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grimesplaya85

Dating & Feminism

109 posts in this topic

About to vent, so fair warning. 

 

Why is it so challenging being a self-respecting feminist in the dating scene where I live (San Diego)?  TBH I rarely get to have sex due to so many men being immature and/or morally flawed fuckbois and I'm often called "stuck up" and "typical feminist" (among other things) because of this.  So let me get it straight - because I'm more educated on social issues than you and have higher standards and no tolerance for toxic behavior and ego I'M the one with the problem?  Because I choose to not date anyone who isn't as kind, sensitive and intelligent as the person I know I deserve, I'M the asshole?  K.

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All men are awful and I would like to see them not be part of society. 

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Do you call them cis scum? Do you go out of your way to mention that women are better than men, not equal, or heavily imply it?

 

If not, then it probably isn't your fault.

 

You could be ugly instead. A stronger willed ugly woman is more likely to be in this kind of situation. A woman that is considered more attractive may not face these kinds of issues. 

 

Some ugly men find it better to be the "weaker" person in a relationship to get what they desire. 

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So you're owed sex? Fascinating/lol at the lack of consistency. 

Toxic you say? Hypocrite I say.

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He doesn't live here, don't believe his lies.

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5 hours ago, kittykat said:

All men are awful and I would like to see them not be part of society. 

I tried really hard to not be a part of society but it kept pulling me in :(

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After my last relationship, I decided to step out of the dating game indefinitely.    For now, the Content Bachelor thing suits me.

 

Both sides emit their fair share of bullshit that isn't worth dealing with.

 

 

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Sorry if I offended anyone, not a troll post, I'm just frustrated that the vast majority of men = trash.  Men who want to talk down to you to live out some weird "father/daughter" type fantasy where the girl just asks the amazing all-knowing man about life all the time, men who think you secretly want to be submissive, or pretending to be smarter and more sensitive under the guise of "trying to better myself" when they are really microagressive garbage with fragile egos, etc.  

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45 minutes ago, grimesplaya85 said:

Sorry if I offended anyone, not a troll post, I'm just frustrated that the vast majority of people = trash.  People who want to talk down to you to live out some weird people/person" type fantasy where the person just asks the amazing all-knowing people about life all the time, people who think you secretly want to be submissive, or pretending to be smarter and more sensitive under the guise of "trying to better myself" when they are really people with fragile egos, etc.  

 

Fixed for equality

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2 hours ago, Lucian04 said:

 

Fixed for equality

 

Except this thread is about trashy men, and going by your attempt there to microinvalidate my oppression caused by them it looks like you might be one.  :)

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8 minutes ago, grimesplaya85 said:

 

Except this thread is about trashy men, and going by your attempt there to microinvalidate my oppression caused by them it looks like you might be one.  :)

I think I have found your problem...

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10 hours ago, kaberle said:

So you're owed sex? Fascinating/lol at the lack of consistency. 

Toxic you say? Hypocrite I say.

 

So I guess I have no right to choose a partner that meets and fulfills my expectations and needs? You don't get to speak for me or my sexuality, BTW, kthnx.

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2 hours ago, Bacon said:

Ahh, so you are the issue. You are a Feminazi. Most people in general won't like you.

 

I find this is because most men have a backwards view of sex and gender, like using the term "feminazi" or "shrill" or "ball breaker" to describe someone who doesn't have time to waste stroking the egos of man babies, but maybe I should fix my relationship priorities, eh?  

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11 minutes ago, grimesplaya85 said:

 

I find this is because most men have a backwards view of sex and gender, like using the term "feminazi" or "shrill" or "ball breaker" to describe someone who doesn't have time to waste stroking the egos of man babies, but maybe I should fix my relationship priorities, eh?  

This reminds me of women who complain about being in abusive relationships and they can't figure out why they always end up with jerks.  

Self-reflection

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Sorry but OP is right. All men are fucking terrible. I too have recently had my feelings hurt by a man, so I can confirm this universal truth. 

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1 hour ago, grimesplaya85 said:

 

So I guess I have no right to choose a partner that meets and fulfills my expectations and needs? You don't get to speak for me or my sexuality, BTW, kthnx.

So you're owed sex and guys not wanting you means they're all trash? That they don't get to choose for their needs?

 

kthnx

 

also way to miss the point.

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OP, never consider for a moment that you are barely out of high school and maybe just haven't met an appropriate partner for yourself yet, especially when dealing with immature people. Never consider that this is something many people struggle with regardless of gender. You have come to the right conclusion, men are scum!

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23 minutes ago, kittykat said:

OP, never consider for a moment that you are barely out of high school and maybe just haven't met an appropriate partner for yourself yet, especially when dealing with immature people. Never consider that this is something many people struggle with regardless of gender. You have come to the right conclusion, men are scum!

 

Nobody wants a drunk basement dweller, let alone a Canadian :P

 

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47 minutes ago, kittykat said:

OP, never consider for a moment that you are barely out of high school and maybe just haven't met an appropriate partner for yourself yet, especially when dealing with immature people. Never consider that this is something many people struggle with regardless of gender. You have come to the right conclusion, men are scum!

Stop mansplaining KK! Gosh.

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9 hours ago, kaberle said:

So you're owed sex and guys not wanting you means they're all trash? That they don't get to choose for their needs?

