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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/28/2023 in all areas

  1. So, while I'm not as active here as I once was, I still lurk fairly regularly, and post on occasion. And wanted to share some good feels on something that I can't celebrate as openly as I'd like out there IRL. Two years ago today, I walked in to a GA (Gambler's Anonymous) room on the recommendation of my therapist. For the better part of two years prior, my relationship with a mobile game (Lords Mobile, for any who might be aware of it), which started as a distraction and grew to something much stronger, compulsive, and toxic, had led me to a point where dissociation from family/friends/work, habitual lying, and any number of other maladaptive behaviors had become the norm for me, all while spending ungodly amounts of money on growing and building my account in the game. Denial was a central tenet of my life - denial that I had a problem, denial of the pain I was causing myself and others, denial of what I was doing to myself, denial that I was "coping" with my problems by (trying to) escape them into the fantasy life of the game and the "social" aspect of the all-too-shallow friendships formed from other players on Discord, Line, Teamspeak, etc. So, I walked into the first meeting feeling pretty hopeless, lost in despair, and more than a little shame and guilt - not over what I'd done (as I deluded myself into believing at the time), but rather, shame and guilt over having been caught lying, stealing (from our joint savings while amassing staggering amounts of credit card debt), etc. I spent a lot of time in meetings in my first few months just talking about how badly I felt, but didn't actually start experiencing any sort of recovery until (at the prompting of another member) I starting opening up and talking about what I'd done, the terrible acts I'd committed, the countless lies I'd told, how I'd reached a point where when asked a question, my first inclination wasn't to tell the truth, but rather to run through this sort of twisted calculus in an attempt to come up with the best answer to satisfy whichever need I felt at that moment, which usually amounted to a need to be left the fuck alone so I could resume escaping into the game. But over time, after 100+ meetings or so, and with continued support from my therapist, my wife, and our couples therapist, I started to recover, to find and regain a sense of normalcy and stability. I started to understand that although I'd done some awful things, that that didn't mean that I was, or would always be, an awful person. Having always been a compulsive reader (one quirky benefit of my own compulsive tendencies), I started studying addiction, learning about the disease model of addiction, among other things. Even more valuable, after regaining a sense of clarity (and empathy, and the capacity for growth), I've been able, between work done in GA and with my therapist, to learn so much more about myself, coming to realize that the seeds of my own compulsion/addiction issues took root long ago, back in my childhood. Which is not to lay blame on anyone else - while there is plenty of baggage I'm still working on unpacking, these issues are my own, and are no less the fault of others than they are of me. But it very much feels like a mixed bag at times: gaining these insights and coming to understand more of who I am, and (to some extent) why I am the way I am, is a blessing, although I'd be lying if I said that there aren't times when I wished I could have gained these insights when I was younger, on one of the many occasions when I've experienced some particularly painful personal falls - gaming took me to a rock bottom, but I've headed in that direction on several occasions in my past, and it's entirely possible that but for some minor twist of fate, that I might have ended up in an NA room, or perhaps AA (although my more destructive compulsions seem more inclined to those which stimulate rather than depress). But regardless, January 25th is now as important a date to me as my wedding date, and in all reality, more personally meaningful to me than my birthday. Life isn't perfect, nor can it ever be, but as many in program can attest, our worst day in recovery is better than our best day in action. It still feels strange for me to say that getting caught by my wife (a truly awful day which I will never forget) might be one of the best things that could ever happen to me. I was cautious and cunning in my deceit, working hard to maintain the facade of stability, and although she knew that something was wrong with me, she had no idea of what I was doing to myself, and the ways in which I was starting to significantly undermine our financial security. If not for an email alert indicating a high balance on one of our shared credit cards, I shudder in horror to think of how much damage I could have done before something far more destructive brought my actions to light. I owe her in more ways than I know how to count, and will never forget the fear and pain in her eyes the night she discovered the depths of what I'd done. Her recovery continues along a track similar to my own; family and friends of addicts suffer a Hell every bit (or more) as nightmarish as those of the addicted. Addiction is referred to at times as the great eraser, in how it can erase and erode the feelings of safety, comfort, and ultimately, love, which bind us to family and friends, and rebuilding those things which have been lost is so damn hard. I'm blessed that my wife has remained by my side, recognizing that the person she was burdened to be around which I was in addiction, is but a diseased fragment of who I truly am (or can be). It is a (at times painfully slow) process, but we are healing, and remain united in the fierce and unwavering conviction of what we can, and will be, together. For those who've made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read these thoughts. I'm incredibly grateful for where I am, what I've regained, and for the opportunities I've been granted in recovery. If there is anyone who has any questions and would like some input from someone who's embraced the pain of self-destruction and has been able to start the journey towards healing and recovery, feel free to shoot me a message. Addiction is a terrible disease, and the unfortunate reality is that it can never be truly understood from the outside looking in, but I'm always happy to try to share my own perspective if it can help others find some degree of understanding.
