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2user1cup

TSA does not give a fuuuuuck right now

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Flew into NYC, walked through metal detector not scanner. Didn't take anything off or out of my bag. Laptop in bag, cameras, toiletries, shoes on, belt on, they didn't give a shit.

 

Someone pay them.

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3 minutes ago, 2user1cup said:

Flew into NYC, walked through metal detector not scanner. Didn't take anything off or out of my bag. Laptop in bag, cameras, toiletries, shoes on, belt on, they didn't give a shit.

 

Someone pay them.

Shit... I'm flying out on Friday.

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35 minutes ago, 2user1cup said:

Flew into NYC, walked through metal detector not scanner. Didn't take anything off or out of my bag. Laptop in bag, cameras, toiletries, shoes on, belt on, they didn't give a shit.

 

Someone pay them.

TSA Pre-Check

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40 minutes ago, Boyle5150 said:

I love the illusion of safety that the TSA brings people. 

 

"This bottle of water could be a bomb! Therefore, for safety reasons, you must throw it out in this trash can at my feet." 

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4 minutes ago, Jason said:

 

"This bottle of water could be a bomb! Therefore, for safety reasons, you must throw it out in this trash can at my feet." 

 

But you may bring two functioning lighters on board 

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You have to take off your shoes and come over to the side here where we feel you up, you were chosen at random because your skin color is slightly darker.

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It’s all good until someone on your flight stands up and screams ALLAHU AKBAR!!!

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40 minutes ago, SmugPrick said:

I have been groped the last two times I've flown. Legit hands in and around the taint style groped.

Is this white people "oh why am I being searched!?" groped? Or really groped?

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I feel like TSA's screening requirements are never consistent...For example, I've been told I should (1) hold my wallet through the scanner, (2) put it in my bag, (3) put it in a tray. I have been told nothing can be in the bin with my laptop just as many times as I've put things in the bin with my laptop and not had any issues. Going through the expedited line with my dad - who was in a wheelchair - they once made him go through the scanner and once said it wasn't necessary (they also alternatively told me I did and didn't not have to take off my shoes). 

 

Obviously it's not revelatory that TSA sucks, but god damn, at least suck in a way that is consistent.

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7 minutes ago, Chris- said:

I feel like TSA's screening requirements are never consistent...For example, I've been told I should (1) hold my wallet through the scanner, (2) put it in my bag, (3) put it in a tray. I have been told nothing can be in the bin with my laptop just as many times as I've put things in the bin with my laptop and not had any issues. Going through the expedited line with my dad - who was in a wheelchair - they once made him go through the scanner and once said it wasn't necessary (they also alternatively told me I did and didn't not have to take off my shoes).

 

You forgot you need to take off your belt too!

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5 hours ago, Chris- said:

I feel like TSA's screening requirements are never consistent...For example, I've been told I should (1) hold my wallet through the scanner, (2) put it in my bag, (3) put it in a tray. I have been told nothing can be in the bin with my laptop just as many times as I've put things in the bin with my laptop and not had any issues. Going through the expedited line with my dad - who was in a wheelchair - they once made him go through the scanner and once said it wasn't necessary (they also alternatively told me I did and didn't not have to take off my shoes). 

 

Obviously it's not revelatory that TSA sucks, but god damn, at least suck in a way that is consistent.

 

A lot of the slowdowns at the security lines are self-created by their ineptness. I've been through a number of times where they weren't running a separate Precheck line and they failed to communicate to people with Precheck what to do. When this happens they almost never remember to tell Precheck passengers to take out any liquids, and one time they forgot to tell us to take out our laptops as well. With the laptop instance in particular the result was that they completely overloaded themselves with secondary bag screenings on all the Precheck passengers who didn't take out their liquids and/or laptops.

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On 12/31/2018 at 3:40 PM, 2user1cup said:

Flew into NYC, walked through metal detector not scanner. Didn't take anything off or out of my bag. Laptop in bag, cameras, toiletries, shoes on, belt on, they didn't give a shit.