 

kthnx

 

also way to miss the point.

 

Your projecting.  If you read the OP you'd see it was me venting about men who are into me but lack the intelligence and sensitivity to meet my standards.  My standards are not THAT high.  They begin at not being a dick and end at not being a pig. :)

 

4 hours ago, Stickey said:

Im guessing the first circumstance is they have to be hot?

 

Nope.  I feel like I'm starting to sound like a broken record.  I guess maybe lots of men are shockingly bad at listening too?  I'm not here to be your mother and explain the social standards of 2017 to you :) .  

 

Again, my main requirement is not being an idiot and/or a dick and/or a borderline red pill type and/or displaying ego, fragility, toxic masculinity, etc.  You'd be surprised at how many guys that weeds out.  I'm a sex positive, sexually active being.  But I'm aroused by intelligence and compassion.  Most men are very selfish and/or want to be in a position of power/dominance, which is gross.  Confidence isn't gross, but fake confidence and ego are repellant. Also not being obese and/or having a micropenis helps.  I don't think many women would disagree with this, and most sensible people wouldn't find it to be unreasonable. 

 

 

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20 hours ago, grimesplaya85 said:

About to vent, so fair warning. 

 

Why is it so challenging being a self-respecting feminist in the dating scene where I live (San Diego)?  TBH I rarely get to have sex due to so many men being immature and/or morally flawed fuckbois and I'm often called "stuck up" and "typical feminist" (among other things) because of this.  So let me get it straight - because I'm more educated on social issues than you and have higher standards and no tolerance for toxic behavior and ego I'M the one with the problem?  Because I choose to not date anyone who isn't as kind, sensitive and intelligent as the person I know I deserve, I'M the asshole?  K.

 

1 hour ago, grimesplaya85 said:

 

Your projecting.  If you read the OP you'd see it was me venting about men who are into me but lack the intelligence and sensitivity to meet my standards.  My standards are not THAT high.  They begin at not being a dick and end at not being a pig. :)

 

Again, my main requirement is not being an idiot and/or a dick and/or a borderline red pill type and/or displaying ego, fragility, toxic masculinity, etc.  You'd be surprised at how many guys that weeds out.  I'm a sex positive, sexually active being.  But I'm aroused by intelligence and compassion.  Most men are very selfish and/or want to be in a position of power/dominance, which is gross.  Confidence isn't gross, but fake confidence and ego are repellant. Also not being obese and/or having a micropenis helps.  I don't think many women would disagree with this, and most sensible people wouldn't find it to be unreasonable. 

 

 



So, lets break this down shall we?

I rarely get to have sex

The implication there is that you are owed sex, you're not. So I am not projecting, don't claim others are projecting when that is what the sentence structure you used implies. Go ahead and look up implicit and explicit language.

so many men being immature and/or morally flawed fuckbois

I'm not sure what bastardized version of the word you're using here but I will begin with fuckboy. Yes, men are so fucked up for wanting to have sex with members of the sex they are so inclined to. The horror! As far emotionally immature, lol. You group the majority of a sex together because they are not "what you want" so clearly there is something wrong with them! You realize that being emotionally mature means responding to your emotions correctly right? But yep, just lambaste an entire group of people. Clearly that's the mature thing to do.

On a personal note, I am routinely objectified and was routinely used for a good time by many women who also lied to get what they wanted. That's just women owning their sexuality though. But damn those men with their toxic-masculinity and fragile egos!

 because I'm more educated on social issues than you and have higher standards

I am so much better than you are you stupid pleb! I read books and stuff!

and no tolerance for toxic behavior and ego I'M the one with the problem?

I think you don't know what the words you choose mean especially in the context of the paragraph. What is toxic behavior? Competition? Posturing? Thinking you're owed something for your presence? Grouping an entire group of individuals into a straw man like structure you can attack because you're upset? Ohh....

Because I choose to not date anyone who isn't as kind, sensitive and intelligent as the person I know I deserve

Yes, you totally deserve a ten percent guy. Easily.lololol You deserve the best, but those guys are just so fuck lucky a woman wants them. Fuck their needs and wants, that's irrelevant. Yours are all that matters.

Says her standards aren't "don't be a dick" and no toxic behavior. Is a dick with toxic behavior.

I guess maybe lots of men are shockingly bad at listening too?  

Hey everyone, she reads books and stuff. She's a like a sage, us men are just herp derp troglodytes still trying to create fire and using blood and charcoal to make cave paintings.

I'm not here to be your mother and explain the social standards of 2017 to you

Implies mommy issues and that we're stuck in the past cause we don't see the sage wisdom of the liberal arts major who reads and stuff who lambastes an entire group of people, who feels she's owed sex and deserves attention from men she wants while outright stating those who don't want her are fuckboys and not emotionally mature enough to handle, dare I say, "a real woman."

 I'm a sex positive,

Just not with those fat small dick fucks amirite!? But damn guys for having standards! Fuckers. They should just be glad a woman has interest in them.

But I'm aroused by intelligence and compassion.

Just not with those fat small dick fucks amirite!? They're cleary just too stupid to deserve compassion.

At least pretend to be consistent next time.

inb4 toxic masculinity, mansplaining, and can't handle a strong woman.

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