    19 points
  2. As the days have grown shorter and colder with the coming onset of winter, it's time once again for D1P to give thanks for the generosity of the Deities of the Sacred Random Number Generator. So, make your post in this thread for an opportunity to partake in their munificent grace!
    19 points
  3. She has officially left Israel as of 20 minutes ago. Having to overnight in Europe before flying out tomorrow but at least she’s safe.
    18 points
  4. This is actually my brother Connor, who I have shared an account with since the days of IGN. It was kind of a running bit at this point, but probably 90% of the posts on the account were me me over the last 7-8 years He is more of a lurker by nature. I am good. I don't hate anybody here. I actually miss many of you goobers, even the ones who were kinda jerks I have pretty much removed all internet socialization from my life (except for my very narrow baseball twitter account for during the season), and have intentionally leaned in to real world interactions as I think on balance digital communication has been a net negative for society. I am busy with my kids schooling, and now have a couple more kiddos I am tutoring through college. My oldest will be done with his bachelors next spring, so I have been doing a lot of LSAT prep stuff with him as I think he will take that this Fall? I am not entirely sure of the timeline quite yet on when he should take it. But it is a fun test. I did a few of the practice tests that are old LSAT exams, and it is legitimately a fun type of test. I also am neck deep in a new business venture that involves a lot of travel. I've been in LA a bunch lately for meetings, and was in Park City for Sundance. The basic gist of the new company is we are a booking platform for filmmakers and theaters to connect to help fill the gap vacated by the major studios in the post pandemic world. The dummies gutted a lot of their theatrical production pipeline during the pandemic thinking that their direct to consumer dream was finally here. Whoops. Warners for example is probably 5 years away from being back to their old production output. So, so, so dumb. But it opens the door for what I am working on. It was really interesting to see how few movies sold out of Sundance as even the streamers have tightened their belts and aren't dropping dollars all over the place like they did through the 2023 film festival cycle. I am having more and more conversation with filmmakers (directors and producers), as that is the side of the equation I understand the least. But the response has been really positive and I think we can crack the nut on making it a viable mechanism for theatrical distribution. Getting more content into cinemas, more varied content, and with more flexibility for both the content owners and the theaters is quite the trick to pull off, but I feel more certain of this than anything I've done in my professional career to date. My goal is to get out first title into theaters in January 2025, and I think we are on track for that. I'll hopefully have a decently far along version of the website in the next 8-ish weeks. I'll post a link so you can tell me what you think. Anyway, if anybody wants to reach out to me, send me an email to sblfilms at gmail and I'll give you my cell number. I'll be all over the map the rest of the year at various film festivals and always enjoy sharing a meal with the D1Pers.
    17 points
  5. With the Democrats retaining the VA Senate and at least tying the VA House of Delegates, I'd say the $1,000 in campaign contributions I made to the VA Democratic Party was money well spent!
    17 points
  6. Sorry for bummer topic but my cat started losing a lot of weight recently so I took him to the vet and he was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. He was getting a bit older (around 16) but he was was incredibly spry and playful for his age even through the cancer and the weight loss... until about 3 days ago he started isolating himself a lot and it was clear something was wrong, then last night he really took a turn for the worst and I couldn't bare seeing him in that pain and the vet said he only had 2-3 days left max so I had to do what was best for him. I didn't think it would hit me this hard, I knew it was coming for a long time but I'm pretty fucking sad today. I had been looking forward to starting Tears of the Kingdom for months if not years but I have no damn desire right now and I feel like in my mind it will always be associated with day he passed. I lost my grandmother (who basically raised me) to cancer on my birthday 30 years ago and I still feel like it's a cursed day. Anyways, love your family, love your pets, take good care of them.
