General Entertainment ~Rate The Last Movie/TV Show You Watched Thread~

[Fizzzzle]

iBoy - 7/10

 

Pretty good. It's like a super heroish sci-fi kind of thing. Like if someone had watch_dog powers only in their brain (not really a spoiler, it's in the trailer and the first like 10 minutes). The way the third act kicks off kind of makes no sense whatsoever, but if you can just get over that and not think about it too much, the rest of it is really damn good.

[Fizzzzle]

Tomb Raider (2018) - 5/10

 

Pretty darn tootin' for a video game adaptation, honestly, not that that's a high bar. It's just... bland. It's one of those movies where I got about 45 minutes in before I realized I'd already seen it before. I do like how they get the spirit of the recent games right. I am glad they're taking a crack at another one, though I worry that the next one will be outright bad whereas this one was just milquetoast and forgettable. Ultimately, though, it's nothing to write home about. It's just, like, there.

 

edit: Also, I can't let it go

Spoiler

The whole point of all those people being on the island is literally that you can't leave (Richard Croft even says "there is no leaving this island", but the fucking Trinity dudes are getting regular supply drops from helicopters that land and take off again. So apparently it's not really that big of a deal to leave by chopper. There's no reason Walton Goggins' dude had to be there for 7 years, unless Trinity is just a dick of a company, in which case I question his undying loyalty. At any rate, that whole plot point doesn't really go anywhere. Whatever, I guess don't really think about it too hard.

 

[Greatoneshere]

2 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

Tomb Raider (2018) - 5/10

 

Pretty darn tootin' for a video game adaptation, honestly, not that that's a high bar. It's just... bland. It's one of those movies where I got about 45 minutes in before I realized I'd already seen it before. I do like how they get the spirit of the recent games right. I am glad they're taking a crack at another one, though I worry that the next one will be outright bad whereas this one was just milquetoast and forgettable. Ultimately, though, it's nothing to write home about. It's just, like, there.

 

edit: Also, I can't let it go

  Hide contents

The whole point of all those people being on the island is literally that you can't leave (Richard Croft even says "there is no leaving this island", but the fucking Trinity dudes are getting regular supply drops from helicopters that land and take off again. So apparently it's not really that big of a deal to leave by chopper. There's no reason Walton Goggins' dude had to be there for 7 years, unless Trinity is just a dick of a company, in which case I question his undying loyalty. At any rate, that whole plot point doesn't really go anywhere. Whatever, I guess don't really think about it too hard.

 

 

This pretty much sums it all up. Very bland and forgettable movie.

[Dre801]

Alicia Vikander wants to make another one.

 

I never saw the Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider films, so I can't make a comparison.

 

[Fizzzzle]

4 minutes ago, Dre801 said:

Alicia Vikander wants to make another one.

 

I never saw the Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider films, so I can't make a comparison.

 

The Jolie ones also, like exist and aren't actively bad, but they scream "early 00's action movie." They probably haven't aged all that well.

 

It looks like the next one with Vikander will happen, but it's still very early in pre-production

Misha Green To Write And Direct Tomb Raider Movie Sequel, Alicia Vikander Back As Lara Croft - PlayStation Universe

WWW.PSU.COM

---

The Tomb Raider movie sequel will be written and directed by Misha Green, while Alicia Vikander is back as Lara Croft.

 

[Fizzzzle]

The Nevers (season 1.. part 1?)

 

Honestly it's a little bit of a mess, but I enjoyed it. I'm also not lost on the irony of Joss Whedon being behind a show that is mostly about female empowerment given the last year. It doesn't have a satisfying ending at all, but I suppose it wasn't supposed to. Apparently it was greenlit for 12 episodes and this was just the first 6.

 

Between this show and Warrior, I could do with more shows being set in the late 19th century that actually take place in grimy urban settings. It's so ripe for story potential.

[Keyser_Soze]

 

Monster Hunter: 4/10 - There is like 20 or 30 minutes of solid actual Monster Hunter type material in this movie, the rest unfortunately is not. I think this movie follows the trend of trying to bring in an "everyman" type character (in this case Milla Jojovich) as if you couldn't create a robust new world that is it's own thing without bringing in someone from our world to make it relatable. The opening minutes show promise and then we more than half of the movie is spent establishing Milla Jojovich's character instead of the actual Monster Hunter's character (Tony Jaa) and it's mostly Milla Jojovich torture porn as she's just getting her ass kicked most of the time.

