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      D1Pcast Episode 24 - Stuff has Ryzen (featuring NextGen and Lucian04)   03/01/2017

      On this episode we talk about the latest news that has...Ryzen from the tech world. Microsoft announces games as a service, @NextGen helps us talk about AMD and their new CPU and somewhere in here we have @Lucian04 talking to us about the salt mining business. We try to keep out Nintendo talk to a minimum but don't worry, we got lots of Nintendo talk on the next podcast! So join us as we have lots of stuffs to talk about in the latest edition of the D1Pcast!  Join us in this thread to discuss the show!   http://www.dayonepatch.com/index.php?/topic/141114-d1pcast-episode-24-stuff-has-ryzenft-nextgen-lucian04/  
grimesplaya85

Dating & Feminism

109 posts in this topic

48 minutes ago, The def star said:

 

I have DJ'd a couple times down at Gas Lamp and everyone in the clubs out there are usually in their late 30's early 40's trying to keep up with their 20 year old girlfriends. It's quite a sight to see :lol: 

 

Wow thanks for letting me know you were down here :(

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19 hours ago, kaberle said:

lolol

 @Snaynay1

 

Lol. When I was living at the MCRD for recruiting school I would lay waste to the women down in San Diego. I sure as had no fucken money at the time nor did I have any car, nothing but ended up plowing through a whole household of women.

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I really think people these days look for ways to be offended.

 

My husband holds the door open for me. Never had bothered me. I holds doors open for people all the time. It's just common courtesy. 

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1 hour ago, CastlevaniaNut18 said:

I really think people these days look for ways to be offended.

 

My husband holds the door open for me. Never had bothered me. I holds doors open for people all the time. It's just common courtesy. 

I'm pretty sure he thinks he's better than women. Why else would he hold it open for the weaker sex? 

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8 minutes ago, Boyle5150 said:

I'm pretty sure he thinks he's better than women. Why else would he hold it open for the weaker sex? 

I guess I just married a pigheaded douchebag. :(

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3 hours ago, CastlevaniaNut18 said:

I guess I just married a pigheaded douchebag. :(

 

 

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. 

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On 3/20/2017 at 3:50 PM, kaberle said:

If you're using mansplaning ironically good show, but otherwise disagreeing with a woman isn't mansplanning. Learn the difference.

Your choice of words implies you are owed it, I am not saying anything other than that.You still didn't define what is toxic behavior either only that it's something you do not like.

Again you created a construct to lash out and then claim others lack emotional maturity, that is the antithesis of the whole concept. If you can not grasp that concept I don't know what to tell you.

Way to support the rape-culture there shit-lord. If a woman shows sexual interest to a man it's just flirting, can't be harassment cause man strong woman weak! But that same behavior with reversed sexes is harassment and toxic masculinity and microaggresions. And the outright implication that it is impossible for men to be sexually assaulted by women is disgusting. Again, are you ever consistent?

I was celibate for a year and that just recently ended so I'm not the best person to ask, also due to certain specifics in my appearance, a caricature of hyper-masculinity, I am also not in the position you're implying  and the majority of women who show interest are in it for the check mark/sex. I take no real issue with the overall premise but when you juxtapose it with lashing out at a group of people who don't fit your needs with pejorative like fuckboi and lack emotional maturity it's nauseatingly inconsistent. 

When you don't refine your points and define your concepts while using comparatives that indicate a mathematical majority of a population are morally flawed you should expect resistance. Can I use my personal history of female interaction to say the majority of women are like the ones I get? Of course not, but damn those barely human men for being gross! I think you just do not understand men and what a mans needs are and your own level of empathy precludes you from seeing it as important.

I'm an ER nurse, I am quite aware of what they look like, but it is still a form of body shaming in the same way if I said "no fat chicks because I have to be emotionally aroused to achieve full sexual pleasure and fat girls don't do it for me" is also body shaming. But, as someone who is routinely objectified and rated based on my body, bodybuilder, I really don't give a fuck since those fighting for body positivity exclude my population/routinely engage in fit shaming.

You should choose your words more careful and not take someone rejecting your argument as an oppressive aggressive act. That also shows a lack of emotional maturity. 

 

- Disagreeing with a woman isn't mansplaining, that's correct.  But when you lecture her on things that she already knows is or isn't true, that's another story.

 

- Since you seem to want to make up your mind about what I said, as though you know my intent better than me, I guess I'm forced to break it down for you:

 

"TBH I rarely get to have sex due to so many men being immature and/or morally flawed fuckbois and I'm often called "stuck up" and "typical feminist" (among other things) because of this:

 

The implication firstly, as I already pointed out earlier, is that hooking up between two consenting adults is a want and need based on a mutual physical attraction and also mutual emotional and intellectual attraction.  That should go without saying, but I guess my female brain is incapable of knowing that, so thank you for helping me decode the truth of my intention being "I'm owed sex" as though sex is a refund after someone fucks up your order and not a mutual giving/making of love. Or maybe I don't have sex with anyone who I'm incapable of viewing as an emotional and intellectual peer.  I'm not required to suffer the foolishness of fuckbois.