    17 points
  7. BURN IN HELL, YOU GODDAMNED BASTARD!
    16 points
  8. I know i've posted more in the past 20 minutes than i have in like, 5 years. But i just needed distractions today, and posting and being a bit goofy helps a little. My dad will be 90 this year, but it doesnt look like he is going to make it to 90, and even though my dad and I havent always been on the best of terms, i saw him today, and it nearly broke me. I honestly thought i hated the man, but seeing him today, sitting in a wheel chair, not even recognizing me at first, going in and out of consciousness, i was just at a complete loss. It was 2 hours each way to reach him, yet i only managed to stay for 30 minutes or so before i couldnt handle it anymore. So thats it, no it isnt an April Fools joke, i just needed to meddle, and i havent talked to most of you in forever, so yeah...
    16 points
  9. Slightly more strict rules here. Sorry, but only people a thousand posts or more. Only people who have posted within the last two months. Nobody who has a different pc handheld already. Nobody who had a steam deck already! Please don’t enter if you aren’t sure if you will use it, Im pretty sure there are people here who know they will. I probably won’t ship it until after my LA trip which means mid september. But will end this around 7pm Monday pacific time. I have a the original csse, the charger, and Ill probably include a 400gb sd card. Enter a number 1-100 and RNG will decide, good luck!
    15 points
  10. Wow sucks that the Dominion settlement did nothing. Imagine if it had done something.
    15 points
  11. My dog izzy passed away back in December of 23. Gus here will be joining the family to fill the hole left by the world's nicest, but dumbest dog ever... Here are Gus' mom and dad, in that order:
    14 points
  12. @b_m_b_m_b_m @stepee Typing up this rant between things at work so it's probably a little disjointed. I haven't seen the movie. I don't care to see the movie. But you don't need to see the movie to know of the underlying issues with it and its subject matter. The Sound of Freedom is the latest conservative circle jerk propaganda piece that gullible people who can't separate criticism of something they like from criticism of them as people are hyping. It was filmed around 2018 or so and then shopped to various studios and streaming services. Repeatedly rejected likely because of the problematic figure at the center of the movie--more on that in a bit--until it was finally picked up by "Angel Studios", which of course sounds like a porn studio, but is actually a streaming service for Puritans that started out as a service that let you on-the-fly skip/edit-out content you didn't want to see. Founded by a couple of Mormon dudes, their fellow Mormons loved it. They could finally watch Game of Thrones! Of course, the episodes wound up being like 15 minutes long after editing out all of the violence, swearing, and sex. But I digress. The service was taken to court over copyright claims or something like that. I can't remember the details and don't care to look them up. But the plaintiffs won and Angel Studios basically had to shift what their business does. They started producing original content. Maybe you've heard of The Chosen. It's a drama about Jesus or something I don't know. Anyways, Angel Studios decided to distribute The Sound of Freedom because of course they did. It did really well on its release. Lots of headlines from places like Breitbart and their ilk were touting how the movie that the establishment doesn't want you to see beat Indiana Jones on July 4th or something in box office draw. Neat. Who cares? Oh, and also, it sure seems like it's doing as well as it is because people who can buy extra tickets are doing so with the intent on giving them away. And the distributor is also likely buying out theaters in some places. Plenty of reports out there of people going to see it and seeing a full theater when selecting their seats, but being basically alone in the theater when the movie started playing. The movie centers around a non-profit organization called Operation Underground Railroad and its founder Tim Ballard, portrayed by a poorly bleached and Q-Anon brainwormed Jim Caviezel. OUR's stated mission is to rescue children from sex trafficking. They raise money to accomplish this mission. But, OUR is problematic for several reasons. The least of which is actually their dumbass name trying to associate a problem with a past injustice. OUR’s claims about the efficacy and extent of their operations has been well-documented to be exaggerated, ineffective, and at times even detrimental to actual operations trying to help actual victims of human trafficking. When OUR goes into an area for a "drop mission", they find a trafficker and request children for a "party". Reports abound that on many occasions, the targeted trafficker will find new and never exploited children to fulfill the order. So at least some of the children "rescued" by OUR were only being exploited because of the sting operation itself. OUR used to be very vocal about how many operations they've conducted with stats to show their impact. They now sponsor a fraction of what they used to do largely due to the issue of creating victims to rescue them. Several of the traffickers that OUR