Fizzzzle Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 You ever realize that birthdays are mostly just things that you have to do, not things you want to do? Like I would love to have a day off peace and quiet, but no. My dad and his girlfriend want to make me dinner, my best friend wants to have a BBQ, and I know I'm lucky to have people who care about me enough that they think that's what I want, but I'm like... Dude, what I want is to only be around people when I choose to be. As soon as I feel obligated to do stuff, it makes me immediately not want to do it, however nice the gesture 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Best Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 I'm exactly the same way. I prefer to be left alone. Happy birthday. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris- Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 I used to be somewhat similar in this regard after my mother died...My Dad is a good and caring man, so he did his best as 'Mr. Mom', but it was difficult through his grief and financial/health situations, so my birthdays were never particularly celebrated or noteworthy - and I eventually stopped caring about them. Then when I had my first office job almost all of my department colleagues (all older/middle-aged mothers) doted upon me during my birthday, and it made me feel really uncomfortable to be the center of attention; that feeling persisted even up until when I met my now-wife, who came from a family that treats birthday celebrations as sacrosanct. So, I definitely see where you are coming from. But ultimately I think you should remember that you are, in essence, closing yourself off from love the people who are close to you are showing you. And there's no equity in choosing when others can love you. 2 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fizzzzle Posted August 15 Author Share Posted August 15 39 minutes ago, Chris- said: I used to be somewhat similar in this regard after my mother died...My Dad is a good and caring man, so he did his best as 'Mr. Mom', but it was difficult through his grief and financial/health situations, so my birthdays were never particularly celebrated or noteworthy - and I eventually stopped caring about them. Then when I had my first office job almost all of my department colleagues (all older/middle-aged mothers) doted upon me during my birthday, and it made me feel really uncomfortable to be the center of attention; that feeling persisted even up until when I met my now-wife, who came from a family that treats birthday celebrations as sacrosanct. So, I definitely see where you are coming from. But ultimately I think you should remember that you are, in essence, closing yourself off from love the people who are close to you are showing you. And there's no equity in choosing when others can love you. That's why I said I know I'm lucky to have people who give enough of a shit about me to care about my birthday in the first place, but I'm like... It still feels like doing things other people want me to do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamer.tv Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 There’s something to be said for having a sit down chat, a fair bit in advance, or any celebration day and talking about what you want from it, rather than other people projecting what they want for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sblfilms Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 I do what I want for my birthday. Like this week, I was in Cancun with my wife and her sister and the sister’s husband. I had a lovely time, eating, drinking, swimming in the ocean, and shopping at the markets. This weekend my mother will make me my favorite things that she cooks, and my favorite cake she bakes (she’s fantastic at both!). The end of the month I’ll have some friends by to watch baseball, play yard games, and swim. Nobody makes me do things I don’t want, but our family culture is one where we enjoy doing what the birthday person wants. My oldest brother doesn’t like get together as, but my mom still cooks what he wants and we just text him happy birthday 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLeon Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 If someone wants to do something for you on your birthday, they should know what you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 They should set your hand for you then I bet you would love birthdays Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 How to tell us its your birthday without actually telling us its your birthday 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Best Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 14 hours ago, sblfilms said: I do what I want for my birthday. Like this week, I was in Cancun with my wife and her sister and the sister’s husband. I had a lovely time, eating, drinking, swimming in the ocean, and shopping at the markets. This weekend my mother will make me my favorite things that she cooks, and my favorite cake she bakes (she’s fantastic at both!). The end of the month I’ll have some friends by to watch baseball, play yard games, and swim. Nobody makes me do things I don’t want, but our family culture is one where we enjoy doing what the birthday person wants. My oldest brother doesn’t like get together as, but my mom still cooks what he wants and we just text him happy birthday 😂 These are my favorite humble brag posts you do on occasions. I love you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPCyric Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 21 hours ago, Fizzzzle said: You ever realize that birthdays are mostly just things that you have to do, not things you want to do? Like I would love to have a day off peace and quiet, but no. My dad and his girlfriend want to make me dinner, my best friend wants to have a BBQ, and I know I'm lucky to have people who care about me enough that they think that's what I want, but I'm like... Dude, what I want is to only be around people when I choose to be. As soon as I feel obligated to do stuff, it makes me immediately not want to do it, however nice the gesture Happy belated birthday! Today is mine 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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