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Space Jam : Return of the Hairline


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Let's be real. I had a space jam blanket when I was a kid. I owned all the toys. I had the soundtrack CD that I played on repeat. I loved that movie.

 

It was a shit movie designed to sell shit and this one will be no different.

 

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 6/12/2021 at 6:27 AM, ManUtdRedDevils said:

The only difference is one has the 🐐 and the other one has the wannabe.

 

On 6/12/2021 at 11:29 AM, best3444 said:

:thumbup:

 

On 6/12/2021 at 2:15 PM, Fizzzzle said:

I mean we can do this again if you want to

 

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5 hours ago, ort said:

Is this free on HBO Max or whatever?

It’ll be on HBO Max for 30 days, then off for about 4-5 months, then back on (judging by the other movies that were a part of the same deal)

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1 hour ago, LazyPiranha said:


Yeah, lots of kids got the old Sir Osis of Liver gag back then too.


I mean the appeal of the Looney Tunes has always been wide. It’s never been exclusively for kids. It’s okay as an adult to criticize both Space Jam movies, as long as proper perspective is kept.

 

I’m an aspiring writer who writes stories with a younger audience in mind. Does that mean whatever I write gets a free pass for being mindless and cynical just because it’s “for children”? Fuck no! Kids are very impressionable. If anything the standards for entertainment aimed towards a younger audience should be higher, not lower.

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If you have a Defector sub, their review of Space Jam 2 is inspired:

 

Screen-Shot-2021-07-16-at-2.28.18-PM.png
DEFECTOR.COM

It used to be that shitty movies won by getting you to buy the ticket, and would just accept the critical pounding to follow. That was the trade, and it was a fair one: We got to call garbage garbage, and from time to time we would admit to ourselves that sometimes this or that hunk of garbage was our particular flavor of garbage.

 

 

 

A sample:

 

Quote

This front of that campaign—the Space Jam: A New Legacy maneuver—is just appallingly brazen. The plot is nonsensical, but who cares. The acting is horrendous, but who cares. It looks bad, but who cares. The updated Looney Tunes characters are just bone-chillingly gross and distorted, like the screenwriters were given two-word descriptions of Bugs and the gang and had otherwise never heard of them before. The runtime is full to bursting with little winking asides that will mostly sail over the heads of anyone young enough to enjoy all the disconnected sweaty mania of the action (Bugs warns LeBron, “DIS AIN’T DA MIAMI HEAT, YOU KNOW,” when LeBron wants some good players for his team), but are not in any sense “jokes.” There’s a Michael Bay–style montage where Looney Tunes characters are gathered willy-nilly from scenes in non–Looney Tunes movies—Yosemite Sam is somehow in Casablanca; Elmer Fudd is in Austin Powers—that I swear to God was the most boring thing I have ever endured in my entire life, even though it was almost certainly the seed and inspiration for this entire movie’s existence. The script is pure Joss Whedon/Seth MacFarlane crapola, where characters have no real distinguishing personality traits that cannot be swapped at a moment’s notice in order to have a specific one of them deliver the next samey and deeply unfunny one-liner. Respectable actors are paraded across the screen—Wood Harris, Sarah Silverman, Sonequa Martin-Green, Steven Yeun, Lil Rel Howery, Michael B. Jordan—but are given nothing even approaching interesting or funny or original to say or do. Whole huge chunks of the plot are shamefully yanked right out of Futurama and Hook. Everything is a reference to something else. Scenes and music and whole big sequences overtly reference Wonder Woman and The Matrix and Mad Max: Fury Road, but the movie is too ingratiating and chicken-shit to reach for parody, and so it winds up just sort of thirstily grasping for the lowest hanging fan service shit: recognition.

 

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1 hour ago, CayceG said:

If you have a Defector sub, their review of Space Jam 2 is inspired:

 

Screen-Shot-2021-07-16-at-2.28.18-PM.png
DEFECTOR.COM

It used to be that shitty movies won by getting you to buy the ticket, and would just accept the critical pounding to follow. That was the trade, and it was a fair one: We got to call garbage garbage, and from time to time we would admit to ourselves that sometimes this or that hunk of garbage was our particular flavor of garbage.

 

 

 

A sample:

 

 

That review was incredible. This line alone "The nightmare cartoon creature to his left—quite possibly a psychotic Roger Rabbit draped head to toe in Bugs Bunny’s rent pelt like some sort of cartoon leporid Buffalo Bill" deserves a Pulitzer.

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space-jam-23-e1626533234752.jpeg?w=1024
DEADLINE.COM

Saturday AM Update: Warner Bros.’ long awaited sequel to the 25-year old family classic Space Jam –Space Jam: A New Legacy–had a four point shot at the box office yesterday, with …


 

Was very solid at our theaters. A great few weekends since F9 dropped. I’m actually thinking with the increasing case numbers our drive ins will see another mini-bump in demand

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14 hours ago, CayceG said:

If you have a Defector sub, their review of Space Jam 2 is inspired:

 

Screen-Shot-2021-07-16-at-2.28.18-PM.png
DEFECTOR.COM

It used to be that shitty movies won by getting you to buy the ticket, and would just accept the critical pounding to follow. That was the trade, and it was a fair one: We got to call garbage garbage, and from time to time we would admit to ourselves that sometimes this or that hunk of...

 

 

 

A sample:

 

 

 

After reading that review I have only one question. How were Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer not all involved with this?

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I watched it with the kids this morning. Wasn't really a fan. Didn't have any of the soul that the first movie had. There was a lot throughout the movie that was fine. There were plenty of jokes and scenes that my 7 and 9 year old had zero clue about but they still liked it. 

My 2 biggest gripes? (1) The background characters during the big game were very distracting. To the point of just being unnecessary. I'm pretty sure Pennywise from It made at least 3 to 4 appearances because my daughter who is scared of him made sure to say so everytime. 

(2) As a kid when I would watch Space Jam, it made me want to get out in the driveway right away and start playing basketball. Even now when I watch it as an adult I will still want pick up a ball and start shooting. Got none of that feeling with the new movie. Basketball was kind of 2nd or 3rd on the list here instead of first. You know the scene at the end of Space Jam where MJ has to get looney and stretch his arm half way across the court to make the final shot? It's like the makers of this movie took that and made it the whole basketball game. It's neat... just not memorable or fun to me. 

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Grown ass men popping off about how the reboots of / sequels to the media they liked as children are low quality cash grabs are and will always be inherently funny to me.

 

"The first Space Jam had SOUL, everything today is so commercial. I just had He-Man action figures and playsets that cost my parents a small fortune, ate Ellio's pizza with Ninja Turtles on the box, drank Ecto Cooler, and watched cartoons based on Rambo and Robocop like when shit was PURE. Oh and also the original Space Jam Happy Meals, the Air Jordans that MJ wore in the movie, video games based on the movie..."

 

I mean how is any of this being said unironically? The first Space Jam is NOT GOOD, this one happily carries on that legacy.

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8 minutes ago, Kal-El814 said:

Grown ass men popping off about how the reboots of / sequels to the media they liked as children are low quality cash grabs are and will always be inherently funny to me.

 

I mean how is any of this being said unironically? The first Space Jam is NOT GOOD, this one happily carries on that legacy.

 

It's almost like the first one didn't need a sequel. :thinking:

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Space Jam nostalgia may be one of the cleanest delineations between generation X and millennials :p

 

Anyways, the original Jam was bad, but the sequel is somehow worse and made me weirdly appreciate the original for what little it did well. Ivan Reitman produced it and made sure to keep it at least watchable and entertaining. The animation was at least well done - here everything looks like ass.

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