Commissar SFLUFAN Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 A few days ago on the D1P Discord, @Bacon -- at the request of @brodhen -- composed a poem celebrating the horse balls of Red Dead Redemption 2. This is his masterwork: O’ horse balls O’ horse balls How you dangle behind your wangle They jiggle when you jump They wiggle when you pump From your balls you’ll unleash your seed To try and create a mighty steed. I was so struck by the epic majesty of this piece, that I was compelled to give him a digital copy of RDR 2 for it. Now, I've decided to give everyone else an opportunity to obtain a copy of RDR2 by demonstrating their poetic natures and bequeathing a poem dedicated to equine testicles for the board! Let your poetic...errrrr...juices flow! 1 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I am honored to be featured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 I have normal balls My girlfriend was not happy Now she's a horse girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLeon Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 You know who would run away with this? Dalton Wilcox, the Poet Laureate of the West. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Vic20 Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxEvil AshxX Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 there once was a horse named Ned whose balls used to be quite red when walking around they'd drag on the ground till winter when they sucked up instead 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris- Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Old John Marston did like his Mary Sue The sight of her in the tavern did make his balls so blue The coin in his purse his odds did bolster That isn't just a revolver in his holster Old John Marston did like his Mary Sue Across her bust his load did blew 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 Just now, Chris- said: Old John Marston did like his Mary Sue The sight of her in the tavern did make his balls so blue The coin in his purse his odds did bolster That isn't just a revolver in his holster Old John Marston did like his Mary Sue Across her bust his load did blew What part about "horse balls" did you not understand?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris- Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Just now, SFLUFAN said: What part about "horse balls" did you not understand?!?! John is paying Mary Sue to have sex with a horse to fulfill his beastiality fetish. What part of the poem did you not understand?!?! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Beautiful Accessory Lustrous Limitless Stallion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbsolutSurgen Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Horses swing their balls Streaming between moving legs Do not shoot them off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted September 29, 2018 Author Share Posted September 29, 2018 1 hour ago, Chris- said: John is paying Mary Sue to have sex with a horse to fulfill his beastiality fetish. What part of the poem did you not understand?!?! There is absolutely nothing in your poem that comes even remotely close to supporting that interpretation! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepee Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Chris’s poem makes sense to me. What else would be in his holster besides a miniature horse? Surely not his penis as that just wouldn’t work anatomically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spork3245 Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Horse balls are big Horse balls are blue So, put your hands together You can use the expulsion as glue 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
projectmayhem Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Forever round, you hear the fateful sound, The painful groans with every pound. It is a clopping, but not of hooves You stare in awe at the magnificent white ooze. An abyssal hole left in its wake, The horse balls empty, your breath it takes. You stand in line, your turn is next, The horse balls hammer against your legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxEvil AshxX Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 there's far more talk of horse jizz than I was expecting. eh who am I kidding, its about as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris- Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 3 hours ago, SFLUFAN said: There is absolutely nothing in your poem that comes even remotely close to supporting that interpretation! 4 hours ago, Chris- said: Old John Marston did like his Mary Sue John likes Mary Sue The sight of her in the tavern did make his balls so blue He wants what he can't have... The coin in his purse his odds did bolster ...But he does have a lot of money! That isn't just a revolver in his holster He's now hard at the thought of what his money can get him Old John Marston did like his Mary Sue Across her bust his load did blew The horse ejaculated over Mary Sue 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepee Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 Checks out to me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 2 minutes ago, stepee said: Checks out to me. contrarians need to leave 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLeon Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 30 minutes ago, TheLeon said: FUCKING NEXT LEVEL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legend Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 I'm pretty sure this is the best D1P giveaway thread ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spork3245 Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 31 minutes ago, legend said: I'm pretty sure this horse has the best balls for D1P ever. FTFY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 “Welcome home,” she said Home, at last “But what is with that smelly ass?” “Ass?” I said, “Tis but a horse.” A horse is a horse, of course, of course “I know that,” she replied. “I'm speaking of its’ large behind.” The rear was present Not smelly, rather clean “I'm certain I'm not certain Exactly what you mean.” Perplexed, she pointed at the globes Two spheres were mirrored rather low Dangling danglers, blobby blobs Two balls, two bags One shaft, one rod. “I am so sorry,” I replied. “Not poo, but sperm in there resides. Not butts, but nuts, that glamorous spectacle, the one and only horse, horsey testicles.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reputator Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Balls. Balls balls, balls balls balls. Testicals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarSolo Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 Heading home away from the thrills, Over yonder from the hills, Riding on my horse, Seeing another rider in front of me of course, Eying his ride and getting mesmerized. Big beautiful pendulums that are super sized, All the way to the left and to the right, Looking at balls so big they are quite a sight, Left and right they go to the point where I wind up on the floor, Shitty ass horse I'm riding on has dropped me because she's a jealous whore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bjomesphat Posted October 5, 2018 Share Posted October 5, 2018 Untitled Horse balls... Goddamn you horse balls... It's been eight years, And now you have the balls to say, "lets get a couple of beers..." No, I won't fall into your trap Never again will I fall into your lap Or be slapped around by your sack while you gyrate on my back You know they're always on my mind And their presence makes me go blind You're always testing me with your testes Trotting yourself while they roam free It's been eight years, And once again, I've fallen victim to your supple rear Horse balls... Goddamn you horse balls... You know I will always come at the sound of your call... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 @Bjomesphat @MarSolo @Mark @TheLeon You all have earned a copy of RDR2 for your odes to equine testicles. Please indicate which version (PS4/XB1) you'd like to receive. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stepee Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 What if they want the pc version? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacon Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Just now, stepee said: What if they want the pc version? they cry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commissar SFLUFAN Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 1 minute ago, stepee said: What if they want the pc version? Then they wait until next-generation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarSolo Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Holy fucking shit. I honestly forgot I wrote that. Mark me down for the PS4 version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLeon Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 PS4 please! And thank you @SFLUFAN for being a patron of the arts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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