has conducted operations against are small scale members of large drug cartels. So these stings that they conduct are doing very little to tackle the actual issues. Another fun thing you hear about this organization and their stings is that many local police departments in South America facilitated some of these operations just to make room for the expansion of rival gangs… because those police were corrupt! Fun! They’ve also “rescued” people and extracted them from certain circumstances they were in consensually—ironically making the organization guilty of the very thing they claim to be fighting. They’ve run around various areas in South America and Eastern Europe waving cameras around and drawing attention to themselves, making it difficult for agencies working to help victims to do so. OUR frequently appears to take credit for successful operations that law enforcement in host countries executed. Ballard has even claimed in front of Congress to have been personally involved in the rescue of a girl who actually rescued herself, and didn’t meet with anybody from OUR until years after the fact when she was preparing to testify against her abusers in court. Should we talk about the likely financial impropriety? It's a non-profit that just appears to be flying celebrities around to participate in “operations” (re: waving cameras around and drawing attention to themselves), making movies, and hiring psychics to help them find victims they can rescue. There's a fun story that floats around about a local car dealership here donating a luxury SUV to OUR for use in their operations. It was used once but now it's just Tim Ballard's personal vehicle. OUR also contracts various services for their operational needs. These services are not non-profit. And many appear to be run by various Ballard family members and close acquaintances. Here's what an actual expert on human trafficking has to say about OUR: What do competent law enforcement agencies say about OUR? Let's ask the Washington State Patrol. All of the above is just the tip of the iceberg. And under all of that, is a Q-Anon fueled conspiracy theory that there is a secret cabal of elites that kidnaps children, rapes them, drains their brains of a certain element, and then harvests their organs. Tim Ballard frequently flirts with those ideas and the people who propagate them. The people who made this movie (including the main actor) all buy into that nonsense and talk about it ad-nauseam. None of that is to say that sex trafficking doesn’t happen. But OUR isn’t doing anything to help stop it. The vast, vast, vast, vast majority of victims of sexual abuse and rape will suffer those experiences because of somebody in their family or trusted social group that they’ve known for years. Funny how Tim doesn’t seem at all outraged about his church’s habit of protecting abusers and shaming victims in those circumstances. You'll also notice people use the cause of OUR to deflect away from other societal issues. "How can you possibly care about Black Lives Matter when children are being sold as sex slaves?" "Why should we put any energy into social justice when children are being raped?" "The queer community is so entitled. How could they possibly have any grievances when children are being trafficked?" Etc. etc. For all of those reasons everybody should take Tim and OUR’s claims with a huge grain of salt and funnel their donations to competent organizations with rational people at their helms. But if you point any of this out, you're labeled a pedophile by people with brainworms. Said people like seeing OUR-produced videos of dudes in tactical gear cosplaying action heroes bringing violence down on alleged traffickers. They don't like to hear or contemplate the long, slow, careful, and quiet work it takes to tackle the underlying issues that cause trafficking.
    14 points
  13. I missed too many days without leave so they officially fired me about 2 hours ago. Just when I am getting bankruptcy and was starting to save. I will reapply to the State because I put in 16 years. I'm in shock right now and not fully grasping what's going on. Thanks @Biggie for supporting me through this.
    13 points
  14. Seconded. Also my dog had a heart attack last night and is pretty much at death’s door. Double gut-punch. I just can’t take anymore loss this week. And it’s only f*cking Tuesday.
    13 points
  15. Mainly because of this board. I have been brain washed since grade school and by my peers to view everything in the conservative perspective with no open mind or different type of thinking. Even my HS was conservative but the more logical things I read on this section of the board and the more I have separated myself from not only the Catholic faith but my Christian beliefs as well, I'm definitely leaning to the left. This will cause a bit of a Rift in my family circle but fuck them honestly. I will most definitely be voting differently in 24. I guess you guy's can take credit for this and I'm willing to keep learning about this beautiful country with an open mind and with an open heart. It took 35 years for the change but better now than later with how the US is heading. I've already been debating things with my parents and @stepee enters my mind when having discussions with my father. Thank you for opening my eyes.
