stepee Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 I think Santa is the lesser lie here since while the person is not actually Santa Claus, a person does deliver gifts on the day as promised still, it’s just that your parents are Santa Claus. But so many parents tell their children just put your mind to it and you can do anything and I’ve known so many people where there are just obviously so many things they could never do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Telling a kid you can do anything you put your mind to is doing that child a huge disservice. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xbob42 Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Santa Claus. Other one's a skill issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheShader Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Telling kids about things like Santa fills kids' minds with fantasy and wonder. Teaching kids they can be anything they want sets them up to be destroyed by the systemic barriers that will inevitably punch them in the face. I think kids SHOULD be aiming for the moon but I don't think the blanket 'anyone can do anything and it's not that hard' is not the way. When it comes to Santa, to quote Terry Pratchett: Quote All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable." REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. "So we can believe the big ones?" YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. "They're not the same at all!" YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepee Posted June 27 Author Share Posted June 27 26 minutes ago, Biggie said: Telling a kid you can do anything you put your mind to is doing that child a huge disservice. yeah especially if the kid is a big moron! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kal-El814 Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 There are good people and there are bad people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 #2 and it ain't even close! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unogueen Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Inherent kindness for the global north. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUFKAK Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 2 its not even a debate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLeon Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Your parent’s divorce wasn’t your fault. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser_Soze Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Babies came from storks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamer.tv Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Tonight was ‘In our family, we never eat dessert before our dinner’. I mean, yesterday I literally had an ice lolly straight after work as I was melting. Then balance this by telling the children I teach that a great thing about being an adult is being able to do anything you want, downside is you know why it’s not good for you in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 My 5 year old is smart as fuck (in some respects). She knows unicorns, alicorns, dragons and magic aren't real, but it's still fun to imagine and pretend that they are. The problem is when she asks me about Santa Claus (or the Easter Bunny). I don't want to be that dad that ruins the Christmas spirit for her (and which ever classmates she talks to), but I also feel bad for outright lying and telling her that Santa and the Easter Bunny are real. I usually just say that Christmas is a very special time and anything can happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Best Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 Even when I was like 8 or 9 I knew Santa wasn't real but my imagination was still phenomenal and would just pretend he did visit at night with presents. I have such incredible memories as a kid and Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 Not shocking that the non-parents on here picked #2. Also not shocking those people are curmudgeons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUFKAK Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 17 minutes ago, Brian said: Not shocking that the non-parents on here picked #2. Also not shocking those people are curmudgeons Yep, as bodybuilding shows, anyone who trains hard, diets right and takes the drug can make it to the Olympia stage! oh wait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ominous Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 religion 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris- Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 1 hour ago, Brian said: Not shocking that the non-parents on here picked #2. Also not shocking those people are curmudgeons That absolutely is a bigger lie in terms of significance, regardless of the intent behind it. I don’t think anyone is saying you have to crush a kid’s hopes and dreams anytime they say they want to be something they are unlikely to ever become. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sblfilms Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 We never did Santa Claus as though he were a real thing, but we also quite aggressive about our kids not spoiling it for other kids. Don’t be a jerk! I am generally opposed to the “you can be anything you set your mind to” line because it ignores the differences in skills and aptitude that each person has. With my three children, I have laid out a specific education track for each one based not on their interests, but on what they are best at, and what their personality traits will best serve. I do think most people are more capable than they know regarding themselves, and as such can be pushed to higher heights than they believe. I work with a lot of young adults on education things in the context of building toward a career, and I am always surprised at how low the personal expectations are of these people. They just ask very little of themselves, and when you can assist them in seeing the positive traits about themselves and how they can be applied to a given situation, they really thrive. I would much rather a parent tell their kiddo they can be anything they put their mind to than to be the naysayer. Too many kids quit an idea before they even begin because an adult they trust told them not to do it because they weren’t capable. That makes me terribly sad! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 #2 but i wouldn’t be crushing their dreams at 7 years old. i think as teens its more of a convo. but it depends on your kid. i have some students who are super confident and have big dreams and i also have students who have little aspiration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheShader Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 1 hour ago, johnny said: #2 but i wouldn’t be crushing their dreams at 7 years old. i think as teens its more of a convo. but it depends on your kid. i have some students who are super confident and have big dreams and i also have students who have little aspiration. The fact some people just kind of want to live and get a boring job that gets them through life is a lot. I think another side of #2 is how often we go too hard on 'anyone can do anything' is people inevitably feel like they're expected to aim for being president of the United States. Like you and others stated, don't go around yanking the lollipops out of kids' mouths and slap them with cruel reality. But balance is important and it's an area where it's more of a gentle conversation. A gentle conversation that varies from kid to kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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