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Jose

Do you sit or stand to wipe?

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Just now, Chris- said:

I stand, unless it was a bit muddy and requires some serious digging. I find the reach-around to be uncomfortable.

 

Super uncomfortable! But it definitely gets you cleaner. 

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I wasn't even aware a single human on the planet would even think of STANDING while wiping their ass...how is that even an option when your ass is clenched while standing versus open while sitting. 

 

Amazing topic. 10/10

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35 minutes ago, Bloodporne said:

I wasn't even aware a single human on the planet would even think of STANDING while wiping their ass...how is that even an option when your ass is clenched while standing versus open while sitting. 

 

Amazing topic. 10/10

I squat about 1 foot above the bowl to wipe, would that be standing ?

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I stand, but should convert to sitting. I feel weird for asking this, but how do the physics work? I don't know if it's because I've gotten fat or what, but if I'm sitting there is no room for me to get in there. Do you gotta hover or what? Standing definitely leads to more stains than I would like and I should switch. But dammit I've wiped the same way all my wife and it's hard to break old habits.

 

I also try to shower after every dump but half my dumps happen at work where I can't just hop in the shower after.

 

I think we all just need badets or however you spell it. I bet it solves all of our wiping problems. 

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4 minutes ago, Dodger said:

I stand, but should convert to sitting. I feel weird for asking this, but how do the physics work? I don't know if it's because I've gotten fat or what, but if I'm sitting there is no room for me to get in there. Do you gotta hover or what? Standing definitely leads to more stains than I would like and I should switch. But dammit I've wiped the same way all my wife and it's hard to break old habits.

 

I also try to shower after every dump but half my dumps happen at work where I can't just hop in the shower after.

 

I think we all just need badets or however you spell it. I bet it solves all of our wiping problems. 

When I do sit, I shift my weight so that my right leg is slightly raised from the seat, giving me clearance to get in there.

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3 hours ago, Jose said:

I am in the process of converting to sitting, and it is truly eye opening. Anus opening, too.

 

3 hours ago, Chris- said:

I stand, unless it was a bit muddy and requires some serious digging. I find the reach-around to be uncomfortable.

 

2 hours ago, Keyser_Soze said:

I stand or at least lift my ass off the toilet so I can wipe my ass.

 

2 hours ago, TheLeon said:

I just take a shower after every dump.

 

1 hour ago, Dodger said:

I stand, but should convert to sitting. I feel weird for asking this, but how do the physics work? I don't know if it's because I've gotten fat or what, but if I'm sitting there is no room for me to get in there. Do you gotta hover or what? Standing definitely leads to more stains than I would like and I should switch. But dammit I've wiped the same way all my wife and it's hard to break old habits.

 

I also try to shower after every dump but half my dumps happen at work where I can't just hop in the shower after.

 

I think we all just need badets or however you spell it. I bet it solves all of our wiping problems. 

 

 

 

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I think the better question is what are you doing? My fiber intake is so phenomenal, I barely need to wipe. Maybe y'all should stop blowing out your colon with poor nutrition. Get on my level.

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2 hours ago, Dodger said:

I stand, but should convert to sitting. I feel weird for asking this, but how do the physics work? I don't know if it's because I've gotten fat or what, but if I'm sitting there is no room for me to get in there. Do you gotta hover or what? Standing definitely leads to more stains than I would like and I should switch. But dammit I've wiped the same way all my wife and it's hard to break old habits.

 

I also try to shower after every dump but half my dumps happen at work where I can't just hop in the shower after.

 

I think we all just need badets or however you spell it. I bet it solves all of our wiping problems. 

 

I know totally where you are coming from. I've tried doing it sitting before, but it was just so uncomfortable. Today I leaned to my left and a little forward and it wasnt too bad. Will try again tomorrow and report back.

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5 minutes ago, Jose said:

 

I know totally where you are coming from. I've tried doing it sitting before, but it was just so uncomfortable. Today I leaned to my left and a little forward and it wasnt too bad. Will try again tomorrow and report back.

I eagerly await your report. I tried last time and like you said just couldn't get comfortable. 

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Also, as of last night I have slept with 12 different women, so I am now an authority on all matters. Standing while wiping is fine. 

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Just now, Chris- said:

Also, as of last night I have slept with 12 different women, so I am now an authority on all matters. Standing while wiping is fine. 

When I remember, I bring baby wipes with me to work and that solves the problem. I've been forgetting to get some lately though. 

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9 minutes ago, Jose said:

There's also apparently a third strat: standing in squat mode. But honestly, that seems most ridiculous of all.

I mean, there's a fourth: don't be a fucking shill to the system, defy and just don't wipe your ass at all.

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27 minutes ago, Jose said:

There's also apparently a third strat: standing in squat mode. But honestly, that seems most ridiculous of all.

Haha that’s what I do

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I literally don't get how to wipe other than the way I do it. I stand, but bend my knee until my ass spreads open and wipe. So, a squat. Like, I don't stand straight up, and I get down all the way to my asshole. 

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All right I just dropped a Nagasaki at work and tried wiping sitting down. I leaned forward and that worked. It was awkward and uncomfortable but it worked. I do feel a little cleaner. 

 

This thread may have changed my life. 

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40 minutes ago, Dodger said:

All right I just dropped a Nagasaki at work and tried wiping sitting down. I leaned forward and that worked. It was awkward and uncomfortable but it worked. I do feel a little cleaner. 

 

This thread may have changed my life. 

reading this thread has changed my life... Your parents should be ashamed

 

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My best shitting experience has been when I absolutely had to drop a deuce while taking a hike near a local graveyard. It was such a dire situation I had to choose between shitting my pants violently or desecration of holy grounds.

 

Being the rocking motherfucker I am, I chose desecration by running to a slightly forested area, holding onto a tree for dear life and letting loose. I had never shit in a more satisfying and Metal fashion.

 

You're welcome.

 

:megaton:

 

PS: I STILL wiped my ass in a seated position...in a graveyard forest...with papers from a nearby trash can.

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