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Moved from so cal to AZ almost 3 years ago. But I got to keep my job and got a relocation bonus so I didn’t have to worry about that part. Cost of living wise it’s been worth it. I don’t mind AZ but it’s fucking hot here half the year. Because of the bonus I didn’t bring any furniture just bought new stuff when I got here. Remember that you could spend a pretty penny shipping your stuff hundreds or thousands of miles so it’s only worth it if you have nice stuff.

 

Hardest part was leaving behind friends and family, but you’re a bartender right? So you shouldn’t have any problems meeting people. Worst part will be missing your family, if you’re close to them. 
 

I eventually bought a house in The beginning of the boonies for a price that just isn’t happening in CA, so that’s been the advantage for me. Only culture shock coming from a lib state is that white people love their guns here, and it’s one of those places where weirdos open carry to Walmart. But I’ve only seen that a handful of times.

 

Oh and no motorcycle lane splitting is wonderful too, fuck all that.

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15 hours ago, Nokra said:

 

I went to study abroad in Germany on basically a whim in college and then loved it so much I stayed over there for 10 years, soooo.. yes? :p I say do it, if you're feeling it.

 

But before you go, maybe the PDX crew should meet up for a beer? Outside and distanced? :D

I'm game.

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3 hours ago, Dodger said:

Moved from so cal to AZ almost 3 years ago. But I got to keep my job and got a relocation bonus so I didn’t have to worry about that part. Cost of living wise it’s been worth it. I don’t mind AZ but it’s fucking hot here half the year. Because of the bonus I didn’t bring any furniture just bought new stuff when I got here. Remember that you could spend a pretty penny shipping your stuff hundreds or thousands of miles so it’s only worth it if you have nice stuff.

 

Hardest part was leaving behind friends and family, but you’re a bartender right? So you shouldn’t have any problems meeting people. Worst part will be missing your family, if you’re close to them. 
 

I eventually bought a house in The beginning of the boonies for a price that just isn’t happening in CA, so that’s been the advantage for me. Only culture shock coming from a lib state is that white people love their guns here, and it’s one of those places where weirdos open carry to Walmart. But I’ve only seen that a handful of times.

 

Oh and no motorcycle lane splitting is wonderful too, fuck all that.

 

I think that takes some balls to do what you did. Good for you.

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10 hours ago, Rachel said:


What about me I moved countries 

 

Same for you as well. You're a survivor, very intelligent, and experienced with travel in general. You moving from Canada to the States to move in with your bf was courageous.

 

I'm not sure where you live now but you made it work from the little I know. You and your bf are doing well enough and that's terrific. I commend you!

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1 hour ago, best3444 said:

 

Same for you as well. You're a survivor, very intelligent, and experienced with travel in general. You moving from Canada to the States to move in with your bf was courageous.

 

I'm not sure where you live now but you made it work from the little I know. You and your bf fiancé are doing well enough and that's terrific. I commend you!


Fixed

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42 minutes ago, Rachel said:


Fixed

 

I thought you were joking about that. That's amazing you guys are engaged! True love coming from discord, gaming together etc, moving in together a little while after, and now engaged. I like you both very much and truly wish the best for you guys. You deserve it.

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8 hours ago, best3444 said:

 

I thought you were joking about that. That's amazing you guys are engaged! True love coming from discord, gaming together etc, moving in together a little while after, and now engaged. I like you both very much and truly wish the best for you guys. You deserve it.


It was real news. Thanks smoochiekins. 

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Since I've mentioned my intention to move across the country to a few of my friends, I've received some push back. Basically people saying that I'm running away.

 

I don't see it like that. Portland has become a small town to me. A couple million people live here, yet somehow I know everyone. A new cook started at my job. Turns out he's roommates with an old friend of mine. I hung out with them, turns out that roommate is fucking a different old friend of mine from a completely different social circle. The last time my brother brought a girl over for dinner at my dad's house, she looked like a deer in headlights when she saw me. She dated one of my old friends for years, and we had both seen each other in some very bad moments when we were doing drugs together. I could go on.

 

Is it wrong to want to be a stranger again? It kind of feels like people are telling me I'm a coward because I don't want to live with all of the skeletons in my closet.

 

Outside of a few months here and there, I've lived in Portland my whole life. It already feels like chains around my ankles. I don't see why I should feel obligated to suffer the chains. It's hard to really start fresh when you're constantly surrounded by people who have seen you fail and be an idiot your whole life. It's like being surrounded by reminders of your own piece-of-shitedness.

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4 hours ago, Fizzzzle said:

Since I've mentioned my intention to move across the country to a few of my friends, I've received some push back. Basically people saying that I'm running away.

 

I don't see it like that. Portland has become a small town to me. A couple million people live here, yet somehow I know everyone. A new cook started at my job. Turns out he's roommates with an old friend of mine. I hung out with them, turns out that roommate is fucking a different old friend of mine from a completely different social circle. The last time my brother brought a girl over for dinner at my dad's house, she looked like a deer in headlights when she saw me. She dated one of my old friends for years, and we had both seen each other in some very bad moments when we were doing drugs together. I could go on.

 

Is it wrong to want to be a stranger again? It kind of feels like people are telling me I'm a coward because I don't want to live with all of the skeletons in my closet.

 

Outside of a few months here and there, I've lived in Portland my whole life. It already feels like chains around my ankles. I don't see why I should feel obligated to suffer the chains. It's hard to really start fresh when you're constantly surrounded by people who have seen you fail and be an idiot your whole life. It's like being surrounded by reminders of your own piece-of-shitedness.

Sounds like a good plan to hit the reset button and start over. But only if you truly are going to re-start. Don’t do all this moving and then pick up doing the same lifestyle things you are doing in Portland. If you aren’t 100% in changing your life then you might as well stay put. 

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44 minutes ago, Biggie said:

Sounds like a good plan to hit the reset button and start over. But only if you truly are going to re-start. Don’t do all this moving and then pick up doing the same lifestyle things you are doing in Portland. If you aren’t 100% in changing your life then you might as well stay put. 

 

Great advice. I felt "similar" (not to the extent he feels because of his occupation  and his social circle seems enormous) to Fizzzzle when I grew up in Lancaster, PA. All it took for me was to move just 50 minutes away (at age 26) and I was free! I got a completely fresh start meeting all new people etc. 

 

I say follow your heart and make the change and move. I wish you great luck, my friend. You definitely seem you're at your breaking point.

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1 hour ago, TheLeon said:

“Don’t run away! Stay here with us and be miserable!” 

This. The fact that they aren't more supportive tells you everything you need to know about your friends.

 

The people that know you best can't imagine you doing something different because they are incapable of doing the same. It's about what that says about them, to them, not about you. They are projecting. @Fizzzzle

 

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