    13 points
  16. She made it to 92 with very advanced dementia so amazing going for her. She also got to experience being a great-grandmother to two children, came both to my wedding as well as my sisters, and I’m 99% sure was the longest surviving member of her friendship group. We’ve all been waiting on today for a few years now so I’m not sad, or shocked - I just hope my Mum is OK. It also happens to be my fourth wedding anniversary so that’ll be a way to remember both occasions!
    13 points
  17. Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr. WWW.THEONION.COM The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.
    13 points
  18. I hope this helps everyone understand the OP better:
    13 points
  19. As seen on reddit: "People keep talking about how this is unprecedented, but on average, American presidents are indicted 1.54 times per president. We've had 46 U.S. Presidents, and they've been indicted on a total of 71 felony counts. Here's how it breaks down: Presidents 1-44: 0 President 45: 71 President 46: 0"
    13 points
  20. Hey y'all, I'm back after taking a break. Sorry for having a meltdown last year. I've always been very public about my mental health struggles and how my PTSD affects my posting sometimes. I apologize for making a scene, but I am doing much better now. For the past five months I started seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma it has made a huge difference already. It is wild the kind of new techniques they have now to work through trauma that is way more effective than traditional talk therapy. If you're reading this and you feel like you have trauma you haven't worked through yet and you have the means then please see a trauma therapist. The results have been amazing for me so far!
    12 points
  21. Simply saying the term “promposal” should come with a jail sentence.
    12 points
  22. 12 points
  23. Biden should just repeatedly say "Trump nominated the judges that took Roe away from you" repeatedly from now until election day.
    12 points
  24. FTC is full steam ahead on sweeping noncompete ban, reinforcing antitrust, agency head tells docs WWW.FIERCEHEALTHCARE.COM Healthcare lobbying organizations’ efforts to carve out industry-specific exemptions in recently proposed Federal Trade Commission (FTC) policies are unlikely to see their... This would be so so so good.
    12 points
  25. Trump Privately Frets He Could Be Headed to Prison WWW.ROLLINGSTONE.COM Donald Trump has a burning question for his confidants and attorneys: Would he have to him wear “one of those jumpsuits” in prison? 🥰
    12 points
  26. I’m four months clean today and starting a new job for $25/hr next week
    12 points
  27. Btw, (yes I’m hijacking this thread) my puppy is 10 weeks old this week, I’ve had him for 3. My malamute, Shadow, who was the best dog ever, passed away at 11 years old on June 8th. It was out of nowhere and seems to have been a blood clot that got thrown to her heart or brain. I had her since she was 6 weeks old. We actually reserved this new puppy 10 days before she passed (we were on a waiting list for just over two years as it’s a very specific and rare breed that we wanted, plus we wanted a puppy that looked similar to Shadow so she would think it’s hers, otherwise we would’ve gone the adoption route). He was essentially supposed to be “her puppy” as we had the feeling that Shadow always wanted to be a mom by how she would “play” with her toys (would walk around with them and just lay down and lick them and cuddle with them - never destructive or rough with them after she turned 2, unless it was a bone-type toy), and we researched and saw that introducing a puppy typically extends the life of an older dog. It honestly felt and still feels that she was ripped away from me out of nowhere, she showed basically no signs of being sick until a few days before and we had her at the vet literally every day as soon as something seemed wrong. It’s been so unbelievably rough since her passing, and getting this puppy has been very bittersweet since he was supposed to be “hers” and she was taken barely 3 weeks before he arrived. We originally had a different name picked out for him, but decided that we wanted one to connect him to Shadow, so we named him ”Erebus”, who was the Greek (and Roman) god of shadows.
    12 points
  28. I like how his big crimes are not paying taxes and owning a gun... two central pillars of the Republican Party...
    12 points
  29. I’ll give away one game a day this memorial holiday - pick a number 1-100 and I’ll RNG it! Starts today runs through Monday - any game up to $70 - gooooooo Giveaway partially provided by @gamer.tv !
    12 points
  30. It's almost like gun ownership for self / home defense is correlated with false narratives about personal safety, shit tier risk assessment, and preposterous value assessments of property versus life.
    11 points
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