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Philosophically, what's the point of frozen pizza?


Chris-

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The Aldi near me recently carried Home Run Inn frozen pizzas, which are often highly ranked in terms of frozen pizzas. So, I decided to buy one! And it's making me question the point of 'frozen pizza' as a medium. Don't get me wrong! It is far and away the best frozen pizza I've ever had; nothing else tops it. But in terms of overall quality, it's pretty mediocre; I would say any chain delivery place would be just as good if not better. So really, what's the point? Is a $7 frozen pizza that takes 20 minutes to bake really worth it compared to a $12 chain delivery that takes 30 minutes to arrive? I honestly don't think so! If I'm deep in the throes of desperation, I'd rather pay the extra $5/10 minutes and get a better pizza.

 

In short, fuck frozen pizza. 

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20 minutes ago, Chris- said:

The Aldi near me recently carried Home Run Inn frozen pizzas, which are often highly ranked in terms of frozen pizzas. So, I decided to buy one! And it's making me question the point of 'frozen pizza' as a medium. Don't get me wrong! It is far and away the best frozen pizza I've ever had; nothing else tops it. But in terms of overall quality, it's pretty mediocre; I would say any chain delivery place would be just as good if not better. So really, what's the point? Is a $7 frozen pizza that takes 20 minutes to bake really worth it compared to a $12 chain delivery that takes 30 minutes to arrive? I honestly don't think so! If I'm deep in the throes of desperation, I'd rather pay the extra $5/10 minutes and get a better pizza.

 

In short, fuck frozen pizza. 

I agree. I drunk ordered a Papa Johns last night and while it wasn’t amazing it was a hell of a lot better than any frozen pizza I could have prepared. 

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My go-to is the $7.99 large 3 topping carry out from Dominos. I can place the order and pay for it online, so I barely have to involve another human in my shame food transaction. It takes roughly 15-17 minutes from the time I place the order to have a large box full of shitty food on the table. 

 

If I didn’t have a Dominos so close to me, and if the oven in my apartment wasn’t super shitty, I would just get frozen pizzas instead. Pizza is generally a “fuck it” food, and fuck it, frozen is good enough for me. 

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3 minutes ago, TheLeon said:

My go-to is the $7.99 large 3 topping carry out from Dominos. I can place the order and pay for it online, so I barely have to involve another human in my shame food transaction. It takes roughly 15-17 minutes from the time I place the order to have a large box full of shitty food on the table. 

 

If I didn’t have a Dominos so close to me, and if the oven in my apartment wasn’t super shitty, I would just get frozen pizzas instead. Pizza is generally a “fuck it” food, and fuck it, frozen is good enough for me. 

 

But as you pointed out, the time/price considerations of 'fuck it' food are easily met with shitty delivery pizza. 

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I don't like Pizza Hut at all. I'd rather eat no pizza than eat Pizza Hut. 

This is the best frozen Pizza. I really recommend it. 

0c1b42a9-c078-4eef-8117-9c2335570b97_1.7

 

Red Baron Brick Oven is also really good for the value. It is like 3.50 for the pizza and it is better than a Pizza Hut or Little Caesars pizza. 

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4 minutes ago, Bacon said:

Red Baron Brick Oven is also really good for the value. It is like 3.50 for the pizza and it is better than a Pizza Hut or Little Caesars pizza. 

 

Fuck out of here, no it is not. Even Home Run Inn - the best of the frozen pizzas - tastes like the type of pizza you'd get from a skating rink snack stand.

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1 minute ago, Chris- said:

 

Fuck out of here, no it is not. Even Home Run Inn - the best of the frozen pizzas - tastes like the type of pizza you'd get from a skating rink snack stand.

No. LC and Pizza Hut are awful. I will never eat another pizza from either place again. I really don't like their pizzas. 

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2 hours ago, Chris- said:

 

But as you pointed out, the time/price considerations of 'fuck it' food are easily met with shitty delivery pizza. 

