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For the record, I had no idea we have a space laser. Local Jew Feels Left Out Of Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy LOCAL.THEONION.COM SOUTHFIELD, MIโIt is an hour past sunset on a brisk Thursday night, and, like their brethren around the globe, the Jews of this affluent Detroit suburb are gathered in synagogues, busily hatching plots for world domination through financial chicanery and media influence. But for Seth Nussbaum, it will be just another lonely evening.16 points
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My sister just texted me: "Mum is the proud owner of 2 Pfizer shots ๐๐ got there at 6:40, home by 9:30 ๐"16 points
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Yesterday was the first anniversary of my father's passing and I called my mother to see how she was doing. She was absolutely furious at the retreat by the Democrats on calling witnesses and said that she was sure that my father would've felt identically.14 points
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From Thursday night, our first night of Sundance ๐12 points
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12 points
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I just got my first shot today. Had to drive over an hour away and deal with a surprise snowstorm, but I made it. So far though, I feel pretty goodbzhxbejxhxbeb MUST. CRUSH. CAPITALISM. ... Huh, that was weird.11 points
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My girlfriend and I get our second dose on Saturday, both my parents have had their second doses already. New variants notwithstanding, we will be out of covid mode, kind of, on March 6th.11 points
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10 points
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10 points
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Damn, Onion outdid themselves.10 points
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Second dose in, didn't wait the 15 minutes though, some bastard decided to take his mask off in the middle of the waiting area and start coughing. Everyone in my house is now fully vaccinated. My parents got it because they are over 65 and registered as my back up caregivers, my girlfriend got it since she's my primary caregiver during COVID, and I got it by, well, nevermind.9 points
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I feel terrible for laughing at this, but laugh I did and I cannot stop.9 points
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You can tell this guy doesnโt do cars because his analogy is backwards. An โ05 Sonata is going to work and Lamborghini is not it Italian for โreliability.โ America is absolutely a Lamborghini; a passion project of a European spun off from another larger entity mostly out of spite that has now become a subsidiary of larger corporate interests which is primarily only good for being loud and bringing attention to itself while largely being piloted by white assholes with too much money.9 points
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Stories matter more than data and facts in politics. Telling the story of January 6th with witness testimony, so that it is forever on record, matters more than just getting Trump convicted. And the Dems gave up on it because they think it doesnโt matter if they canโt get the conviction.9 points
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Got my dad a vaccination appointment for Tuesday, Ws in chat boys.9 points
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Everything Dems do will 'galvanize' the right. Fix Obamacare? Galvanized. Raise minimum wage? Galvanized. Say something scientific? Galvanized. Who fucking cares at this point.9 points
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9 points
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Why did Jeff Bezos get a divorce from his wife? He realised it was a union.9 points
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If you get rid of the filibuster than you can force Republicans to vote against popular things. Take the minimum wage hike. If you don't nuke the filibuster it won't pass and in 2022 Democrats will get the blame. Voters don't care about procedural rules, they care about results and they willbe pissed that Democrats failed to do what they set out to do. Nuke the filibuster and you force Republicans to vote. Then you can campaign against those no votes. But I bet if you put popular things to a vote, you'll get more Republican votes than you expect.9 points
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@HardAct, yes sir, I have a mint condition Vita for you! The trouble is, I VERY snowed in at the moment, so I won't be going to the post office for a week or two. So if you can wait a few weeks, I'm, happy to send it to sir!8 points
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I think Ben Shapiro found the director for his next movie, actually!8 points
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The thing is, the Democrats stand a better chance of winning if they actually do things. If the Dems do nothing (in order to appease the GOP and not "galvanize" right-wing chuds), then the GOP will win mid-terms. If the Democrats do stuff and right-wing chuds are galavanized...well, left-wing people will also be galvanized. And if not, at least something got done.8 points
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8 points
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I saw OJ Simpson trending and was pretty impressed that all it was was his vaccine. This was my favorite, though:8 points
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I was like, when did Best get the ability to write semi-coherently?8 points
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I DEMAND the r/WSB posters be invited to the hearing! Senator: "Can you please state your name for the record?" Redditor: "XxNoScope420BlazeItxX"8 points
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The Robinhood situation caught someone's attention:8 points
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Let's just hope this is better than a certain other versus movie...8 points
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8 points