 

The editing is disorienting (like constant cuts every 2 seconds or less), the writing is mostly cliche and the music is very odd (like Monster Hunter games actually have music and this movie goes some weird techno route)

Like I said after over an hour in we get to something actually resembling monster hunter, there's a hideous Palico (how do you screw that up?) and then a very blue balls ending which lowered my score as I was prepared to give this movie a solid 5 but yikes, the movie isn't even finished!

 

Also, for those wondering the controversial and not funny Chinese joke is not in this release. There are 2 jokes in the deleted scenes but they aren't that joke (and also not very funny either)

[TheLeon]

Line of Duty Season 5 - This season felt like a slight step down from the last few, but still overall excellent.

Spoiler

They spent a lot of time setting up that Superintendent Hastings might be bent, but I refused to believe it. The only real sticking point for me is the laptop. Maybe I missed something, or maybe it'll be addressed next season, but "embarrassed about porn" is a lame excuse to dispose of a laptop. At this point I have to believe that it was something else, but not related to organized crime. Because if it turns out that my boy Hastings (like the battle) is responsible for all of this shit, I will lose all faith in humanity. 

 

[Greatoneshere]

9 hours ago, Keyser_Soze said:

Monster Hunter: 4/10 - There is like 20 or 30 minutes of solid actual Monster Hunter type material in this movie, the rest unfortunately is not. I think this movie follows the trend of trying to bring in an "everyman" type character (in this case Milla Jojovich) as if you couldn't create a robust new world that is it's own thing without bringing in someone from our world to make it relatable. The opening minutes show promise and then we more than half of the movie is spent establishing Milla Jojovich's character instead of the actual Monster Hunter's character (Tony Jaa) and it's mostly Milla Jojovich torture porn as she's just getting her ass kicked most of the time.

 

I'm not sure what you expected from writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson. Personally, I do enjoy Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil (the first one), and The Three Musketeers (Orlanda Bloom is money in this movie) but I wouldn't call them good movies, but at least they are fun, dumb entertainment. I know Event Horizon has its fans, though I'm not big on that one. Otherwise his films are pretty uniformly bad. He's better than Uwe Boll but not by much. 

[Keyser_Soze]

3 minutes ago, Greatoneshere said:

 

I'm not sure what you expected from writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson.

 

I expected it to not be a good movie, that's what I expected and what I got but not in the ways I expected.

Personally I do enjoy Event Horizon, MK and even thought the first RE was ok. But, this is a video game trend that seems to keep continuing for some reason. I guess people ended up enjoying Sonic, the movie that introduced lugging around a dumb human, so every video game movie decided to do the same thing.

[Fizzzzle]

The Conjuring - 7/10

 

Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised. I normally fucking hate horror movies. 1) because I'm a big baby and have sleep paralysis so it's literally nightmare fuel, 2) because I think jump scares are basically the cinematic equivalent of a knock-knock joke. The Conjuring didn't have any jump scares, at least none that I can remember. It's just.. eerie, the way a good horror movie should be.

 

I think I might actually do a deep dive into the Conjuring Cinematic Universe. Though, if it gets too much into the cheesy jump scare territory (again, nightmare fuel, imagine getting woken up every night into a living nightmare, it literally happens to me every day) I'll jump ship. But I really liked the first one.

[Fizzzzle]

The Nun - 2/10

 

It's a lot like the Conjuring, but just like... dumb. Character development? Not in this house. Dramatic tension? Haven't heard of it. Any attempt at something resembling a coherent plot? Get the fuck out of here. Even the music sucks, and music in most horror movies sucks already.

[Fizzzzle]

Annabelle: Creation - 6/10

 

Honestly not bad. Remember like actual characters? If only more horror movies had more of those. The characters do seem to have *extremely* selective hearing, though. You don't have to suspend your disbelief so much as yeet it into the stratosphere at times.

[best3444]

5 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

The Nun - 2/10

 

It's a lot like the Conjuring, but just like... dumb. Character development? Not in this house. Dramatic tension? Haven't heard of it. Any attempt at something resembling a coherent plot? Get the fuck out of here. Even the music sucks, and music in most horror movies sucks already.

 

Glad I skipped out on this. My older brother and I wanted to watch this. I'll pass. Thanks.

[EternallDarkness]

6 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

The Nun - 2/10

 

It's a lot like the Conjuring, but just like... dumb. Character development? Not in this house. Dramatic tension? Haven't heard of it. Any attempt at something resembling a coherent plot? Get the fuck out of here. Even the music sucks, and music in most horror movies sucks already.