Well, that $8 I quoted is good for carry-out only, which I only do because I live less than a mile from the nearest Dominos. But you’re talking delivery, so let’s look at that.  If I get that same pizza delivered, or look for similar deal, it’s closer to $12. Then there’s a delivery fee, plus a tip because I’m not a monster, and suddenly a whole Jackson is gone. If I can get comparable meal for about $5, I’m going to take that deal every time.

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1 hour ago, Chris- said:

The Aldi near me recently carried Home Run Inn frozen pizzas, which are often highly ranked in terms of frozen pizzas. So, I decided to buy one! And it's making me question the point of 'frozen pizza' as a medium. Don't get me wrong! It is far and away the best frozen pizza I've ever had; nothing else tops it. But in terms of overall quality, it's pretty mediocre; I would say any chain delivery place would be just as good if not better. So really, what's the point? Is a $7 frozen pizza that takes 20 minutes to bake really worth it compared to a $12 chain delivery that takes 30 minutes to arrive? I honestly don't think so! If I'm deep in the throes of desperation, I'd rather pay the extra $5/10 minutes and get a better pizza.

 

In short, fuck frozen pizza. 

 

$12 for the pizza $3-$4 for delivery and then tip , so almost $20 for delivery. Average delivery time is closer to an hour where I live. 

Frozen pizza is nasty shit but I can see why people would eat it.

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You get frozen pizza when it’s on sale for $3/$4 to leave in the fridge for a day you really don’t care and just need to eat something. 

 

If I want pizza it’s usually at lunch or on my way home so I’ll just grab a slice at a near by place for $5 (it’s 1/4 of a large pizza) and that is more than enough pizza to be eating.

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Where the fuck are you where you get pizza delivered for $12?! The cheapest place around here I can get an extra large (because I have to share pizza if I order it, less so if it's frozen) for like $18, if I pick it up myself. Delivery? Pffft. Maybe I could get the price down to $12 if it's a one topping small or something. But at that point I can just get a $3 frozen pizza. At some point the price difference is so large that I can only justify ordering a pizza every once in a while.

 

How frequently you eat pizza also makes a difference. Obviously if you only eat the stuff once in a while, it's dumb to get frozen to save a few bucks. If it's a regular meal like it is for me, you probably don't want delivery every single time. Also you can store multiple frozen pizzas in your freezer in case you work the graveyard shift like me and need something to eat at 4am.

 

2 hours ago, Chris- said:

@Xbob42, answer for your Home Run Inn fandom.

It's not fandom so much as it has a crust flavor that I really like that's not flavored with a bunch of garlic bullshit or whatever. Even my favorite pizza places, local or chains, don't have the same kind of crust flavor. Otherwise it's just a pretty good frozen pizza.

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2 minutes ago, Jose said:

At the end of the day, some people just don't really care that much about food or don't have time to care about food, I guess. There will always be terrible prepared food options for these folks.

That's pretty much me, actually! It's not that I don't enjoy good food or prefer it outright, I just don't care all that much. I put all my caring effort into THOSE BLAZING FAST FRAME RATES!

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4 minutes ago, Xbob42 said:

That's pretty much me, actually! It's not that I don't enjoy good food or prefer it outright, I just don't care all that much. I put all my caring effort into THOSE BLAZING FAST FRAME RATES!

 

Yep, and that's fine! I envy you.

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With a little foresight, you can pick up all the ingredients for a homemade pizza after work and it will taste infinitely better than any frozen pizza. 

 

Hands down the grossest frozen food I have ever eaten was a White Castle hamburger. 

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I've only actually ordered chain pizza myself once in my life, recently in Baltimore. It was absolutely fucking atrocious. The frozen pizza I have had was definitely better than this shit. 

 

I recently saw a Domino's delivery car in Manhattan and wondered who in god's name would do such a thing in a place where you can't walk two blocks without killer pizza. 

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