews, and it is in fact exactly that bad.

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2 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

 

Going up against star wars?

 

Just means it'll make less money than it would have if there was no Star Wars :p

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1 hour ago, Jason said:

 

So what you're saying is MST3K should cover this movie? 

 

they try not to riff movies that will traumatize children for life and/or are barely disguised weird porn

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There are 2 groups of people who can make this a success. The people who loved the stage musical and the forgotten FURRIES!!! They should be going in droves to see their kind represented on screen. . . but theatres probably won’t allow them to wear their “real skins” or costumes to see it. They can thank The Dark Knight for that 

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