 

yeah, this was a turd

[Fizzzzle]

I just don't like how horror movies generally don't have any character development, they have character revealing, it's not the same thing. Only the best ones even manage that well. 90% of them don't even try. The entire plot exists to set up the next jump scare. It's lazy. Every once in a while you get a gem like quiet place.

[Fizzzzle]

Annabelle - 2/10

 

So, clearly not supposed to be watched after Annabelle: Creation. They throw like half the lore out of the movie within the first 2 minutes. Also it's another one of those movies where I got 40 minutes in before I realized I'd already seen it before.

 

Anyway, sucks for all the same reasons as The Nun. I thought I liked it more up until like the last 30 minutes, then I was like "nope, just as terrible." I actually retroactively bumped up my scores for The Conjuring and Annabelle: Creation because of how bad this one was. I was being disrespectful.

[Fizzzzle]

Annabelle Comes Home - 6/10

 

Oh! Characters again! Man, this franchise is a total fucking crapshoot, you never know if the movie is going to be garbage. This one was alright.

 

Once again, the characters have VERY selective hearing! Turns out all you need to not hear a blood curdling scream in a small old house is to simply close a door! Works every time. Once again, disbelief has to exist in another dimension. A couple characters just disappear for frankly staggering amounts of time. There are also a few very jarring tonal shifts that feel really weird.

 

It's a fun time, though. Practically Shakespeare compared to the original Annabelle. Thankfully I'm done with that bitch. Across all 3 movies, Annabelle really does not make any sense. She's an ultimate horror macguffin. Is she possessed? No. Unless we need her to be. She's actually a spirit conduit. But actually she hosts the spirit of a dead girl. But she actually doesn't, spirits don't possess objects. Also the spirit transferred to a DIFFERENT girl, but we just aren't going to talk about that ever again.

 

Annabelle: Creation and Annabelle Comes Home are alright movies, but unless you just want to marathon them with your friends on Halloween or something, you really aren't missing out on much. The first one is  t e r r i b l e. I felt like I needed a shower afterward.

[TheLeon]

A Quiet Place Part 2 - weird movie. I never felt like the first one really needed a sequel, but I liked it enough that I excited to watch this. There really isn’t anything new here. You know the score by now - be quiet or the big bug aliens will get you. A lot of the set pieces are well executed, but don’t really do much that we haven’t seen already. The second half feels pretty nonsensical, but was entertaining enough while it was happening. 
 

As a side note, I’ve been to the theater several times since lockdown started. Now that restrictions are being lifted, I actually had a much worse time than I have in the past year. There was a pack of teens in the back of the theater that wouldn’t shut up. It wasn’t even loud reactions to the movie, just sustained conversation. After about 10 minutes, I got up at like the exact same time as another patron and we both went to complain, something I’ve never done. A couple of employees came and escorted the kids out, and I presume they were ceremonially sacrificed to alien bug monsters. 

[Bloodporne]

3 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

Annabelle - 2/10

 

So, clearly not supposed to be watched after Annabelle: Creation. They throw like half the lore out of the movie within the first 2 minutes. Also it's another one of those movies where I got 40 minutes in before I realized I'd already seen it before.

 

Anyway, sucks for all the same reasons as The Nun. I thought I liked it more up until like the last 30 minutes, then I was like "nope, just as terrible." I actually retroactively bumped up my scores for The Conjuring and Annabelle: Creation because of how bad this one was. I was being disrespectful.

This can't be worse than Conjuring 2. That movie was so unintentionally hilarious that I really doubted whether it was on purpose at some points. I mean it was IMMENSELY stupid and terrible, even for a Horror flick of its ilk.

[Fizzzzle]

2 minutes ago, Bloodporne said:

This can't be worse than Conjuring 2. That movie was so unintentionally hilarious that I really doubted whether it was on purpose at some points. I mean it was IMMENSELY stupid and terrible, even for a Horror flick of its ilk.

Oooh, that makes me excited, the Conjuring 2 is actually pretty well reviewed. I have to get through the Llorona movie first, though, and apparently that one is straight garbage.

[Bloodporne]

9 minutes ago, Fizzzzle said:

Oooh, that makes me excited, the Conjuring 2 is actually pretty well reviewed. I have to get through the Llorona movie first, though, and apparently that one is straight garbage.

Yeah I have no fucking idea how. I just saw that as well, it has a 7.3 on imdb. I don't remember specifics, just thinking it was mindbogglingly shitty. I didn't even care for the first one that much but compared to this, it was a masterpiece. 

[gamer.tv]

Spider-Man: Far From Home

 

My brain tells me it was shit, but my heart says I really enjoyed it. C+ (but really a B-).

