Keyser_Soze Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Carolina Panthers | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Carolina Panthers. Your 2023 record: 2-15. Under other circumstances, going 2-15 with a new […] Yesterday was the one for @Slug Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Washington Commanders | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Washington Commanders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Commanders. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Washington Commanderskins. If American political strategists have taught me anything over the years, it’s […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 Is it that time of year ALREADY?!?!!? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kal-El814 Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 Quote Your quarterback: Lollipop Guild member Bryce Young, who cost the Panthers two first-rounders (one of which became Caleb Williams), two second-rounders, and WR DJ Moore. Young cleared 200 yards passing only five times, and 300 only once. He was sacked 62 times, second in the league only behind Sam Howell. PFF currently has him as their 35th ranked QB across the entire NFL, below the likes of Kenny Pickett, Aidan O’Connell, Tommy DeVito, and Zach Wilson. Every analytics tool spits out a 404 error when you ask it to evaluate this poor shrimp It's the most wonderful time of the year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 Quote "Charlotte is Great Value Atlanta" was such an amazing burn that I still think about it years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 "That’s owner and hat bandit David Tepper, who serves as evidence that "Dan Snyder" is not a person, but rather an ancient, malevolent spirit that must be in possession of one active NFL owner at all times. A Fallen-type scenario, in which the curse is passed from one rich guy to the next after they accidentally touch hands while reaching for a shrimp at the owners’ meetings raw bar." This is a good bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 Today is "Patriots Day" Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New England Patriots | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: The New, Fresh, Expansion-Style NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS. Your 2023 record: 4-13, and that was […] We forgot to remind @Slug yesterday! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Washington Commanders | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Washington Commanders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Commanders. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Washington Commanderskins. If American political strategists have taught me anything over the years, it’s […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slug Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 A great read as always. It's tough to put a finger on what this team is going to be this year. We've had a lot of turnover, both staff and player. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 27 Share Posted July 27 Next up - the Arizona Cardinals! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Arizona Cardinals | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Arizona Cardinals. Your 2023 record: 4-13. Four years ago, this team was the future of the […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 29 Share Posted July 29 Today it's the turn of the San Die...errrrr...LA Chargers @TwinIon Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Los Angeles Chargers | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Chargers. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Los Angeles Chargers. This franchise was always a disgrace, but now it’s […] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted July 30 Share Posted July 30 TODAY IS YOUR DAY @Brian! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Giants | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: “The Giants I think are pretty clearly the worst team in football, […] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Your turn @Biggie Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Atlanta Falcons | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: LOL KIRK Your 2023 record: Ugh, but I wanna get to all the Kirk […] You too @CayceG Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Tennessee Titans | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Titans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Titans. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Tennessee Titans. Your 2023 record: 6-11. The Titans were kinda cool for a few years. […] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CayceG Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 I disavow a connection to this team. Like everyone else in this sweaty asshole of a city, they're transplants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 2 Share Posted August 2 Time for Da Bears! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Chicago Bears | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Chicago Bears. Please don’t do the “Da Bears” thing. Society moved on long ago. […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 5 Author Share Posted August 5 Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Jets | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: POP POP POP!!! Your 2023 record: N/A. The record book says the […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 Catching up to the last couple of days: Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Minnesota Vikings | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Minnesota Vikings. Yes, I am a Vikings fan. Stop laughing, or I won’t send […] @rc0101 Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Denver Broncos | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Denver Broncos. Your 2023 record: 8-9, featuring a 1-5 start that included a historic […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 @AbsolutSurgen Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Las Vegas Raiders | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Raiders, and we’ll deal with you later. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Raiders. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here Your Team: The Las Vegas Raiders. AhhhhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Your 2023 record: 8-9, and that’s […] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbsolutSurgen Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 The only thing that I’m not expecting to suck this year is the defence - and that is the first time I’ve been able to say that in 20 years. With a credible QB (like the much maligned, but still way better than anyone we’ve had since Rich Gannon) we might even contend for a Wild Card. Think there will be a new coach and QB for 2025. But would love to be wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 Time for the 'Aints to come marching in! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New Orleans Saints | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: New Orleans Saints. Your 2023 record: 9-8. I swear! This team actually […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Indianapolis Colts | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Indianapolis Colts. Ever wonder what would happen if Hunter Biden owned a football team? […] @thewhyteboar @foosh Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Seattle Seahawks | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Seattle Seahawks. Your 2023 record: 9-8, which would be the equivalent of going 4-13 […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewhyteboar Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 I’m still a couple behind! I need to catch up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 The Jaguars still exist?!? Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Jacksonville Jaguars | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Lemon Bar: The Team. Show the hat. If you’re still doin’ it all for […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 Yesterday was Bungles day! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Cincinnati Bengals | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: The Cincinnati Bengals. Your 2023 record: 9-8, which earned you fourth place in […] Today it's the Ramzzzzzzz... Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Los Angeles Rams | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Rams. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Los Angeles Rams. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Los Angeles Rams. Fucking Taylor Swift-ass schedule announcement. Your 2023 record: 10-7. […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 On 7/30/2024 at 7:56 PM, Commissar SFLUFAN said: TODAY IS YOUR DAY @Brian! Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Giants | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in... Danny Dimes first game back and he threw 2 INTs (1 pick 6) a day after Brady made fun of him. Tom Brady takes 'little' jab at Giants QB Jones at Fanatics Fest - ESPN WWW.ESPN.COM Tom Brady, speaking on a panel at Fanatics Fest, drew more than a few laughs from the crowd when he pulled Giants quarterback Daniel Jones' name out of the blue when discussing a... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 It's your day @Chris- Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Pittsburgh Steelers | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Pittsburgh Steelers. (They did.) Your 2023 record: 10-7, even though they absolutely stank. These […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris- Posted August 19 Share Posted August 19 27 minutes ago, Commissar SFLUFAN said: It's your day @Chris- Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Pittsburgh Steelers | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Pittsburgh Steelers. (They did.) Your 2023 record: 10-7, even though they absolutely stank. These […] Exceptionally accurate outlook of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foosh Posted August 20 Share Posted August 20 On 8/13/2024 at 12:56 PM, Commissar SFLUFAN said: Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Indianapolis Colts | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Indianapolis Colts. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Indianapolis Colts. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Indianapolis Colts. Ever wonder what would happen if Hunter Biden owned a football team? […] @thewhyteboar @foosh Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Seattle Seahawks | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Seattle Seahawks. Your 2023 record: 9-8, which would be the equivalent of going 4-13 […] They hate us cuz they aint us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 It's our turn today @Pikachu Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Miami Dolphins | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Miami Dolphins. I bring the pressure to my own Frankfurt whenever I watch an […] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 @AlwaysDyingX @marioandsonic @MarSolo Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Philadelphia Eagles | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Your 2023 record: 11-6, which is so, so misleading. Yes, the Eagles started 10-1. […] 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 1 hour ago, Commissar SFLUFAN said: @AlwaysDyingX @marioandsonic @MarSolo Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Philadelphia Eagles | Defector DEFECTOR.COM Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Your 2023 record: 11-6, which is so, so misleading. Yes, the Eagles started 10-1. […] @Greatoneshere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greatoneshere Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Yeah yeah, Eagles will be good this year I think. Elite players at all positions for the most part, secondary has been shored up (CJGJ is back), new coordinators who aren't new to this, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 3 hours ago, Greatoneshere said: Yeah yeah, Eagles will be good this year I think. Elite players at all positions for the most part, secondary has been shored up (CJGJ is back), new coordinators who aren't new to this, etc. Elite? That is a word that shouldn't be thrown around so carelessly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greatoneshere Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 13 minutes ago, Biggie said: Elite? That is a word that shouldn't be thrown around so carelessly. I agree, but yes, elite - A.J. Brown, Devonte Smith, Dallas Goedert and now Saquon Barkely behind an O-line that has Jordan Mailata and Lane Johnson with a QB in Hurts that can both be a passing threat and can run the ball himself really well? We have an excellent edge rushers in Josh Sweat and Bryce Huff (replacing Haasan Reddick) is nothing to sneeze at on defense along with Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter on the D-line. CJGJ, Reed Blankenship and a great (if he can stay healthy) Avonte Maddox in the midfield with new high draft rookies in Quinyon Mitchell to be covering one of the wide receivers along with the excellent Darius Slay (getting old, I agree but still great) and I'm sure they'll use that second rookie Cooper DeJean somewhere in there. It's a lot of talent with veteran coordinators now, so long as the chemistry is there we should be really good. And with a less insane schedule than last year's, many more ways to win this year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted August 22 Author Share Posted August 22 4 hours ago, Greatoneshere said: I agree, but yes, elite - A.J. Brown, Devonte Smith, Dallas Goedert and now Saquon Barkely behind an O-line that has Jordan Mailata and Lane Johnson with a QB in Hurts that can both be a passing threat and can run the ball himself really well? We have an excellent edge rushers in Josh Sweat and Bryce Huff (replacing Haasan Reddick) is nothing to sneeze at on defense along with Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter on the D-line. CJGJ, Reed Blankenship and a great (if he can stay healthy) Avonte Maddox in the midfield with new high draft rookies in Quinyon Mitchell to be covering one of the wide receivers along with the excellent Darius Slay (getting old, I agree but still great) and I'm sure they'll use that second rookie Cooper DeJean somewhere in there. It's a lot of talent with veteran coordinators now, so long as the chemistry is there we should be really good. And with a less insane schedule than last year's, many more ways to win this year. Oh so you do this for football too? Why do you never post here? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greatoneshere Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 1 hour ago, Keyser_Soze said: Oh so you do this for football too? Why do you never post here? Just never thought to, honestly. I do follow a lot of sports, maybe I should! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 I can’t wait to watch that elite tush push! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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