 

Someone pay them.

JFK has been doing this for quite some time now actually. It's my local airport and I've flown out of there something like 4 or 5 times last year and that's their regular MO now. They just kind of usher you through. 

 

Their lines and levels of drama were totally unsustainable previously so I don't know if someone just said fuck it or what?

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On 1/7/2019 at 3:34 PM, Bloodporne said:

JFK has been doing this for quite some time now actually. It's my local airport and I've flown out of there something like 4 or 5 times last year and that's their regular MO now. They just kind of usher you through. 

 

Their lines and levels of drama were totally unsustainable previously so I don't know if someone just said fuck it or what?

I remember about 2 yrs ago they were testing not requiring you to take off shoes, take out laptops, etc to speed up the line.  I was in Orlando then and they just told us to put all electronics in our bags and keep shoes on.  Have pre-check now so we keep all our shit on now anyway.

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I seriously hope nothing happens, especially since I have family traveling thru air this week but Trump would definitely shift the blame if a terrorist situation happened. 

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My crotchal region always sets off the scanners, so I get the inside the waist band, and all the way up the inner thigh pat down every time I fly. My friend flew with us on Friday and she set off the hand swab detector and got the full body pat down. It’s pretty gross the way these strangers feel you up.

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6 minutes ago, sblfilms said:

My crotchal region always sets off the scanners, so I get the inside the waist band, and all the way up the inner thigh pat down every time I fly. My friend flew with us on Friday and she set off the hand swab detector and got the full body pat down. It’s pretty gross the way these strangers feel you up.

 

Did you just low-key humble brag about having a big dick? :lol:

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Just now, Jason said:

 

Did you just low-key humble brag about having a big dick? :lol:

No no, my penis is one of the whitest things about me. Unfortunately.

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11 hours ago, sblfilms said:

My crotchal region always sets off the scanners, so I get the inside the waist band, and all the way up the inner thigh pat down every time I fly. My friend flew with us on Friday and she set off the hand swab detector and got the full body pat down. It’s pretty gross the way these strangers feel you up.

 

My muscular quadriceps and manly calves require extra screening. 

 

 

 

 

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10 hours ago, 2user1cup said:

 

My muscular quadriceps and manly calves require extra screening. 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't mind if they pat you down and bring out a foam roller to roll on your muscles while they're at it. Win/win?

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I'm flying right now and with TSA Pre made it through in Orlando earlier today in five minutes with no groping. Guess I'm not their type. :batting:

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3 minutes ago, Nokra said:

I'm flying right now and with TSA Pre made it through in Orlando earlier today in five minutes with no groping. Guess I'm not their type. :batting:

Check your white privilege bro 

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On 1/14/2019 at 11:17 AM, sblfilms said:

My crotchal region always sets off the scanners, so I get the inside the waist band, and all the way up the inner thigh pat down every time I fly. My friend flew with us on Friday and she set off the hand swab detector and got the full body pat down. It’s pretty gross the way these strangers feel you up.

 

On 1/14/2019 at 11:25 AM, sblfilms said:

No no, my penis is one of the whitest things about me. Unfortunately.

Does your crotch smell like a bomb? 

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On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 3:40 PM, 2user1cup said:

Flew into NYC, walked through metal detector not scanner. Didn't take anything off or out of my bag. Laptop in bag, cameras, toiletries, shoes on, belt on, they didn't give a shit.

 

Someone pay them.

Did you pass a dog at any point? I've noticed if there is dog present, you pretty much just go through.

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3 minutes ago, Commodore D said:

Did you pass a dog at any point? I've noticed if there is dog present, you pretty much just go through.

We did

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My dad just flew back from Florida and he said the lines were massive because there were such few TSA agents. 

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I have to fly back to Germany on Monday. Between the TSA and this:

 

 

 

I'm really feeling great about the prospect. :p 

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