 

I also watched the first 30 minutes of Page 8, and whilst so far it’s not as clever as it wants to be, Bill Nighy and Michael Gambon have been decent. Will watch the rest tomorrow.

[Keyser_Soze]

The Qwaser of Stigmata: 8/10 - I really didn't know what to expect from this one. There's some edgelord on the cover and some pretty girls but otherwise didn't know what to expect. Well this was something truly unique and bizarre and probably extremely perverse at the same time. Essentially it's about beings called Qwasers who have strong elemental powers (elemental related to like periodic table elements) but they get their power from sucking a woman's breasts (breasts contain "soma") so this thing is lewd as hell, lots of nudity and titty sucking and then things get even more perverse from there (like some S&M stuff) Sick and twisted and I watched every second of it! (So you don't have to) Just imagine a show like power rangers except to morph they had to suck some tits to get their power, that's this show. You get desensitized to it after a while I suppose. If there is someone in this show you want to see naked, chances are you will see their boobs at some point.

 

But other than that "questionable" subject matter this is a smart show. Like I said the Qwasers harness elemental powers, the main character is an iron user but they encounter allies and enemies from a vast array of elemental properties to copper to chlorine. The story for the most part is pretty good, your basic good vs evil stuff, but mostly wanting to protect loved ones and such. There are a lot of episodes that are kind of lighthearted though which is a good reprieve from the dark nature of most of the show. Season 2 kind of falls off, kind of reminds me of Season 2 of Twin Peaks when they were kind of out of ideas so they were like, "What if Ben Horne was just into the Civil War for a couple of episodes?" - in this show it was kind of treading water, with fun and weird episodes, till the end. Also, I think the animation is pretty good too. In any case I hate to give this high marks but it's actually good, just based around subject matter that most wouldn't find appropriate.

[Fizzzzle]

The Curse of La Llorona - 0/10

 

Absolute steaming pile of shit. The entire plot exists to set up the next jump scare. None of it makes any sense. Normally I can kind of check my brain at the door for this shit but in this movie almost every scene after the first 10 minutes had me going "okay but why, though?" Why did the original cursed children play the pronoun game? Why call a CPS worker to a fucking murder scene? Why do it in the middle of the night? Why did she bring her kids to a murder scene in the middle of the night she had no business being in? Why does seemingly everyone react to car windows rolling down by themselves and locked doors getting knocked in like "huh, must have been the wind, I won't mention this to anyone ever." Oh yeah, forget hearing the blood curdling screams (unless the plot needs a character to hear it, of course). The Conjuring universe has well established that all you have to do to silence someone screaming in the house is to close a door.

 

OH, that's right. Silly me. The answer to any and all questions is "fuck off, we need the movie to happen."

 

Honestly it's the first movie in a long time that I just straight up didn't finish. It's insultingly stupid, and I watch a lot of stupid movies.

[Fizzzzle]

I just started the Conjuring 2 and it's like they just found out what a dutch angle was and someone told them it's spooky.

[Fizzzzle]

The Conjuring 2 - 2/10

 

Honestly it probably wouldn't be that bad if it was like 30 minutes long, not over 2 hours. It gets really gimmicky after a bit. I didn't think it was bad at first, but I looked at the time after an hour and was like "there's still a fucking HOUR?!"

 

Also you can only do the "paranormal thing closes a door and people can't open it" thing so many times. And remember kids, dutch angles are sPoOoOkY.

 

Going through this franchise has reinforced why I don't like horror movies. 90% of them are so fucking lazy. Like someone comes up with a "wouldn't it be cool-" premise and they somehow stretch it out to 90 minutes when it could have been 10. Maybe I'm just not the audience for it. But out of the whole Conjuring franchise, only 3 of them are even remotely good. The original Conjuring, Annabelle: Creation, and Annabelle Comes Home. What do those 3 movies have in common? Actual fucking characters that have more than just a single scene that establishes who they are. "Oh, Billy, what's his deal?" "He stutters." "Cool, that works, let's move on to the jump scares."

 

It's like they basically try to make the whole movie the third act. Like they fly through the first two acts in 20 minutes. It's not scary if I don't give a flying fuck about any of the characters. It's just jump scares that serve no purpose other than padding run time because they couldn't figure out how to have people actually doing things for 90 minutes (or in this movie's case 2 hours)

[gamer.tv]

Can we please give @Fizzzzlethe title ‘Resident Film Critic’ as I’m thoroughly enjoying his reviews.

 

@Commissar SFLUFAN @Kal-El814

[Fizzzzle]

22 minutes ago, gamer.tv said:

Can we please give @Fizzzzlethe title ‘Resident Film Critic’ as I’m thoroughly enjoying his reviews.