 

So let me get it straight - because I'm more educated on social issues than you and have higher standards and no tolerance for toxic behavior and ego I'M the one with the problem?  Because I choose to not date anyone who isn't as kind, sensitive and intelligent as the person I know I deserve, I'M the asshole?  K.

 

So this implies the reason I'm turning down the "opportunity" to be some fuckboy's summer trip bae is because their attraction towards me is not reciprocated due to me being more psychologically mature and sensitive than them in many ways.  Examples: when a hipster guy starts waving his feminism batsignal in a way that is supposed to impress me, as though I can't see through his attempts at pandering.  Any time a guy brags about being successful at whatever he does as though it's social currency and I'm the prize.  Any time I am talked down to as though I'm dumber than I really am.  Any time a man goes out of his way to open a door for me or says "ladies first" or some shit.  These behaviors instantly tell me enough about how you view women for me to make a reasonable judgement call about you.  I don't owe you my affection just because you are in good shape, work hard, have a lot of career success, etc.

 

- Already gave very specific examples of toxic behavior on page 2, and included some above for you to familiarize yourself with.  Kinda sad that I need to even explain what it is in 2017, but anywho...

 

- there are cases of sexual assault on men by women, sure.  There are less instances of traumatic sexual encounters of boys and adult women.  And even when it happens (depending on the age gap, of course), it's not as damaging because the underlying social power dynamics that contextualize those actions are not the same.  There are several boys who have experience a sex act with older women do not view it as an unwanted and/or traumatic event unless it is a family member.  Is some cases it might even increase their social standing depending on which social circles they're in (fooling around with an attractive teacher).  It can be an accomplishment/victory.  Also, and this is especially true of men who are muscular and in excellent physical condition, the likelihood of you being violently assaulted by a woman is FAR lower because of differences in strength among other things.  When I'm on a date with someone I'm still getting to know, every single time I'm forced to read them extensively and be conscious of the fact that when we're alone I could be overpowered and then abused if that person is secretly planning such a crime.  This isn't something that most men rarely if ever need to consider, and they certainly don't have to worry about it to the extent that we do, so in the end women feel the weight of rape culture more than most men can imagine.

 

- Again, I'm not putting all men in a box.  I'm criticizing the problem of toxic masculinity, which is a learned behavior that many men are guilty of, and I DON'T have to fucking tolerate it.  Also part of me wonders why you're so triggered by my being critical of it.  If you feel I'm judging you harshly because you are macho and muscular, keep in mind that I'm aware toxic masculinity is only just that when being masculine isn't part of who you are.  Some men enjoy active, athletic lifestyles, eating lots of meat, hunting, mixed martial arts, etc and that's not something that should be shamed. That in and of itself is not inherently chauvinistic.  Plenty of men live that lifestyle and are not by default emotionally stunted fuckboys, of course.

 

- You don't think many people are negatively impacted by toxic masculinity being ingrained in society to the point where it effects the content of ads and movies, plays a role in how human beings interact with each other daily and their feeling of self worth, and results in someone like Trump being elected president?  Did you already forget about gamergate?  You don't ever read comment sections on blogs/youtube/social media?

 

- Regarding body shaming, again, it's not body shaming unless you body shame.  We can't help who we are attracted to.  And in the end, it is often a choice to be overweight or super swole.  I empathize with any negativity one might experience because of it, but the worst oppression, actual oppression and suffering, is experienced when you are viewed as someone of lesser worth than the status quo because of something you have no control over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 3/20/2017 at 4:44 PM, Lucian04 said:

 

You're awfully presumptive, aren't you?

 

I'll go line by line to make this easier for both of us:

 

 

Oppression: This literally has absolutely nothing to do with the context of this thread or the arguments that you have presented. Your injection of "oppression" makes zero sense in this thread. You are not oppressed if your boss has sexist attitudes and those attitudes affect moving up in the workplace. That just makes your employer a fucking dickhead and you should report him to the state if you have evidence of him promoting people based on their gender. You are oppressed if you literally cannot get a job because of your sex. That being said, I can only go by your word as you've presented absolutely no evidence to back up any of your claims. I'll end this by saying that I strongly disagree with people being hired or promoted merely for their identity or genitals unless a job specifically requires you to have a certain set of genitals or be a certain identity in order to perform it.

 

Toxic Masculinity: Nobody is offended by Toxic Masculinity. You're just being called out on your usage of it because the term is not only bullshit, it's derogatory, stereotypical and straight up bigoted. You have a clear stereotype of men and I'll paraphrase what you've said here:

 

"Most men are selfish, hold backwards views and want to be in positions of power and dominance." of which you eventually shortened to a much simpler term. "Trashy".

