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5 Awful (But Revealing) Examples of Conservative Comedy

 

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Aside from their artless brains and empty souls, conservative creators have another big problem. They're anti-other, not pro-whimsy. And if the appeal of a joke is how much it bothers someone, that's more of a coping mechanism for being an unlikable failure than a comedy technique.

 

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5 minutes ago, Chadatog said:

Man I used to crack up out loud in the lunchroom at work when I read Seanbaby's articles in EGM.  He is a treasure.

 

His old MMA lists on Cracked are some of the funniest shit I have ever read.


 

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When Frank survived the first round, the remaining parts of his brain took one look at the beast that almost killed him and thought, "If we're not dead, that can only mean one thing:

 

we are invincible." It's the only reason I can think of to explain why he got close to Brock and attempted a flying double knee. It had all the foresight of going to an Alabama family reunion without a condom. Sure enough, Frank bounced off and fell onto his back. It was such an open invitation to a ravaging that I think he might have been trying to confuse and overload Brock Lesnar's sex glands.

 

 

 

To this day I still crack up laughing at that.

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The Mormons try to rebrand themselves yet again because even Mormons are embarrassed to be associated with Mormonism

 

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The church, commonly referred to as the Mormons, really wants people to stop using that word. It also wants people to stop using LDS as an abbreviation. From now on, it prefers that people use the church's full name, and when a shortened reference is needed, to just use "the Church" or "Church of Jesus Christ."

 

These preferences are contained in a new style guide that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints released Thursday. It states that while "the term 'Mormon Church' has long been publicly applied to the Church as a nickname, it is not an authorized title, and the Church discourages its use." It also asks that the term "Mormons" not be used in references to members.

 

Also out: the word "Mormonism," which the style guide states is an "inaccurate" word to use to describe the "doctrine, culture and lifestyle unique to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." But the word Mormon is fine to use in proper names, like the Book of Mormon, or in historical expressions like the Mormon Trail.

 

 

 

 

Just thought @GeneticBlueprint should know so he can modify his vocabulary accordingly. 

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5 hours ago, Chairslinger said:

 

The Profit said the following:

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"The Lord has impressed upon my mind the importance of the name He has revealed for His Church, even The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," President Nelson said in a statement. "We have work before us to bring ourselves in harmony with His will. In recent weeks, various Church leaders and departments have initiated the necessary steps to do so."

 

Much like his belabored use of the word "even" (Mormons* love that shit), I will belabor the point and use the full legal name of the organization, even The Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from now on.

 

I love how this is the important shit God needs to tell him. Even though 10 years ago Tom Monson was told by God to embrace the term Mormon (their bad "documentary" Meet the Mormons isn't even three years old for Christ's sake), and ten years before that Gordon Hinckley was all about using the full name. And ten years from now Dave Bednar is probably going to change it back to Mormon. It's almost as if they're making this shit up as they go along and passing their shower thoughts off as "the Lord's will".

 

*Ahem. I meant to say "revenue streams of The Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" in accordance with the style guide.

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