 

@Commissar SFLUFAN @Kal-El814

Sorry I've been blowing up this thread

 

I'm single, my PC is busted, everything closes early, watching stuff is kind of the only thing I have to kill time right now.

[Keyser_Soze]

@Fizzzzle I'd like to see you binge all 8 of the Beethoven movies

[Fizzzzle]

4 minutes ago, Keyser_Soze said:

@Fizzzzle I'd like to see you binge all 8 of the Beethoven movies

you're a sick bastard

[Greatoneshere]

As a person who used to write more in-depth reviews for a long time and stopped, I'm enjoying them. 

[Bloodporne]

23 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

The Conjuring 2 - 2/10

 

Honestly it probably wouldn't be that bad if it was like 30 minutes long, not over 2 hours. It gets really gimmicky after a bit. I didn't think it was bad at first, but I looked at the time after an hour and was like "there's still a fucking HOUR?!"

 

Also you can only do the "paranormal thing closes a door and people can't open it" thing so many times. And remember kids, dutch angles are sPoOoOkY.

 

Going through this franchise has reinforced why I don't like horror movies. 90% of them are so fucking lazy. Like someone comes up with a "wouldn't it be cool-" premise and they somehow stretch it out to 90 minutes when it could have been 10. Maybe I'm just not the audience for it. But out of the whole Conjuring franchise, only 3 of them are even remotely good. The original Conjuring, Annabelle: Creation, and Annabelle Comes Home. What do those 3 movies have in common? Actual fucking characters that have more than just a single scene that establishes who they are. "Oh, Billy, what's his deal?" "He stutters." "Cool, that works, let's move on to the jump scares."

 

It's like they basically try to make the whole movie the third act. Like they fly through the first two acts in 20 minutes. It's not scary if I don't give a flying fuck about any of the characters. It's just jump scares that serve no purpose other than padding run time because they couldn't figure out how to have people actually doing things for 90 minutes (or in this movie's case 2 hours)

 

You're welcome!

 

Also, now remember this fucking piece of shit has a 7.3 on imdb. 

[Greatoneshere]

2 hours ago, Bloodporne said:

 

You're welcome!

 

Also, now remember this fucking piece of shit has a 7.3 on imdb. 

 

I'm not a big horror film fan generally speaking as I usually find them bad or predictable or boring (or some combination therein) but The Conjuring 2 was good. Not great, not bad, just a bit worse than the first film. It toes the line between ridiculous/over the top horror antics with scenes of genuine suspense and thrills. Not only does it have a 7.3 on IMDb (after 233,000 votes!) it has an 80% top critics score (6.7/10), an 80% all critics score (6.7/10), and an 81% audience review score (3.9/5 after over 50,000 votes). Those are all really good scores for any film across the board, much less a genre horror film which generally score worse on average. To be fair, it does have a 65/100 critics review score, but it also has a 7.7/10 audience review score (after 631 votes, which is pretty high for a horror film). 

 

I'm not trying to defend the film or anything as I don't care about the franchise (only seen the two mainline entries), just that the film is pretty much universally well liked so hating on it hard is actually a very minority position is all.

[EternallDarkness]

On 6/2/2021 at 8:37 AM, Fizzzzle said:

The Curse of La Llorona - 0/10

 

Absolute steaming pile of shit. The entire plot exists to set up the next jump scare. None of it makes any sense. Normally I can kind of check my brain at the door for this shit but in this movie almost every scene after the first 10 minutes had me going "okay but why, though?" Why did the original cursed children play the pronoun game? Why call a CPS worker to a fucking murder scene? Why do it in the middle of the night? Why did she bring her kids to a murder scene in the middle of the night she had no business being in? Why does seemingly everyone react to car windows rolling down by themselves and locked doors getting knocked in like "huh, must have been the wind, I won't mention this to anyone ever." Oh yeah, forget hearing the blood curdling screams (unless the plot needs a character to hear it, of course). The Conjuring universe has well established that all you have to do to silence someone screaming in the house is to close a door.

 

OH, that's right. Silly me. The answer to any and all questions is "fuck off, we need the movie to happen."

 

Honestly it's the first movie in a long time that I just straight up didn't finish. It's insultingly stupid, and I watch a lot of stupid movies.

 

yeah the movie wasn't actually good or have a plot that really made any logical sense. That being said, I seem to remember it having a few good jump scares. Hard for me to recall, I know I went and saw it in the theaters when I seeing a ton of stuff because of movie card or AMC+.