 

To think this, you have to assume that the grand majority of men that you will come across in your entire life see these as values worth pursuing and perpetuating. As I said before, this is a simplistic way to view the world and it's along the lines of ideas like thinking that criminality is a black value (hint: it's not).

 

Inflation: Nobody has been inflating anything that you've said, especially considering that you have literally said "most men" and nobody here has conflated that into "all men" to the best of my knowledge. You either have a major issue with reading comprehension, or you're not actually putting in the effort to read the words that are being typed at you in very specific patterns to form the sentences that convey ideas and opinions of other people regarding the subject matter of this thread and your own ideas and opinions.

 

 

 

 

 

"Any man not capable of genuine compassion/empathy and intelligence is trash."

 

So we shouldn't attempt to teach them about the value of being compassionate, empathetic or intelligent? We should just leave them to wallow in abject ignorance? 

 

"If you choose to avoid addressing any privileges you might have in society at the expense of others' suffering, you're trash."

 

Please explain the benefit or utility of addressing any privileges I may have to a love interest? How will this improve a relationship? Will I get engaged? Will I get married? Will it get me laid? Does me telling you that I currently benefit from the actions of my ancestors get you randy? Is that what I have to do to get you to like me enough for those clothes to come off? In case you're wondering why I'm being flippant here, it's because a line such as this, coming from an emotionally immature fuckwit deserves nothing less than abject disdain. Requiring someone to check their privilege just to have a conversation is just straight up poisonous.

 

"We're talking about the 2017 standard for compassion/human rights here while under the rule of a man who embodies the exact behavior I'm addressing ITT."

 

What are the 2017 standards for compassion, human rights and dignity? Because a lot of those were established under the Geneva convention before you and I were even born, standards that have been and will continue to change over time based on the whims of society. You need to remember that your personal standards are not the standards for everyone else. Where you require a straight white male to check his privilege before conversing with you because your default position is "probably a shitlord", the rest of us just treat him like any other human being. "Hey, what's up! Did you hear about the Knicks losing to the Celtics last night!? My friends are so upset over it." You know, like normal fucking human beings who have better things to do than be concerned about petty identity politics when they talk to someone in line at Starbucks.

 

Trump literally has nothing to do with anything this thread and it seems plainly obvious to me that most people do not model their behavior to be exactly that of Donald Trump, not even Trump supporters. It's just another talking point in a series of talking points that fail to address anything that has been said to you because "mansplaining" and "toxic masculinity"  How the fuck easy would it be for me to live in a world where I can literally shrug off opposing opinions and criticism as "Yeah, you're probably a piece of shit, stay in your lane."

 

 

 

 

Grow. The Fuck. Up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Being held back by a sexist employer isn't oppression?  The fuck?  Who do you report to when an entire workplace has a toxic culture that makes it extra challenging to be viewed as equal or as someone who should be promoted?  You don't think this is something that still occurs often today?  You don't think that women in general make less on average than men do?  BTW, outside of porn, the vast majority of jobs don't require certain genitals for certain positions you are applying for.  Jesus.

 

-So if I was in the room with Trump and he made jokes about grabbing my pussy, and wrote it off as locker room talk, I'm not supposed to be offended?  On what fucking planet is that not hostility?  I have every right the be disgusted and offended by that.  More and more it appears I saw it for what it was it when I called you out for harboring toxic masculist attitudes on page one.  You are literally attempting to invalidate the trauma many women experience from sexist, angry men.  I guess a victim of rape and/or molestation or assault should also laugh at rape jokes on Tosh.0 and get over that too, eh?  Disgusting.

 

-Those attitudes are sometimes actively pursued by men, but the real problem is how prevalent they are among men who don't realize they harbor them.  Men often behave in subtly sexist ways without knowing it, and they would react similarly to how you do when called out on that sexism.  I don't necessarily view it as a problem inherently within men, as it's more accurate to say they are behaviors learned from older generations and much of the media one consumes.  Shitty fathers, grandfathers, uncles, Donald Trump, Tom Leykis, Tucker Max, etc to name just a few examples.  Even some of the most beautiful men in history were infected by it (John Lennon had moments of misogyny/abuse towards women in his life).  It is not necessarily the man himself that is evil as much as it is the widespread behaviors he knowingly or unknowingly perpetuates.  It becomes more sinister when they refuse to accept responsibility for their actions and refuse to change.

 

-My comments were absolutely twisted into being a condemnation of all men.  The evidence is in the first few pages of the thread alone (assuming it hasn't been edited out).  

