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Do you sit or stand to wipe?

Joe

By Joe
in The Shower

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skillzdadirecta

skillzdadirecta

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Bloodporne said:

My best shitting experience has been when I absolutely had to drop a deuce while taking a hike near a local graveyard. It was such a dire situation I had to choose between shitting my pants violently or desecration of holy grounds.

 

Being the rocking motherfucker I am, I chose desecration by running to a slightly forested area, holding onto a tree for dear life and letting loose. I had never shit in a more satisfying and Metal fashion.

 

You're welcome.

 

:megaton:

 

PS: I STILL wiped my ass in a seated position...in a graveyard forest...with papers from a nearby trash can.

 

I can top that although it's not MY story... a couple of years back, a buddy of mine came to visit from out of town. On his last night here, we went out drinking and got back late. I went to my room and passed out stone cold asleep. A couple of hours later, I awaken to hear loud banging coming form outside my bedroom. I called out to my buddy, who last I remember was asleep on my couch in the livingroom, asking if he was okay. I didn't know what was going on and I thought he may have been fighting an intruder in my living room. He told me to come open the door because he had locked himself out. I was confused but I got up and indeed he was looked out standing in my hallway banging on my door trying to wake me and apparently he had been out there for awhile. I let him in and went back to bed, but I could hear him going through my cabinets and then I heard the shower running. I made a mental note to ask him about it and went to sleep.

 

The next day I asked him WTF had happened and he told me that in the middle of the night, he had to take a shit. In his drunken stupor he stumbled to what he thought was the bathroom but was really the door leading to the outside of my apartment and by the time he realized his mistake, the door closed behind him and he was unable to get back into the apartment even though the door was technically unlocked. Needing desperately to relieve his bowels he did what any other sane person would do... whe went to the trash chute room, somehow hiked his ass up over the door that you pull to drop your trash in, and took a shit down the chute. Of course his aim was less than perfect and he ended up getting some friendly fire all over the room and had to go back and clean it up which is why I heard him ruffling through my cabinets looking for cleaning products. I told him that I would probably get evicted an I spent the next couple of days expecting to come home to find a letter from the building stuck in my door but I never did. I guess he did a good job cleaning up... no idea if he stands or sits when he wipes. Pretty sure he didn't wipe that night, hence the shower.

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Remarkableriots

Remarkableriots

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Bloodporne said:

My best shitting experience has been when I absolutely had to drop a deuce while taking a hike near a local graveyard. It was such a dire situation I had to choose between shitting my pants violently or desecration of holy grounds.

 

Being the rocking motherfucker I am, I chose desecration by running to a slightly forested area, holding onto a tree for dear life and letting loose. I had never shit in a more satisfying and Metal fashion.

 

You're welcome.

 

:megaton:

 

PS: I STILL wiped my ass in a seated position...in a graveyard forest...with papers from a nearby trash can.

I had an emergency while out running and had to find a place where nobody could see me. I went behind a power box and it was an explosive shit all over a wall.

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Bloodporne

Bloodporne

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, skillzdadirecta said:

 

I can top that although it's not MY story... a couple of years back, a buddy of mine came to visit from out of town. On his last night here, we went out drinking and got back late. I went to my room and passed out stone cold asleep. A couple of hours later, I awaken to hear loud banging coming form outside my bedroom. I called out to my buddy, who last I remember was asleep on my couch in the livingroom, asking if he was okay. I didn't know what was going on and I thought he may have been fighting an intruder in my living room. He told me to come open the door because he had locked himself out. I was confused but I got up and indeed he was looked out standing in my hallway banging on my door trying to wake me and apparently he had been out there for awhile. I let him in and went back to bed, but I could hear him going through my cabinets and then I heard the shower running. I made a mental note to ask him about it and went to sleep.

 

The next day I asked him WTF had happened and he told me that in the middle of the night, he had to take a shit. In his drunken stupor he stumbled to what he thought was the bathroom but was really the door leading to the outside of my apartment and by the time he realized his mistake, the door closed behind him and he was unable to get back into the apartment even though the door was technically unlocked. Needing desperately to relieve his bowels he did what any other sane person would do... whe went to the trash chute room, somehow hiked his ass up over the door that you pull to drop your trash in, and took a shit down the chute. Of course his aim was less than perfect and he ended up getting some friendly fire all over the room and had to go back and clean it up which is why I heard him ruffling through my cabinets looking for cleaning products. I told him that I would probably get evicted an I spent the next couple of days expecting to come home to find a letter from the building stuck in my door but I never did. I guess he did a good job cleaning up... no idea if he stands or sits when he wipes. Pretty sure he didn't wipe that night, hence the shower.

I wonder if that Silent Hill 2 canned juice puzzle could've been solved this way? It's just as logical of a solution really. 

 

 

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Biggie

Biggie

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, eggydoo said:

Reminds me of a story a college friend told me once where she was about to hook up with some dude and then saw shit stains on his boxers when it was about to go down and she backed out.

He must've been a stand up wipe guy.

That is a deal breaker amirite?

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Triage

Triage

Posted
Posted

Eww so many of you gross.. Who the fuck stands to wipe? Forever unclean! I sit then hop in tub or shower and wash my ass with Summer's Eve special vag/ass soap. 

 

I mean if you get shit smeared on your hand do you just wipe with toilet paper or do you wash with soap and water? How different is that with your ass? 

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Keyser_Soze

Keyser_Soze

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, kittykat said:

 

Yes this is my technique. If you sit and lean you just can not get up in there as easily. I am genuinely shocked to read that people think sitting and wiping your ass is the most effective way. That is insanity. 

 

The shocking thing is:

 

1. Somehow standing smears shit all over your butt cheeks. People must be shitting basketballs for that to happen. Shit does not get on my butt cheeks.

2. People afraid of skid marks. Do people not look at the TP? Look at your toilet paper, when you stop seeing poop on the TP your ass is clean.

On average I can use less than 6 squares of TP and come away clean.

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skillzdadirecta

skillzdadirecta

Posted
Posted
On 11/9/2018 at 2:55 PM, eggydoo said:

Reminds me of a story a college friend told me once where she was about to hook up with some dude and then saw shit stains on his boxers when it was about to go down and she backed out.

He must've been a stand up wipe guy.

 

Lol I wrote that in a script once :lol: 

 

@Bloodporne My buddy that I was telling you about is in town this weekend and staying at my spot once again. We walk into the house and he's not here for ten minutes, goes to the bathroom then comes out and says "Of course I stopped your toilet up... where's your plunger?" :lol:

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Nokra

Nokra

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Triage said:

Well, read some articles and I guess either way is fine. Seems that about 40% or so actually stand to wipe. I will have to try it. I bathe afterward anyway so doesn't matter anyway.

 

2eq6p3s.png

 

"For now, there doesn't seem to be a solid answer...."

 

:isee:

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