Jump to content


Dallas

Member Since 25 Jan 2011
Offline Last Active Feb 21 2014 06:20 PM

Topics I've Started

Dealing with jealousy - FORBIDDEN LOVE

10 February 2014 - 11:28 PM

With each day I grow more tired of the broken muffler in my Ford C-MAX, so today I decided that I was going to pay my insurance broker a visit and bring Biggie Lizzy along with me so she could catch some scenery.  Of course, Biggie Lizzy made a bloody mess when I tried to put her on a newly bought blue colored leash, so I decided that I was just going to keep her in her cage - transporting her cage is fairly easy and this ensures she won't be up to any funny business during the car ride; if I didn't have her in her cage she'd be all over the place.  Anyways, I did as you probably guessed by now, I loaded Biggie Lizzy in the car and eventually arrived at the building wherein my insurance broker does business.  Usually when I walk in this building I'm greeted by a white man, but this time when I walked in I was greeted by a clown looking Mexican with a hair-balding pattern that is admittedly similar to my balding pattern.  He was very elated and was very ready to tell me how happy he was that not too long ago him and his "significant other" brought a baby into the world; however, despite his elation I was a bit weary because if you ask me he looks a bit too old to be having kids.  I'm not trying to sound mean, I just don't want his kid to end up with down syndrome - not that there's anything wrong with down syndrome... it's just usually not preferred.  Anyways, fast forward a bit and I eventually end up explaining to him how much of a shitty situation I'm having with my car.  I invited him over to my car so I can demonstrate the sounds that come from my Ford C-MAX and to this he complied.  We walked over to my car and immediately upon opening the door Biggie Lizzy came thrashing out of the car - my fucking lizard got out of her cage again.  However, this time she didn't run far; instead, she ran straight for the clown-looking insurance broker and stood below him very contently.  The insurance broker seemed to even enjoy this, he looked at Biggie Lizzy with a smile on his face and said "hey, you're pretty!"  After this was said Biggie Lizzy seemed to reciprocate - at least in my opinion she did.  I immediately got very jealous and grabbed Biggie Lizzy, loaded her in her cage and drove off, I'm not letting another pet leave me.  Fuck the broken muffler, I'll just deal with it if it means staying with Biggie Lizzy, albeit she's a cold-blooded bitch.  What does everyone here do when jealous emotions arise?

I dyed Biggie Lizzy's wig!

09 February 2014 - 02:44 PM

Take a gander!  What do you all think?  She hasn't escaped from her cage lately, but I can tell from the mischievous look on her face she's up to something.

Attention: Fat hairy people

09 February 2014 - 02:06 PM

Say you wanted to shave hair that's on your stomach and you have rolls.  How much effort does it take to keep the rolls pulled up so the hair can be shaved?  Can you hold them long before your arm gets tired?

Why do people say losing weight is hard?

09 February 2014 - 12:53 PM

I've had to lower my tea intake to like once a week because I find that every time I drink tea I lose ~2 pounds.  I exclusively drink it now before workouts.  As for coffee, I rarely drink that anymore because the MAOIs make my brain spin.

Blueberries also make me lose weight fast, which is a shame since I'm trying to gain weight and they taste delicious.

Have you ever had a HEATH BAR?

09 February 2014 - 02:07 AM

meh