 

-Teaching compassion is almost impossible when the person who should be doing the learning refuses to change and instead opts to continue benefiting from the privileges they unjustly reap.  I've noticed only a few users on this board actively condemn the patriarchy (Such as Anathema, who is quite possibly the most beautiful poster on this board).

 

-Again, I've already posted examples of things to not do and advice to consider regarding how one should conduct themselves socially in 2017.  I am not responsible for coddling you.  The fact remains, that life is in general much easier for men who are most or all of the following: straight, cis, white, christian, willfully ignorant, etc.  Anyone who refuses to own up to those privileges and the fact that they have an easier life (socially speaking) isn't worth having long discussions with.  If you refuse to change or own up to your privilege via being more considerate of the struggles those without it experience, that's on you.  And I should be allowed to emotionally protect myself by refusing to date you and/or get to call you a dick, trash, etc when that truth becomes apparent without fear of facing unjust consequences.

 

 

On 3/20/2017 at 4:59 PM, SFLUFAN said:

Also, I suggest that you very quickly get over this "empathy" problem that you claim to have.  Empathy is an absolutely terrible guide for moral reasoning.

 

Y'know, this reply reminds me of when a coworker said to me, "Now now, you shouldn't let something so petty as the human emotion get in the way of rational thinking and facts."

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1 minute ago, grimesplaya85 said:

Y'know, this reply reminds me of when a coworker said to me, "Now now, you shouldn't let something so petty as the human emotion get in the way of rational thinking and facts."

 

I like your co-worker!   I would like to encounter this individual.

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10 minutes ago, SFLUFAN said:

 

I like your co-worker!   I would like to encounter this individual.

 

Have you read this book by chance?

 

https://www.amazon.com/Against-Empathy-Case-Rational-Compassion/dp/0062339338

 

I read an earlier essay by him on this topic and it seems pretty reasonable. 

 

Here is the book blurb:

 

Quote

We often think of our capacity to experience the suffering of others as the ultimate source of goodness. Many of our wisest policy-makers, activists, scientists, and philosophers agree that the only problem with empathy is that we don’t have enough of it.

 

Nothing could be farther from the truth, argues Yale researcher Paul Bloom. In AGAINST EMPATHY, Bloom reveals empathy to be one of the leading motivators of inequality and immorality in society. Far from helping us to improve the lives of others, empathy is a capricious and irrational emotion that appeals to our narrow prejudices. It muddles our judgment and, ironically, often leads to cruelty. We are at our best when we are smart enough not to rely on it, but to draw instead upon a more distanced compassion.

 

Basing his argument on groundbreaking scientific findings, Bloom makes the case that some of the worst decisions made by individuals and nations—who to give money to, when to go to war, how to respond to climate change, and who to imprison—are too often motivated by honest, yet misplaced, emotions. With precision and wit, he demonstrates how empathy distorts our judgment in every aspect of our lives, from philanthropy and charity to the justice system; from medical care and education to parenting and marriage. Without empathy, Bloom insists, our decisions would be clearer, fairer, and—yes—ultimately more moral.

 

Brilliantly argued, urgent and humane, AGAINST EMPATHY shows us that, when it comes to both major policy decisions and the choices we make in our everyday lives, limiting our impulse toward empathy is often the most compassionate choice we can make.

 

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1 minute ago, legend said:

 

Have you read this book by chance?

 

https://www.amazon.com/Against-Empathy-Case-Rational-Compassion/dp/0062339338

 

I read an earlier essay by him on this topic and it seems pretty reasonable. 

 

Here is the book blurb:

 

 

 

Did you listen to both Harris interviews? They're pretty good.

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Just now, Lucian04 said:

 

Did you listen to both Harris interviews? They're pretty good.

 

Ah no, I didn't. Might have to check them out.

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4 minutes ago, legend said:

 

Ah no, I didn't. Might have to check them out.

 

Of all of Harris' guests, I actually enjoy listening to Bloom.

 

https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/the-virtues-of-cold-blood <-- This is the one regarding empathy

 

https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/abusing-dolores <-- a continuation plus other topics

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28 minutes ago, legend said:

 

Have you read this book by chance?

 

https://www.amazon.com/Against-Empathy-Case-Rational-Compassion/dp/0062339338

 

I read an earlier essay by him on this topic and it seems pretty reasonable. 

 

Here is the book blurb:

 

 

 

Where the devil do you think I got it from? :P

 

Well, I mean I heard him on Sam's podcast.

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37 minutes ago, Lucian04 said:

 

Of all of Harris' guests, I actually enjoy listening to Bloom.

 

https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/the-virtues-of-cold-blood <-- This is the one regarding empathy

 

https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/abusing-dolores <-- a continuation plus other topics

 

 

Cool!

 

 

16 minutes ago, SFLUFAN said:

 

Where the devil do you think I got it from? :P

 

Well, I mean I heard him on Sam's podcast.

 

 

:lol: Very well then.

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